


Change

by Arraen26



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2019-12-26 04:06:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 46,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18275444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arraen26/pseuds/Arraen26
Summary: My take on Zutara - I tried to remain as close to canon as possible, since there are so many things I love the way they are. The first chapter mirrors the story, but after that it veers into my own work. Begins after The Western Air Temple episode in Season 3. I don't own Avatar the Last Airbender or its characters! Reviews welcome!





	1. Chapter 1

-Zuko-

“Okay, this is really, really weird,” Zuko heard Sokka say to Aang as he left Zuko alone in his new room. Zuko couldn’t blame him for feeling that way – it was really weird to be joining the Avatar after so many years of hunting him down. He just hoped he could prove to the group that, without a doubt, he was there to help. At least he’d gained a little trust with Aang. The rest would have to come with time.   
I’ll show them, Zuko thought determinedly. This is my destiny now.  
He set his bag down and began unpacking his meager belongings. He pulled out a painting of Uncle Iroh, gazing at the familiar face as he recalled the first time he’d visited the Western Air Temple…  
His wound throbbed angrily as he stood at the edge of the temple, looking out over the cliff.   
“If I have to, I will spend every day of the rest of my life hunting the Avatar. I know it’s my destiny to capture him.”  
“You know, Prince Zuko,” Uncle said, laying a hand on his shoulder, “Destiny is a funny thing. You never know how things are going to work out. But, if you keep an open mind, and an open heart, I promise you will find your own destiny someday.”  
Zuko smiled softly, emotion welling inside his chest. Uncle had been right, after all. About so many things.  
Quiet footsteps approached, and Zuko looked around to see Katara leaning in the doorway, arms crossed.   
“You might have everyone else here buying your ‘transformation’, but you and I both know you’ve struggled with doing the right thing in the past.” She strode up to him, blue eyes blazing, and got right in his face, “So let me tell you something right now – you make one step backward, one slip-up, give me one reason to think you might hurt Aang, and you won’t have to worry about your destiny any more. Because I’ll make sure your destiny ends, right then and there. Permanently.”   
She held his gaze for one more moment before leaving the room, slamming the door behind her, and Zuko stood there with a heavy, guilty feeling in his heart. Katara had every right to doubt him. He just hoped he could show her that he really had changed – that he would do anything to make up for betraying her in the past. 

The next day, Zuko and Aang met outside one of the temples after a rather tense breakfast. Zuko tried not to feel discouraged by the way everyone had eyed him, like he would lose it and start attacking them at any moment. Only Aang seemed to be able to relax and be himself around Zuko, something Zuko was both surprised and grateful for.   
The two benders stood facing each other, and Zuko searched for a way to begin. Aang was looking decidedly nervous, his shoulders hunched up to his ears and his hands clasped behind his back.   
“I know you’re nervous, but remember, fire-bending in and of itself is not something to fear.”  
Aang sighed, looking unconvinced. “Okay. Not something to fear.”  
“But, if you don’t respect it… it’ll chew you up and spit you out like an angry kimodo-rhino!” Zuko emphasized, not wanting Aang to grow careless either. Aang’s gray eyes widened and he looked even more worried. “Now, show me what you’ve got. Any amount of fire you can make.”   
Aang took a deep breath and stepped forward, thrusting his hand in front of him-  
-a small plume of smoke emerged, and nothing else. Aang shot Zuko a sheepish look.  
“Maybe I need a little more instruction. Perhaps a demonstration?”  
“Good idea,” Zuko said, trying not to smile. “You might want to take a couple steps back.” He inhaled and jumped into a fire-bending move, prepared for the column of flame to come roaring from his fist-  
-and just like Aang’s pathetic attempt, only a thin jet of fire shot out.  
“What was that?” Zuko exclaimed, “That was the worst fire-bending I’ve ever seen!”  
“I thought it was…nice!” Aang encouraged. Ignoring him, Zuko flew into a series of moves, each one again resulting in only the slightest amount of fire.   
“Ugh!” Zuko stared at his clenched fists, “Why is this happening?!”  
“Maybe it’s the altitude,” Aang suggested, rubbing his bald, arrowed head.   
“Yeah, could be…”  
Zuko kept trying, recalling every lesson he’d ever had, while Aang lounged around watching and looking bored.  
“Hey, that one kind of felt hot!”  
“Don’t patronize me !” Zuko said with the first real bit of anger he’d felt since leaving the fire nation. “You know what it’s supposed to look like!”   
“Sorry, Sifu-Hotman!”  
“And stop calling me that!”  
Just then, Sokka walked up, eating, as usual.   
“Hey jerks! Mind if I watch you two jerks do your jerk-bending?” He took an obnoxious bite of his apple, smirking.   
“Get out of here!” Zuko shouted, unfamiliar with Sokka’s particular brand of humor.  
“Okay, take it easy, I was just kidding around!” Sokka walked off, snickering to himself, “Ha, jerk-bending. Still got it.”   
Zuko buried his face in his hands with a groan. 

Later that night, Zuko steeled himself before joining the group around the fire.  
“Listen everybody, I’ve got some pretty bad news. I’ve lost my stuff.”  
“Don’t look at me!” Toph said, throwing her hands up, “I didn’t touch your stuff!”  
“I’m talking about my fire-bending,” Zuko said, rolling his golden eyes, “It’s gone.”  
To his shock and irritation, Katara began to laugh, and he raised an eyebrow at her.  
“I’m sorry, I’m just laughing at the irony,” she said with a grin, “You know, how it would have been nice for us if you’d lost your fire-bending a long time ago?”  
It felt nice to have Katara look at him with something other than distrust and dislike, even if it was humor at his expense. He felt a swooping sensation in his stomach as her blue eyes sparkled in his direction.   
“Well it’s not lost… just weaker for some reason.”  
“Maybe you’re just not as good as you think you are,” Katara smirked.  
“Ouch,” said Toph, and Zuko glared at the both of them.   
“Maybe it’s because I changed sides,” he grumbled.   
“That’s ridiculous,” said Katara, drinking her soup.  
“I don’t know,” Aang mused, “maybe your fire-bending comes from rage, and you just don’t have enough anger to fuel it the way you used to.”  
Sokka jumped up, grinning, “So we just need to make Zuko angry! Easy enough!” He poked Zuko in the side with his sheathed sword, giggling.  
“Okay, cut it out!” Zuko yelled, taking a threatening step towards Sokka, who shielded himself with his hands. Zuko sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and willing himself not to hit Sokka. “Look, even if you’re right, I don’t want to rely on hate and anger anymore. There has to be another way.”  
“You’re gonna need to learn to draw your fire-bending from a different source,” Toph explained, “I’d recommend the original source. Zuko needs to go back to whatever the original source of fire-bending is. For earth-bending, the original benders were badger-moles. I met them in the caves- they were blind, just like me, so we understood each other. I was able to learn earth-bending, not just as a martial art, but as an extension of my senses. For them, it wasn’t about fighting. It was their way of interacting with the world.”  
“That’s amazing, Toph! I learned from the monks, but the original air-benders were the sky-bison. Maybe you can give me a lesson sometime, buddy!” Aang called to Appa, who let out a good-natured roar.  
“Well, this doesn’t help me,” said Zuko dejectedly, “the original fire-benders were the dragons, and they’re extinct.”  
“What do you mean?” Aang asked, “Roku had a dragon, and there were plenty of dragons when I was a kid!”  
“Well they aren’t around anymore, okay!?” Zuko growled, and Aang held up his hands in a gesture of surrender.  
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.”  
Zuko inhaled, trying to calm his temper once again. The last thing he wanted to do was explain his family’s personal responsibility for the extinction of the dragons.  
“The only other option would be the ancient Sun-Warriors. They died off a long time ago, but their civilization isn’t too far from where we are now. Maybe we can learn something by poking around their ruins. Either I learn a new way to fire-bend, or the Avatar has to find a new teacher.”  
Everyone gazed at each other over the flickering flames of the fire.  
“I guess we have no choice,” Aang said. “We’ll head out in the morning.”


	2. Chapter 2

_-Katara-_

Katara shaded her eyes and watched as Appa disappeared into the morning sun, carrying Aang and Zuko. She couldn’t believe that she’d allowed Aang to set off alone with the Fire Prince. What were they all thinking, trusting Zuko? Hadn’t he already displayed how easy it was for him to betray them?

“Don’t worry, Katara,” Toph piped up from behind her. “I really think Zuko is on our side now. And even if this is some kind of elaborate trap and Zuko is so good at lying that he can control his own heartbeat, Aang can take care of himself.”

“Azula could do it, and Zuko is her brother. Who’s to say he isn’t fooling us all, even you? I should have gone with them.”

“Zuko isn’t that good of a liar. Don’t you remember how awkward he was when he was trying to convince us to let him join the group? Besides, if he _could_ control his heartbeat, it wouldn’t start racing every time he sees you.”

“ _What?”_ Katara whirled around to stare at Toph, whose sightless, pale green eyes were eerily focused on her. “What are you talking about?”

“Exactly what I said. Whenever you’re in the room, he has a reaction. I don’t know what it means, since I can’t read minds, but I feel it every time. He’s either terrified or attracted to you.”

“There’s no _way_ he’s attracted to me. I did threaten him about hurting Aang, so that’s probably what it is.” Katara insisted heatedly, grateful that Toph couldn’t see the blush spreading across her cheeks, but painfully aware of the sudden pounding of her own heart. Zuko, attracted to her? As if she needed another complication in her life.

“Yeah, maybe,” Toph said, “Or maybe Aang has some competition!” she laughed, and Katara groaned in embarrassment. Was nothing private anymore?

“What are you girls giggling about over here?” Sokka waltzed over, twirling his boomerang.

“I’m not giggling!” Katara griped, beyond irritated with the direction the conversation had taken. “I’m anxious about Aang being off alone with Zuko.”

“Stop _worrying_ so much, Katara. Aang is 112 years old, I think he can handle one angsty teenage Fire Prince. Especially one who’s fire-bending is on the fritz.” Sokka threw himself down and sighed. “At least they’re being productive. All we get to do is sit around and watch Toph pick her toes.”

“Well you _could_ go find us something to eat while I’m doing that, O Great and Mighty Hunter.” Toph stuck her tongue out, “Nobody said you had to watch!”

“Fine!” Sokka heaved himself up again and stomped off, muttering under his breath.

Toph wandered off, apparently done taunting Katara for the moment, and Haru and the boys set off to continue exploring the temple. Katara settled at the edge of the overhang, staring down at her legs dangling into empty space.

Katara felt slightly sick to her stomach. She hoped Zuko really was just scared of her, because the idea of the mercurial fire-bender feeling anything else for her was terrifying. She was already confused enough knowing Aang had feelings for her, and they had yet to talk about their kiss on the day of black sun. She couldn’t handle another powerful bender – especially one she didn’t trust - vying for her affection when they should all just be concentrating on the battle ahead. This was a war! Katara exhaled angrily, shaking her head to dispel the cloud of confusion hanging around her, and rose to go make herself useful instead of worrying about boys.

Hours later, as the blood-red sun was sinking in the horizon and the squirrel-rabbit Sokka had caught was roasting over the fire, they heard a distant roar. Katara had been practicing water-bending in the fountain, but at the sound she let the water fall with a splash and bounded over to search the skies.

“There they are!” Sokka pointed to the west, and they all cheered as Appa came soaring out of the fading sunlight. He landed with a great thud, and Katara ran forward to embrace Aang as he leapt down lightly, barely affected by gravity as usual.

“Aang!” She exclaimed, “Are you okay? Did you find what you were looking for?” Aang blushed, smiling up at her, and she quickly let go, feeling uncomfortable.

“Yes!” Zuko said, sliding down Appa’s side and looking around at them all with excited, blazing golden eyes. Was it Katara’s imagination, or did his gaze linger on her for just a moment longer?

As Aang and Zuko showed off their new fire-bending dance, Katara’s eyes were drawn to him. Despite her reservations about the Fire Prince, she had to admit that he moved with confidence and ferocity, a sense of strength that Aang’s lithe, weightless form didn’t possess. As they moved through the last step of the dance, Zuko seemed to sense her looking at him, and he shot her an unreadable look from the corner of his eyes. Katara met his gaze stonily, giving nothing away, but as the group clapped politely and broke up to get ready for dinner, she went up to him.

“Yes?” Zuko looked at her warily, and she willed herself not to blush as Toph’s words once again ran through her head.

_Whenever you’re in the room, he has a reaction. Every time he sees you. He’s either attracted or terrified._

“I just wanted to say… not that this means I trust you… but thanks for bringing Aang back safely.” Katara blurted, eager to get the words out and escape his searching, intense stare.

“You don’t have to thank me for that,” he murmured. “The Avatar doesn’t need anyone taking care of him.”

“I know that’s what most people would believe… but everyone needs taking care of, sometimes. Even the Avatar… or a Fire Prince.” Katara smirked slightly, and felt a thrill of triumph when he smiled, rolling his eyes. After a year of Zuko chasing them like an angry psycho, it was comforting to see him express normal human emotion. Maybe he really was changing. Katara wasn’t about to give him a free pass, but the fact that Zuko and Aang had returned without bringing the entire Fire Nation down on them was definitely a point in his favor. After all, their little field trip would have been the perfect opportunity for Zuko to betray them.

“Come on, you guys! Food’s ready!” Toph yelled suddenly, and both of them jumped. Sokka, Teo, Haru, and the Duke were already digging in, but Aang was watching the two of them. Katara smiled at him, and a grin spread across his face like the dawn breaking. They walked over to join the group, and everyone listened attentively as Zuko and Aang went into more detail about what had happened while they were gone. Katara noticed that the two of them seemed to have bonded over the course of their adventure, if the ease with which they interacted was any indication. She marveled that two boys who were so very different could manage to get along, even become friends. Aang was all light and sweetness, Zuko full of darkness and self-flagellation, but somehow they had connected and were able to rely on each other when they faced the fire-bending masters.

It made her a little jealous. She and Aang had always had a special friendship, from the very beginning, and she felt resentful towards him for accepting Zuko so easily, after everything he’d done. Granted, the Fire Prince probably needed a friend, but that didn’t mean he shouldn’t have to work for it. Katara recalled his anxious rambling when he was trying to join them, and felt slightly mollified that at least he’d been aware of how difficult it would be for them to accept him, especially her. He knew he’d done the wrong things in the past. Katara supposed that counted for something. She wasn’t ready to forgive him, but she did understand him. Toph had had a point when she’d brought up Zuko’s messed-up childhood. It was amazing he had any self-awareness at all.

If anyone noticed her distraction during dinner, they didn’t say anything. Katara returned to the fountain afterwards, still wrestling with her resentment towards Zuko and the accompanying feeling of sympathy for the tortured boy. The anger she felt towards him couldn’t be resolved overnight, no matter how sorry he was. She’d already taken pity on him once before, and look how that had turned out!

Katara growled, slapping the water and creating tiny waves, which she manipulated into one roaring column, raising her arms above her head to maintain it. It was too early to make a decision about Zuko anyway, so she might as well stop agonizing over him until he showed his true colors. She would just have to be prepared in case he betrayed them once again.

She let the water fall, enjoying the cool mist against her skin, and stripped down to her underclothing before slipping into the familiar weightlessness of her element. Nothing soothed her like the caress of water on her body, and she felt her heart rate slow as she floated, gazing into the endless night sky.

Katara didn’t know how long she remained there, her mind still for once, but at some point during the night, long after the chatter in camp had ceased and everyone had headed off to bed, she heard the rumble of male voices. She poked her head over the edge of the fountain, curious, and saw a shadow standing by Appa, gesturing to someone above him in the saddle. They were clearly agitated, and after a moment the person on Appa jumped down to join them. A sliver of moonlight had passed over the figure as they jumped, and with a jolt of unease, Katara recognized the flash of raven-black hair and burgundy clothing.

It was Zuko.

Instantly suspicious, Katara slid out of the fountain as quietly as she could, bending the water off her body before pulling her clothes on. Zuko and the other person were heading away from Appa now, almost out of sight, and Katara stole silently after them. They were headed towards Zuko’s war balloon, a fact that did nothing to comfort her.

Katara poked her head out from behind the pillar, squinting into the shadows, and finally recognized the other figure as her brother, his warrior’s ponytail visible in the dappled moonlight. What were they up to? Was it Sokka’s turn for a field trip with Zuko? Where would Sokka need to go? Katara decided to give them a little scare as revenge for trying to sneak off, and she crept closer, using the pillars for cover. When she was near enough, she leapt out and grabbed Sokka from behind. He yelped and fell over in a heap, getting snarled in the lines he’d been untangling a moment before, and Katara couldn’t help giggling at the shock on his face. Zuko, on the other hand, hadn’t so much as flinched. He just stood there, rubbing his scar – something Katara had noticed he did when he was nervous or uncomfortable.  

“Katara!” Sokka said in a hushed voice, “What are you doing here?”

“I should be asking you that!” Katara rolled her eyes and turned to Zuko, who raised his eyebrows at her. “Where do you think you’re taking my brother?”

“Actually, he was trying to sneak off by himself to go rescue your father from a high-security Fire Nation prison – did you want me to let him go alone?” Zuko asked, shrugging. Katara’s jaw dropped, then snapped shut when Zuko gave her a smug little smile.

“So your solution was to go with him?! Why wouldn’t you stop him?”

“I _tried,_ but bull-headedness seems to run in the family!” he protested.

“Hey!” Sokka cut in, “Katara, I _have_ to try and rescue Dad. It was my fault that he was captured in the first place, and my plan that totally failed. I have to restore my honor.”

“Well, I guess I know how you convinced Zuko, Prince of Lost Honor, to go with you on this suicide mission!” Katara said sardonically. Zuko glared at her, his face flushed scarlet, and Sokka snorted in amusement.

“Well, yeah,” he said, grinning sheepishly, “That might have had something to do with it.”

“Enough!” Zuko cleared his throat, still blushing. “Are we doing this before the whole camp wakes up, or not?”

“Please, Katara?” Sokka clasped his hands together, blue eyes pleading, “Will you let us go?”

Katara sighed. The thought of her father in some awful Fire Nation prison had kept her awake at night ever since the failed invasion. She could understand how Sokka, who had made the decision to proceed with the plan even when things were looking bad, would feel personally responsible.

“Okay,” she said, and Sokka practically collapsed in relief. Zuko examined her with his slanted, golden eyes like he couldn’t believe his ears.

“But I’m going with you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who commented! This is my first fanfic, so it's all very exciting. I'm planning on making it a slow burn Zutara story so I hope you guys are in it for the long haul! Oh and I apologize for the short chapter, but I really wanted the next part to be Katara's point of view. Enjoy!

_-Zuko-_

“No!”

The word flew from his lips before he was even conscious of speaking. Sokka looked shocked, while Katara immediately put her hands on her hips and stared at him with fury plain in her clear, azure eyes.

“Why not?!” She demanded. “You’ll need all the help you can get if you expect to come back alive, and I _am_ a master water-bender!”

“It’s too dangerous!” Zuko should have known that was the wrong thing to say, but he’d felt immediate panic at the prospect of Katara going anywhere near the prison.

“Oh, but it was okay when Sokka wanted to go?” She took a threatening step forward, hands balled into fists. “This had better not be about me being a girl!”

“No, I already told him this was a bad idea! The prison is in the middle of a volcano, an island surrounded by a boiling lake! The only reason I’m going is because I couldn’t stop him, and there’s no way he’ll be able to do it alone.”

“Then you should be grateful that I offered to come along! You’re going to need my help to get across the lake if something goes wrong!”

“We have the war balloon!” Zuko jabbed a finger at it.

“Uh, actually, Zuko…” Sokka interjected, looking guilty, “The war balloon is probably only enough to get us close. The hot air inside the volcano will make it sink.” He dug a toe into the ground, avoiding Zuko’s eyes.

“What?!” Zuko blew up. “When were you planning on telling me this?! _After_ we arrived at the highest-security prison in the Fire Nation?!”

“Um…”

“Well, that settles it.” Katara crossed her arms smugly. “I _have_ to come.”

Zuko groaned, recognizing he’d lost this battle.

“Fine. Let’s get going before the whole camp wakes up.”

 

The silence aboard the war balloon was thick with tension. Sokka lounged at one end of the basket, Katara was perched on the edge of the other, and Zuko stood between them, blasting the furnace at regular intervals to keep the balloon afloat. Something about being in such close quarters stifled casual conversation, although every once in a while Sokka would open his mouth, pause, and exhale gustily before continuing to stare out over the horizon.

Zuko noticed Katara glance around at him on more than one occasion, and he couldn’t help stealing looks at her, too. One of her arms was twisted securely around the cable tethers, her waves of dark brown hair whipped back by the wind. Zuko wished he could read her expression – her emotions were usually so visible in her eyes, but now they reflected nothing but the wide expanse of the blue sky. At least she didn’t look worried, although she _should_ be. Zuko knew the difficulties facing them more clearly, but the Water Tribe siblings couldn’t be that oblivious to the risks involved in this mission.

 _What have I gotten myself into?_  Zuko wondered morosely. _I’m risking my life for people I was chasing a few months ago._ He glanced at Katara again to find her blue eyes searching his face, and though her coffee-colored cheeks reddened slightly, she didn’t break the contact.

“What?” He asked her self-consciously.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“All of this. You could have just let Sokka go risk his neck alone, but you didn’t. Is this just another way to gain our trust?” Katara tilted her head, seeming more curious than accusatory. Zuko snorted.

“Pretty dumb plan if it is. Uncle always told me that I rushed into things without thinking them through first, but this is really crazy. The Boiling Rock is supposed to be inescapable.”

“Right. So why did you come with us?”

Zuko sighed. “Because it was the right thing to do. I chose my path. I’m not going to turn my back on it now.” It was true. This was the least he could do, after everything he’d put their little group through.

Katara was silent for a moment, and in the quiet Sokka’s snores were audible.

“Was it hard?” She asked softly, drawing closer to him. Zuko tried not to let her see how her nearness affected him, but it was difficult to tear his eyes away from her. He’d always thought Katara was fierce, and brave – even when she was his enemy, he’d admired her for never backing down. But now, with the breeze tugging her hair and the inquisitive expression on her face, he couldn’t help recognizing the beauty in her as well. Especially since he’d never thought she would look at him with anything resembling a positive emotion.

Zuko realized Katara was waiting for his answer, and he cleared his throat uncomfortably.

“Was what hard?”

“Leaving your home, your family, everything you’d ever known?”

“No.”

“Really? You didn’t leave behind anyone you cared about?”

“Well, I did have a girlfriend. Mai.” Zuko smiled slightly, but almost immediately frowned as he imagined again how Mai must have felt when she’d found his letter. “Everyone in the Fire Nation thinks I’m a traitor now. I couldn’t drag her into that.”

“Are you talking about that gloomy girl with the throwing knives?” Katara smiled, raising her eyebrows. Zuko nodded. “Wow, she doesn’t seem like your type at all. No offense.”

“What do you mean?” Zuko asked, a little indignantly.

“I don’t know…” she hesitated. “I guess I figured you’d need someone with a little more… fire.” Katara wrinkled her nose at the irony. “You know, cuz you’re so hot-headed.”

Zuko grinned, amused. “That’s a lot of fire-bending references.” Katara stuck her tongue out. “But I see your point. Not that it matters, anymore. I’m sure she hates me for leaving her. Especially to help the Avatar.”

“Maybe, when this is all over, she’ll understand.”

“Yeah, maybe…” Standing here with Katara, Zuko wasn’t sure he even wanted Mai to forgive him. He was trying to save the Fire Nation’s honor, not destroy it, and if Mai couldn’t see that… “It’s Uncle I really worry about. He loved me and supported me the way my father should have, and I threw it all back in his face.”

“He’d be proud of you.” Katara said firmly. “You did the right thing, all on your own.”

Zuko stared at her, his heart lodged in his throat. Was it possible that Katara was starting to believe in him? She looked embarrassed, avoiding his eyes, and he didn’t know what to say.

“I… thank you for that. I hope you’re right.”

“Me too,” she said quietly, and Zuko dropped his gaze, discomfited by her response. A cloud of mist rising from the sea caught his attention.

“There it is!” He exclaimed. Sokka woke with a yelp, looking around blearily. “There’s plenty of steam to keep us covered. As long as we’re quiet, we should be able to navigate through it without being caught.”

Just as expected, as soon as they hit the steam, the war balloon began to sink. Zuko sent burst after burst of fire into the furnace, attempting to slow their descent, and Katara manipulated the water droplets in the air to guide the balloon towards the shore surrounding the prison. The heavy steam pressed in on them from all sides, making it hard to breathe as it concealed them.

“What do we do?” Katara asked Sokka, who shrugged.

“I don’t know, crash landing?”

“Oh, great plan!” Zuko growled, breathing hard as he continuously alternated between attending to the furnace and blasting fire into the open hole of the balloon.

“Hey, you’re the one who insisted on coming along! My plans haven’t always exactly worked, so this time, I thought I’d play it by ear-“ Sokka was cut off as the balloon abruptly came to a skidding, bouncing stop, throwing all three of them from the basket.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to apologize for the short chapter, the next one will be longer! Right now I'm posting chapters that I've already written, so that much I can promise. Currently working on chapter 10 just to give you an idea of how far along I am. Enjoy!

_-Katara-_

 

“Ugh,” Sokka groaned as he pushed himself up. “You guys okay?”

“Yeah,” Katara stood up, brushing herself off, and looked around, suddenly worried. “Where’s Zuko?”

Sokka jumped to his feet and joined her as they called Zuko’s name in hushed tones. The war balloon lay half in, half out of the water, steaming gently. They peered through the mist, searching for any sign of the missing prince, and almost immediately came upon a bare, pale-skinned arm extending from underneath the drenched balloon. Katara threw her arm out with a gasp, bending the water on the balloon in order to fling it back, revealing the motionless fire-bender.

“Is he-?” Sokka whispered, sounding fearful.

Katara dropped to her knees and curled her fingers around Zuko’s neck, terrified by the lifelessness of his face. She almost sagged in relief when she felt the comforting throb of his heartbeat.

“He’s alive,” she breathed, looking up – Sokka was staring down at Zuko.

“Look, Katara!”

The angry, shiny red patches on Zuko’s white skin stood out like blood on snow, and Katara couldn’t believe she hadn’t noticed them instantly. Small chunks of coal appeared seared to his clothing in places, and his fingertips had an unpleasant, blackened look.

“The furnace was open when we hit the ground. The crash must have knocked it into him, or he lost control of his bending and it rebounded…” Sokka looked horrified.

“It’s okay, I don’t think it’s life-threatening. I’m more worried about why he’s unconscious. He must have hit his head.” Katara ran her fingers through his drenched black hair, surprised by its silky texture.  A few inches behind his left ear, she came upon a swollen knot of tissue and felt the thick stickiness of blood. She swallowed painfully, guiding water from her pouch and resting her water-encased hands on his injury. The water began glowing an eerie, ethereal blue, and Katara felt the energy leave her body as the wound shrank and sealed. A weight lifted off her shoulders when a blush of color returned to his cheeks, his lips....   

“Okay, do his burns now. His hands look really bad.” Sokka hurried her, his head swiveling as he kept an eye out. Every moment they spent here was risking discovery.

Katara grasped one of his hands and laid hers against it, slightly grateful that Zuko wasn’t conscious for this, so she wouldn’t have to feel his eyes on her as she touched him. Something about those golden, scorching eyes made her feel like he could see right through her. If he could, he’d see her heart pumping furiously in her chest, the warmth in her cheeks, and the fear in her breathing.

Katara hadn’t fully appreciated how reassuring Zuko’s presence was until he was knocked out and vulnerable on the ground in front of her. Despite all the humbling changes he’d experienced, he’d retained the gifts of growing up a prince, as well as an outcast; the capacity to make decisions, quickly, and the confidence to see them through. Even through all the doubts and wrong turns, he held onto his faith in himself, and his abilities.    

For the first time, Katara saw it as something other than arrogance and pride as she glided her healing hands down his toned arms, noticing the numerous scars crisscrossing his skin.  Zuko had been essentially on his own, with no one but his Uncle to look out for him, for years. No wonder the situations their little gang found themselves in didn’t seem to faze him much. He’d probably gotten out of worse binds than this.

Which was why Katara really, really wanted him to wake up.

After the last burn had been smoothed into unblemished ivory skin, she trickled water on his face, feeling exhausted from the all the healing, as Sokka struggled to shove the busted war balloon into the boiling lake. He returned dripping with sweat and gasping for air, kneeling down beside them.

“Is he awake yet? We really need to get going. I don’t know if they have guards patrol out here or not.”

“Almost,” Katara gave up on the trickles and let a large splash of water spill onto Zuko’s face – he immediately jerked and coughed, his gilded cat-like eyes snapping open in shock as he tried to make sense of his surroundings. Katara pushed him into an upright position and pounded his back, until his ragged breathing cleared somewhat and he rasped, “Stop!”

He ignored the two of them as they eyed him worriedly, stretching his arms and legs before getting to his feet with a quiet huff of air.

“How do you feel?” Katara asked anxiously. “I healed your burns and the bump on your head. Does anything else hurt?”

“No,” he slicked back his hair, water trickling down his neck. His scar stood out vividly, like a wine-red wave rolling across his left eye and ear. Katara was struck by its chilling appearance, as always. A constant reminder of the cruelty Zuko had suffered at the hands of his own father. _How could a man do that to his own child?_

“Except my throat,” Zuko added hoarsely, noticing her focused stare with unease in his eyes. Katara dropped her gaze at once, embarrassed. “Is there any water?”

“Yeah, here, and then we gotta go. We’ve been here way too long!” Sokka was getting more nervous by the minute, thrusting his water pouch at Zuko and still keeping a constant look-out. Zuko drained it in two, long swallows and then had another coughing fit.

“Okay, let’s go,” he croaked, and led them around the rocky base of the prison. As Katara followed close behind, with Sokka watching their back, Zuko slowed a bit and caught Katara’s eye with a shockingly soft expression.  
            “Yes?” she whispered, hoping the thick steam would somewhat conceal her reddening cheeks. How could a simple look cause her heart to pound so hard? It was just _Zuko,_ she’d seen him a million times… stubborn, angry, frustrated, confused, desperate, bitter…

“Thank you,” he murmured huskily, eyes brimming with warmth, and Katara nodded, her pulse hammering in her throat.

“It was nothing.” Katara said, her unsteady voice betraying her words. She’d been truly afraid when she’d seen Zuko’s lifeless form on the ground.

“No, it wasn’t. I might have died without you here.” Zuko kept his eyes on his feet, adding, “I’m glad you came,” in a shy whisper. Katara hardly recognized him in that moment – so much of Zuko was hard and angry and proud, and now he walked beside her with grace and humility.

Katara couldn’t deny that the hard core of hate in her belly was softening towards him, but she still didn’t know if she could let go of the past. The kind of mistakes he’d made left their mark on a person.

_Maybe the kind that don’t wash off._ Katara thought miserably, watching his nimble movements as they continued to creep along the wall. After another hundred feet, Zuko crouched down, motioning to the other two to stay, and practically molded his body to the mountain as he slid towards a metal door set into the stone. He pressed his ear to the door, then frantically waved them over – _hurry!_

She and Sokka shared a fortifying glance, then bolted for the door, slipping after Zuko as he moved stealthily down the creaky metal hallway behind it. They took one right and the next two lefts, ears pricked for footsteps, until Zuko found the room he was looking for – one stocked with prison guard uniforms.

They each tracked down their sizes, and Katara blushed as the boy’s outer clothes came off. She turned away, face burning, and hurried into her own uniform. She wished she could banish the sight of the taut muscles of Zuko’s stomach, the perfect V of his upper body, those broad shoulders…

Katara snorted in irritation – _get it together_ – and tried to bring her breathing back under control as she tied her hair back and fit the helmet over her flushed face. Why oh _why_ did he bring out such a physical response in her? She supposed she’d always been a state of tension around him in the past, what with his habit of chasing them all over the world… but Zuko was on their side now, right? No danger, no threat… so why was her heart pounding like he was holding a knife to her throat?

_If he could control his heartbeat, it wouldn’t start racing every time he sees you._ Toph’s words whirled through her head again, but Katara forced herself to focus on the situation at hand.

They filed out of the room, trying to look casual.

“I hope these disguises work,” Zuko said as he straightened Sokka’s armor with a quick tug.

“We just need to lay low and find my dad as soon as possible,” Sokka whispered back, brushing Zuko’s hands away.

Just then, a group of guards ran past their hallway – one caught sight of them and gestured for them to follow, shouting, “Guards! There’s a scuffle in the yard. Come on.”

They looked at each other, then ran after the guards. In the yard, the prisoners were gathered in a ring around the edge of the compound, dressed in ragged, burgundy clothing. The guards pushed through to the center, and Katara saw one of the prisoners facing yet another guard.

“I didn’t do anything! I’m going back to my cell!” The man was easily twice the size of the bearded guard glowering at him, and he turned his back to walk away.

A whip of crackling fire curled through the air around the prisoner. “Stop right there, Chit Sang.”

Katara felt Zuko shift beside her, about to step forward, but she and Sokka grabbed his arms simultaneously.

“We can’t blow our cover!” Sokka whispered. Zuko’s jaw clenched, blazing eyes locked on the abuse in front of them, and Katara felt something flutter in her chest at the sight of his furious expression.

“I’ve had it with your unruly behavior!” the guard snarled at Chit Sang, who stood his ground.

“What did I do?” he demanded indignantly.

“He wants to know what he _did,”_ the guard smirked, turning to the rest of them. “Isn’t that cute?”

Nobody said anything, and the guard glared expectantly.

“Uh, very cute, sir” Katara deadpanned. Zuko was stiff as a board beside her, and she willed him to stay calm.

“Super cute,” Sokka added, voice cracking slightly. Seeming satisfied, the guard turned back to Chit Sang and got right in his face.

“You didn’t bow down when I walked by, Chit Sang!”

“What? That’s not a prison rule!”

“Do it!” the guard practically spat.

“Make me.”

The guard made as if to walk away, and Chit Sang began to do the same – but the guard almost immediately whirled around and lashed out with another whip of fire. Katara gasped in horror as Chit Sang just barely managed to block it, catching the fire in his hands before redirecting it back towards the other man, who dispersed the flames with a swift kick.

“Tsk, tsk,” said the guard, a cruel smile twisting his face. “Fire-bending is prohibited. You’re going in the cooler.”  He picked Sokka out of the crowd. “You! Help me take him in.”

“Meet back here in an hour,” Sokka whispered quickly over his shoulder as he ran after the guard and Chit Sang.

Katara and Zuko exchanged dismayed looks. Getting separated in a place like this seemed like a bad idea, but there was nothing they could do as Sokka disappeared into the building. Katara felt the panic rising in her chest, suddenly hyper-aware of just how vulnerable and outnumbered they were. Zuko took one look at her and somehow recognized the signs of a person about to go to pieces.

“Hey,” he wrapped a hesitant hand around her elbow and pulled her towards the edge of the crowd, which was beginning to disband now that the show was over.

“Relax, Katara. We’re not prisoners. We’re two powerful benders. Plus Sokka.”

Only the lower half of his face was visible as he grinned down at her, his hand still burning in the crook of her elbow, and she fixated on his curling mouth as a distraction.

“Yeah,” Katara said after a deep, calming breath. “I know. But this is still a dangerous situation, master benders or not. We need to be careful.”

“That’s true.” Zuko agreed, looking thoughtful. “Though I’m definitely the most recognizable of us. Sokka is most likely safer alone.”

“What, does everyone in the Fire Nation know what the prince looks like?”

“No,” Zuko murmured, his voice barely audible, his hand slipping from her arm. “It’s the scar. Apparently it’s pretty distinctive.”

Katara instantly felt terrible. She hadn’t even considered his scar.

“I’m so sorry, I forgot all about it.”

“You forgot?” He queried dubiously.

“Yes?” Katara shrugged. “It’s part of who you are. The only time I think about it is to be furious that your own father did that to you.”

Zuko gave her a loaded look, fraught with pain and sorrow, tempered by joy and gratitude.  

“Let’s go find your father.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone loves this chapter like I do. Let me know if anything seems too OOC because that aspect is super important to me! Enjoy!

_-Zuko-_

Zuko kept an eye on Katara as they made their way through the maze of identical hallways. Her face had visibly paled when Sokka had left them behind. He couldn’t see her eyes in the dim, flickering lighting inside, but her lips were set in an anxious scowl.

“You have to loosen up,” Zuko whispered as they followed a group of guards, hoping for an opportunity to question them. “You’re going to give us away!”

“I guess I’m just not as good at faking as you are!” Katara snapped in a low, irritated voice. Zuko didn’t reply, resisting the impulse to snap back– she’d been almost friendly since they’d left camp, and he wasn’t about to ruin it by giving into his temper.

He could feel her looking at him.

“I’m sorry.” The words were grudging, but she seemed sincere. “I’m just really worried about Sokka. And us, for that matter.”

“I understand. But we’ve come too far to retreat now. We came here to rescue your father, and that’s what we’re going to do.” Zuko returned her gaze steadily, just barely catching a hint of blue in the shadows of her helmet. He remembered what his mother had told him on the night she’d left. “Don’t forget who you are. You travelled the world with the Avatar, evaded the Fire Nation, became a master water-bender, and kept a group of boys plus Toph from killing each other the whole time. You can do this.”

Katara’s face was a glowing cherry-red by the time he’d finished, with an open-mouthed look of shock. Zuko felt inappropriate laughter welling up inside his chest. It wasn’t like he was telling her anything she didn’t already know. Or had she never expected him to recognize her value? He wondered if he should be offended, but mostly just felt a sense of satisfaction as she struggled for words.

“Um… thank you, Zuko,” she mumbled, studiously avoiding looking at him.

“No thanks needed. It’s the truth. Now, let’s – “

Just then, the group of guards they’d been following trooped into a wide, low room filled with tables. The dining hall. Zuko held back, struck with a sudden thought.

“I was just thinking…”

“Yes?”

“Maybe we should split up. That way we don’t stick out too much, and if something goes wrong one of us can still get away.”

“I’m not going to leave you behind!” Katara said hotly. Zuko swallowed a smile, feeling a warm thrill of pleasure at her words.

“That wasn’t what I meant. Just that if only one of us is captured, the other has a chance at rescuing them, as opposed to if we were both discovered.”

“Oh.” Katara blinked. “Well… that’s fine, then.”

“Good. Just act natural. Pretend you belong here.”

“No, thanks! I’d rather lose an eye!” Katara grimaced, wrinkling her nose. Zuko snorted quietly, amused.

“I’m not talking about a lifetime commitment, here. Just fake it for ten minutes!”

“Fine,” Katara muttered crossly. “Let’s get this over with.”

“Okay. I’ll go in first. Find a table with some talkative guards. They tend to gossip, so you won’t exactly have to press them for information.”

“They sound like a bunch of old women.” Katara rolled her eyes. “Okay, go. I’ll be right behind you.”

Zuko entered the dining hall and got in line, listening to the guards chatting around him as the smell of lunch made his stomach growl hungrily. A few minutes later, Katara came in with a couple of women guards who seemed to have taken her under their wing. They talked and laughed cozily behind him in line, in that confidential way all women seemed to. _She didn’t even have to try!_  Zuko thought indignantly. He took his steaming tray of food and glanced around, looking for a likely table to sit at.

“Hey, new guy!” A man at a nearby table waved at him. “I know it’s the rule to have your helmet on at all times, but this is the lounge. Relax.”

“But what if there’s an incident?” Zuko faked an earnest tone. “If I’m not prepared, someone could strike me on the head.”

The man and his two companions broke into raucous laughter.

“Give it a week, he’ll loosen up,” the brunette woman rolled her eyes at the others.

“Can the new guy ask you veterans a few questions about the prison?”

“No. You can’t date the female guards,” the woman said with a smirk.

“Trust me,” the man who had first spoken leaned towards Zuko. “You don’t want to.”

The woman immediately lobbed her half-full cup at him and the others chuckled as tea dripped down the man’s face. Zuko had to actually wipe the grin off his face before he could speak.

“No, that’s not it. The Boiling Rock, it holds the Fire Nation’s most dangerous criminals, right?” The guards nodded. “So what about war prisoners?”

Zuko listened attentively as they mused and compared rumors, dispensing juicy details about prisoners from Omashu and rebels from Ba Sing Se, traitors, and a multitude of random cases where all the person did to get thrown in prison was stand up to the Fire Nation. No mention of any Water Tribe prisoners, no rumors that one was on the way.

Katara caught his eye from a few tables away as she rose and waved goodbye, smiling at her newfound friends. Zuko finished off his last few bites before slipping away from the table. The conversing guards didn’t even notice.

Out in the hallway, Katara was steaming. Zuko approached cautiously, wary of the fury on her face when she’d been smiling only moments ago.

“Everything okay?” he asked from a safe distance.

“No! How can they act like they’re just normal people? Having a grand old time while hundreds of prisoners suffer around them? It’s sick!” Katara clenched her fists, glaring. Zuko shrugged.

“What’s their other option? Get thrown in prison themselves? Feeling sympathy for the prisoners would be seen as a sign of weakness. And weakness isn’t tolerated in the Fire Nation,” Zuko said grimly. He had firsthand knowledge of that fact.

“What a horrible place to grow up,” Katara shuddered, shooting him a pitying look.

“There were good things too,” Zuko objected, feeling a need to defend his culture. “The Fire Nation focuses on strength, and discipline, which are necessary tools in life, and especially in fire-bending. But we also need balance. Uncle taught me that.” He went quiet, feeling the familiar ache of loss. He missed Uncle Iroh more than he’d ever thought possible.

“It still amazes me how different your uncle is from the rest of your family. How did the brother of the Fire Lord end up so… good?”

“He’s been through a lot. But we don’t have time to get into Uncle’s backstory. Did you hear anything about your father?”

“No,” Katara sighed, her entire body seeming to deflate before his eyes. “You?”

“Nothing. I’m so sorry, Katara.”

“We came all this way for nothing…” Katara whispered, bowing her head in defeat. Tears dripped from her chin, and Zuko felt the sight of them twist like a dagger in his stomach. He hated that there was nothing he could do to fix this, but if Hakoda wasn’t here, he wasn’t here, and they needed to retreat while they still could.

“Come on. Let’s go find Sokka.”

 

They made their way back out into the prison yard, hoping Sokka would be here by now. Zuko noticed a lone guard with bronzed skin looking out over the wall above them, and he nudged Katara, nodding towards him. They climbed the metal stairs together and Zuko sidled up beside him, trying to be inconspicuous.

“Hey there, fellow guard, how goes it?”

The wiry guard peeked over his shoulder and lifted his helmet’s visor, blue eyes glaringly obvious in the torch light.

“Zuko?”   

“Shhh!” Zuko looked around anxiously as Katara joined them. “Listen, we asked around at lunch. There are no Water Tribe prisoners. I’m afraid your father’s not here.”

“What?!” Sokka swiveled his head between the two of them frantically. “Are you sure?! Did you double-check?!”

“Yeah, we’re sure.” Katara replied bleakly.

“No. No!” Sokka turned away and beat his fists against the wall in frustration. “This is all my fault. I failed. Again. I risked your lives for nothing.”

“Uh…” Zuko searched for some reassuring words. What would Uncle say? Some kind of nonsensical proverb, no doubt. “Sometimes, clouds have two sides… a dark, and a light, and a silver lining in between. It’s like a silver sandwich! So… when life seems hard… take a bite out of the silver sandwich.”

“Was that supposed to cheer us up?” Katara rolled her eyes with a hint of a smile, and Zuko felt a quiver of triumph. Sokka had an expression of joyous disbelief on his face.

“Maybe we haven’t failed after all!” He exclaimed, grabbing the railing as he peered at the crowd excitedly.

“That’s the spirit!” Zuko folded his arms, stunned. “I can’t believe that worked. I didn’t even know what I was saying.”

“No, what you said made no sense at all,” Sokka said dismissively as Katara raised her eyes to the heavens. “But look!” He pointed. “It’s Suki!”


	6. Chapter 6

_-Katara-_

Sokka was practically bubbling with happiness. Katara was glad they’d found the Kyoshi Warrior, but waves of despair still washed over her as they followed Suki from a distance in order to find her cell. They’d come all this way and broken into a high-security prison without even a hint as to their father’s whereabouts. _At least we can still save one person. Too bad we can’t rescue all the other people who are in jail or worse because of us._ Another wave, this one saturated with guilt, swelled in her chest.

When they finally saw Suki enter her cell, they killed time pretending to socialize. It was strange to hear Zuko speak to Sokka like they were old friends. Katara couldn’t help smiling when Zuko nudged Sokka and made a suggestive remark about the kind of “thank you” Sokka was probably about to receive from Suki, and although the tips of Sokka’s ears turned radish red, he looked pleased. Katara suddenly realized that Sokka had never even had a guy his own age to joke around with. It had always just been the two of them, and you don’t make those kinds of jokes with your sister. _Poor Sokka. We both need to get a life after this war is finally over._   

As soon as the last footsteps had faded away, Sokka slipped into the cell while Katara and Zuko remained outside as look-outs.

   Katara felt Zuko’s eyes on her as they waited, but she avoided his gaze. She didn’t feel like talking. She just wanted to rescue Suki and get out of this miserable place.

“We’ll find your dad, Katara.” Zuko said reassuringly, but his soothing tone only caused her eyes to sting with unshed tears.

“We don’t have time to go all over the world looking for him. This was our one shot, and he’s not here. We blew it.” Katara folded her arms, trying to hold back her pain. _I guess our family just isn’t meant to be together. Something always tears us apart._

“Then the only way we can help him is by winning this war.” Zuko’s stated, tone suddenly darker. Katara looked at him appraisingly, her gaze traveling over the tautness of his body, the clench of his jaw, and the blaze of fierce resolve in his narrowed eyes.

When he looked like that, it was hard not to believe him.

“You make it sound so easy,” Katara murmured.

“It won’t be. But-“ Zuko broke off as the sound of approaching footsteps echoed around them, and they both stood at attention. Zuko rapped on the door to warn Sokka moments before a female guard descended a metal flight of stairs nearby and headed their way.

“Excuse me. I need to get into that cell.” The woman eyed them slightly suspiciously. Katara’s heart was pumping frantically, and she felt a drop of sweat roll down the back of her neck. Zuko moved to block the woman’s way as she stepped forward.

“No, you can’t go in there!” He cast a look back at Katara, eyes flicking to the dark prison cell. “Uh, the lights are out. The prisoner could sneak up on you!”

“Step aside, fool!” the guard snarled, reaching out to shove Zuko away, but she never had a chance. Before Katara could even blink, Zuko had the woman in a headlock, and Katara stood frozen in shock as they each struggled to gain the upper hand. There was no getting out of here unnoticed, now.

“Guard, help!” The woman shouted at Katara. “I think he’s an imposter! Arrest him!”

_If only one of us is captured, the other has a chance at rescuing them._

Katara stepped forward, praying Zuko would understand as she yanked him off the guard and shoved him to the floor with all her strength. He didn’t resist, maintaining a stoic expression as Katara and the guard hauled him away.

_I can’t believe he let me do that. He must actually trust us to come for him._ Katara couldn’t help the rush of emotion that swelled in her chest. The Zuko she thought she knew would have died before relying on their help. He’d risked his own Uncle’s life by refusing her healing touch when they’d all faced Azula together, and now here he was placing his freedom directly into her hands. Somehow, in spite of the danger they were in, it felt like a gift.

Katara squeezed Zuko’s arm as they walked, hoping he would recognize it as the unspoken promise it was.

As soon as they ran into another guard, the female guard explained what had happened, and Zuko was given a prison uniform before being thrown in a cell. The door was left open, and Katara and the guard Zuko had attacked, along with two others, awaited the Warden. From the nervous way the others were acting, Katara gathered that the last thing anyone wanted was attention from this man. _Great._

When the Warden arrived, flanked by four more guards, Katara could see why. He was of medium height and build, but something about his dark, heavily lidded eyes made her shiver. He looked like a man without a soul.

“Tell me what happened.” The Warden commanded the guard in a deep, deliberate voice that chilled Katara to the bone.

“He just attacked me out of nowhere, sir. I don’t think he’s one of us.”

The Warden dismissed her with a nod and strode into the cell, where Zuko sat with his head bowed and fists clenched. Katara and the other guards lingered near the doorway, everyone eager to find out who was crazy enough to break _into_ this prison. There was a long, tense moment of silence before the Warden spoke, in a grimly triumphant tone.

“Well, well, well. I never thought I’d find _you_ in here. Prince Zuko.”

Katara felt the blood drain from her face, and her heart began to pound so hard she could barely hear Zuko’s reply.

“How did you know who I am?” Zuko sounded shocked.

“How could I not? You broke my niece’s heart.”

Katara’s mouth fell open. The guard to her right was listening with wide eyes, and someone behind her had gasped softly at the revelation.

“You’re Mai’s uncle?” Zuko’s voice cracked slightly. “I never meant to hurt her.”

“Quiet! You’re my special prisoner now.” The Warden drawled menacingly. “And you’d best behave. If these criminals found out who you are – the traitor prince who let his nation down… why, they’d tear you to shreds.”

“So what’s in it for you? Why don’t you just tell my father and collect a reward?”

_Shut up, Zuko!_  Katara gritted her teeth.

“Oh, in due time, believe me… I intend to collect.” His sinister tone made Katara’s belly clench in fear. They needed to get out of here. Fast.

First step, find Sokka. As soon as the Warden had disappeared from sight, Zuko’s cell was locked up tight, and Katara forced herself to walk away. It felt wrong to leave him there, alone, but she knew she had no choice.

Katara made her way through the prison, checking all the common areas and dining halls for any sign of Sokka, and finally spotted him coming out of a third-story lounge. He was munching on an apple with a preoccupied look on his face, and Katara felt relief rush through her like a waterfall. Sokka’s cover was still in place. At least Zuko’s sacrifice hadn’t been for nothing.

Sokka caught sight of her at once and made a show of approaching her casually, but she could see the strain in his eyes.

“What happened?” He asked quietly. “Where’s Zuko?”

“He stopped the guard from catching you in Suki’s cell and got arrested! The Warden is Mai’s uncle, so he immediately knew who Zuko was. We need to get him out of there and escape while we still can. This has become way too dangerous, Sokka.”

“Of all the rotten luck!” Sokka complained. “The Warden just _happens_ to be related to one of Azula’s freak-show friends?!”

“Well, Mai is also Zuko’s ex-girlfriend, but that’s not important right now! Did you hear me? We have to leave before they turn Zuko over to the Fire Lord!”

“Okay, yeah, I know.” Sokka sighed. “Go figure Zuko’s love life would end up making this situation even worse. We just _had_ to team up with a highly recognizable Fire Nation prince.”

“If we hadn’t, Aang wouldn’t have a fire-bending teacher.” Katara chastised him, although he had a point. “Come on, we need to find Suki and tell her we’re leaving. Tonight.”

“Good idea!” Sokka brightened at the mention of Suki. “She should be doing cleaning duty on the fifth floor.”

When they found Suki, furiously mopping the ugly metal floor, Katara was shocked to see Zuko there too. She doubted he’d ever held a mop in his life, and it showed as he slopped it around haphazardly.

“Oh, good, you guys have met.” Sokka grinned at them.

“Actually, we met a long time ago.” Suki said as she continued working.

“We did?” Zuko asked, confused.

“Yeah, you kind of burned down my village.” Suki told him in an irritated tone, and Zuko froze in discomfort.

“Oh. Sorry about that. Nice to see you again.” He focused on his mop with a deeply uncomfortable expression. Katara knew it was a horrible thing to laugh about, but she had a hard time holding back. He’d need to get used to these kind of things, now that he’d changed sides.

Sokka rolled his eyes and jerked his head towards the stairs. In unison, they ducked down and hid themselves from the other guards.

“So, listen, we have to get out of here. Zuko’s got a huge bounty on his head, and the last thing we need is for Azula or some other Fire Nation terror to show up here before we can get out.”

“There are rewards for your capture too, you know.” Zuko grumbled. “It’s not like this is all my fault.”

“Uh huh, maybe I’d believe that if the Warden didn’t have a personal reason to want your head on a silver platter!” Sokka exclaimed, jabbing a finger at him. Katara suddenly decided that the floor was extremely interesting.

“How did you know that?!”

“Katara told me!”

Katara looked up to see Zuko glaring at her with reddened cheeks. Her lips twitched, but she figured smiling would only make him angrier.

“I overheard the Warden talking to you. Actually, there were quite a few of us outside your cell. It’s probably all over the prison by now. Which is just another reason we need to escape, quickly.” Katara said firmly, ignoring the annoyed scowl Zuko was directing at her.

“Someone’s coming!” Suki whispered suddenly, cutting Zuko’s response off. They all pressed themselves against the side of the staircase.

“Yeah, new arrival’s coming in at dawn.”

“Anybody interesting?” The two men’s footsteps clunked down the stairs.

“Nah, just the usual. Some robbers, a couple traitors, some war prisoners.” The four of them stared at each other with wide, shocked eyes. “Though I did hear there might be a pirate.”

“No fooling!” The guard sounded delighted at the prospect as their voices faded.

“War prisoners.” Zuko said, the blush fading from his face as he gave Katara and Sokka a steady look. “It could be your father.”

“I know.” Sokka said in a subdued voice.

“Well, what should we do? Are we going to run for it or wait another night?”

“I don’t know!” Sokka sighed, looking conflicted. “Is it right for me to risk all our freedom on the slim chance that our dad is gonna show up?”

“It’s your call, Sokka. You’re the one who said you wanted to redeem yourself. Redeem your honor. Rescuing your dad is your chance.”

“If I had just cut my losses at the invasion, maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess. Maybe sometimes it’s just better to call it quits before you fail.” Sokka looked down unhappily as Suki laid a hand on his arm.

“No, it’s not.” Zuko insisted, his molten eyes flaring with passion. “Look, Sokka, you’re going to fail a lot before things work out.”

“That supposed to make me feel better?” Sokka glared at him.

“Even though you’ll probably fail over and over and over again…”

“Seriously, not helping.”

Zuko leaned forward, reaching out to grab Sokka’s shoulder. Katara’s eyes widened at the ease of the gesture. He kept surprising her.

“You have to try every time. You can’t quit because you’re afraid you _might_ fail.”

Sokka stared back at him, brow furrowed, while Katara reflected on his words. Zuko would know more about struggling to succeed than anyone. He’d struggled as a child, and been banished for his failures. He’d struggled to catch the Avatar, and failed many times. And now, even though everyone he’d ever cared about considered him a traitor, he still struggled to do the right thing. _He’s actually kind of amazing. Starting from a pit of hatred and corruption, and ending up helping the Avatar against his sister, his father, his nation._

Everything she’d seen of him in the last couple days, everything he’d said and done… it jarred with the image of who she’d thought Zuko was. It was terrifying, but it also filled her with hope, and purpose. If Zuko could still have hope for the future, after everything he’d been through, then she and Sokka could still hope to rescue their father. Together.

“I’m staying.” Katara declared. “Zuko’s right.” _Never thought I’d say that_. ”I believe we can do this.”

“Okay,” Sokka nodded, determination transforming his face. “I’ll stay. But Suki, you should let Katara get you out. You’ve been here long enough.” He cupped her cheek tenderly, and Katara resisted the urge to roll her eyes. It was kind of sweet, though.

“I’m not leaving without you, Sokka.” Suki’s tone left no room for argument.

Zuko’s eyes locked onto Katara’s, and she felt her heartbeat stutter. His face was alive with exhilaration, golden eyes gleaming as though he was looking forward to the fight ahead of them. It seemed as though he spoke only to her.

 “I’m staying, too.”

Another fragment of her wall crumbled to dust.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this chapter so much. Hope you guys like it, it's a little long because I was waiting for the right breaking point!

_-Zuko-_

The next day, Zuko lay on his cot with his hands folded behind his head, staring unseeingly at the ceiling. He didn’t know what time it was. He didn’t know when Sokka would come for him. Every so often the thought would cross his mind that Sokka _wasn’t_ coming, that they would take off and leave him to his fate. It would be nothing less than he deserved.

The crazy part was, a few days ago, he would have believed it. He’d been so focused on his desire for the group to trust _him,_ he hadn’t even realized that over the past couple days, he’d come to trust Sokka and Katara in turn. He couldn’t explain it, but he knew they wouldn’t leave him behind. They were good people.

Zuko had always known that, obliquely, but it was another thing to witness it as part of the team - the way Sokka relieved the tension and came up with ideas, while Katara kept them on track and alert. Hiding underneath that staircase together, risking their lives, making plans – despite the danger, Zuko had never felt such a sense of belonging.

He dwelled for a moment on the memory of Katara, looking at him without a trace of anger or annoyance in her cobalt eyes. He knew he’d stared at her for too long, but she’d gazed right back at him, and he’d watched her walk away with his heart beating a rhythm against his ribs.

These reactions to her were getting ridiculous. He’d never been great with girls, but there was no precedent for the feelings Katara stirred in him. Was it simply that her approval was so hard to win? Or did he actually…?

Before he could finish that thought – _probably for the best_  – he heard a whispered “Zuko, are you there?” from the doorway, and saw Sokka’s helmeted head in the barred window. Zuko rose and crossed the floor on silent feet.

“I’m here.”

“We saw my dad arrive! He’s here! I already got a chance to talk to him, and we came up with an escape plan together.”

“That’s great news! You did it, Sokka.”

“Well, we’re not out of here yet.” Sokka grinned, obviously overjoyed. “Anyway-“

“What are you doing here?” An unfamiliar voice asked. He saw Sokka jerk around to face the unknown speaker, and positioned himself in the center of the cell, ready for whatever would happen next.

“I was just telling this dirty lowlife what I think of him!” Sokka blustered, and Zuko rolled his eyes. _He needs to work on his improvisation skills. Especially if we’re going to be doing this kind of thing a lot._

“Well, you’ll have to do that later,” another voice said, sounding amused. “He’s coming with us.”

“Why?” Sokka asked nervously.

“Because we have orders straight from the warden, that’s why!”

“Could I just get ten more seconds to rough him up a bit?” Sokka slapped his hand with his fist. Zuko had to restrain himself from groaning out loud.

“Fine, ten seconds,” the amused voice consented. The other guard huffed impatiently as Sokka entered the cell. Zuko was ready with the mattress for protection as Sokka came at him, fists raised.

_Thump! Thwack!_ Zuko grunted as the blows landed, trying to make it sound convincing.

“We have a new plan, but it’s gonna need a big distraction. Be in the yard in one hour.” Sokka muttered under his breath. He grabbed Zuko in a headlock just as the guards opened the door, and they both rolled their eyes, the grumpy man sighing in exasperation.

“Newbies.”

“All right, that’s enough,” the other guard pulled Sokka off him, and Zuko caught a glimpse of Sokka’s worried frown as they hauled him out of the cell.

“Where are you taking me?” He asked as they dragged him down the hallway and into an interrogation room, throwing him into a wooden chair. “I didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Come on, Zuko.” Zuko froze, instantly recognizing her voice. “We all know that’s a lie.”

Mai stepped out from the corner of the room, where Zuko’s eyes had passed by without even noticing her. She was paler than he remembered, her ink-colored, glossy hair gleaming against her red outfit, and he felt his stomach drop down to his knees at the dark look in her even darker eyes.

“Mai! H-how did you know I was here?”

“Because I know you so well.” Mai said sardonically.

“But-“

“The Warden’s my uncle, you idiot. How do you think?” Mai withdrew a letter from her sleeve and waved it in his face. “The truth is, I guess I don’t know you. All I get is a letter? You could have at least looked me in the eye when you ripped out my heart.”

“I didn’t mean to-“ Zuko blanched as the guilt yawned up to swallow him.

“You didn’t mean to?” Mai scowled at him before she began reading his letter aloud. “’Dear Mai, I’m sorry that you have to find out this way, but I’m leaving.’”

“Stop!” Zuko shouted, unable to listen to another word. “This isn’t about you, or me. This is about the Fire Nation!”

                           

“Thanks, Zuko,” Mai said with biting sarcasm, “That makes me feel _all_ better.” She threw the letter at him, and he jumped up from his seat. He tried to make her meet his eyes, but she had her arms crossed and her little pointed chin turned away from him.

“Mai, I never wanted to hurt you. But I have to do this to save my country.”

“Save it? You’re betraying your country!”

“That’s not how I see it,” Zuko murmured, feeling the weight of his decisions pressing down on him.

Mai looked away again, but he could have sworn her features softened for a fraction of a second.

Just then, a guard burst into the room, sweating profusely in his heavy armor.

“Ma’am, there’s a riot going on! I’m here to protect you!”

“I don’t need any protection.” Mai stated coldly. Zuko couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped past his lips.

“Believe me, she doesn’t,” he said proudly.

“I’m sorry, but I’m under direct orders from your uncle to make sure nothing happens to you.” The guard was focused on Mai, frowning, and Zuko didn’t hesitate. He whipped his arm forward and unleashed a blast of fire at the guard as he made a run for the door.

“Get off of me!” Mai yelled as the guard attempted to shield her. She shoved him out the way, bolting after Zuko just as he cleared the threshold and whirled around, slamming the door in her face. For a moment, they stared into each other’s eyes through the bars, his filled with regret, hers smoldering with anger.

Then he turned his back and ran.

Out in the yard, it was chaos. Bodies pressed in on all sides, and Zuko took numerous hits before he finally squeezed in between two rotund men and came face to face with Sokka, Katara, Suki, and an older, nut-brown skinned man that had to be the siblings’ father. Hakoda. The reason they were here. Zuko could see the family resemblance, especially in his pale blue eyes, which matched Sokka’s perfectly.

“Zuko!” Sokka beamed, hand in hand with Suki, and Zuko couldn’t hide a small smile at his enthusiasm. Katara, standing beside her father, ran her sapphire eyes up and down Zuko, obviously just checking that he was okay. He felt heat rush through his body all the same.

_I wonder what she sees when she looks at me._

Hakoda, watching his daughter watch Zuko, looked like he was wondering the same thing.

“Okay, now that we’re all here, all we need to do is grab the warden and get to the gondolas!” Sokka said brightly.

“And how do we do that?” Zuko asked with interest.

“I’m not sure.”

Zuko groaned, his previous feelings of warmth dissipating into irritation.

“I thought you thought this through?!”

“I thought you told me it’s okay not to think everything through!” Sokka exclaimed, looking panicked.

“Maybe not everything, but this is kind of important!” Zuko rubbed his forehead, resisting the urge to lose his temper.

“Hey, Sokka? I think your girlfriend’s taking care of it.” Hakoda rumbled in an impressed voice, pointing. Suki had slipped her hand from Sokka’s without him even noticing, and was currently jumping and flipping her way up the tower to where the Warden stood.

They all took off at a dead run. By the time they’d arrived at the top of the stairs, gasping for air, Suki had the Warden bound and pressed against the wall. She stood there, barely out of breath, surrounded by the five unconscious guards who’d gotten in her way.

“That’s some girl.” Hakoda stared with awe on his face.

“Tell me about it.” Sokka agreed, eyes shining. Katara rolled her eyes behind their backs, then wrinkled her nose when Zuko gave her an amused look.

“Come on, we need to get to the gondola,” Katara urged, and they ran for the stairs. Sokka and Hakoda pulled the Warden along between them, with Zuko in the lead and Katara and Suki watching their backs. Two guards met them at the top, and they all ducked as fireballs came rocketing towards them. Zuko saw Sokka turn his head to check on Suki, and yanked him out of the way as he leapt forward to block the blasts. Guards seemed to be streaming in from all sides, surrounding them.  Zuko knew the situation was moments away from being out of his control.

“Back off!” Zuko shouted. “We’ve got the Warden!”

The guards came to a reluctant halt, and Zuko felt their stares burning into his face while he and the others cautiously continued towards the gondola platform. Both groups were watching each other for any sudden movements, the tension palpable in the air between them.

Finally, they rounded a corner and the guards were out of sight. They made a mad dash for the deserted platform and piled into the gondola, except Zuko. He knew the guards would be after them any second, and sure enough he saw them come rushing around the corner just as he got the gondola moving. He aimed a powerful kick at the handle, once, twice, three times, sweat dripping down his face as the gondola drew further and further away.

At his fourth blow, the handle ripped loose with a metallic squeal, and Zuko bounded to the edge of the platform with fireballs blasting all around him, launching himself as hard as he could towards Sokka’s outstretched hands. For one long, heart-stopping moment, Zuko was sure that Sokka wouldn’t be able to grab him, and he would plunge helplessly to his death in the scalding hot lake…

“Gotcha!” Fingers scrabbled at his arms, and the sense of weightlessness disappeared as what seemed like many pairs of hands dragged him on board. Zuko realized he had his eyes squeezed shut and quickly opened them, embarrassed.

“Why did you do that?” Katara asked, glaring at him with her hands on her hips.

_Ah, there’s the Katara I know._

“I made it so they can’t stop us,” Zuko informed her, feeling miffed.

“Way to think ahead,” Sokka said, impressed.

“We’re on our way!” Suki whooped, her face alive with elation as the gondola traveled towards the craggy outer wall.

“Wait” Hakoda called, keeping one eye on their furious hostage as he glanced back the way they’d come. “Who’s _that?_ ”

They all turned to look, even the Warden, Katara wiggling in between her father and Zuko to get a good view. Two figures stood at the edge of the gondola station. Zuko’s stomach clenched with dread as he recognized them. _I should have known as soon as I saw Mai._ He reflected bitterly. Of course Azula and Ty Lee were here too. Mai must have told Azula about his capture. She was a loyal Fire Nation citizen, after all.

He just wished that didn’t sting so much.  

“That’s going to be a problem.” Zuko told the group. “It’s my sister and her friend.”

“Oh, _great._ ” Sokka moaned, clapping a hand to his forehead. “Exactly the people I was hoping to avoid!”

Katara gasped, pointing wordlessly out the window. Azula had clipped herself to the cable supporting the gondola and was using blasts of fire to propel herself towards them while Ty Lee sprinted lightly across the cable. Zuko glared at Azula as she drew nearer, his emotions a roiling mess of rage, and pain.

“This is a rematch I’ve been waiting for.” Suki remarked, her joyful expression replaced with a grim look of determination.

“Me too,” Zuko curled his hands into fists. He, Katara, Sokka, and Suki climbed out the windows to stand on the gondola roof, Sokka drawing his incandescent black sword. Ty Lee back flipped off the cable to face Suki and Sokka with her usual cheery smile, but Zuko couldn’t focus on her - Azula had just alighted behind them. Katara instantly drew water from the air around them as they waited for Azula to make a move, her blue eyes never leaving her opponent. Zuko met Azula’s cool smirk with a dirty look. _How does she always find me?_

Before anyone could take a breath, Azula suddenly swept her leg around, dispersing electric blue flames towards them in a crackling barrier. Zuko leapt up as high as he could, slamming a fistful of fire through it to reveal Azula already hurling blue fireballs at them. Katara flung her arms out, forming a wall of water that brought the fireballs to a sizzling end. As the water dissolved into steam, another fireball came soaring out of the mist – Zuko just barely managed to block it, and while Azula looked annoyed, Katara took the chance to lash out with her water whip. Azula was forced to drop to her knees to avoid it, and her next blast of fire was aimed viciously at Katara. Zuko leapt in front of her to deflect it, and as he did so noticed Azula’s suddenly calculating expression with a feeling of immense dread.

“Wow, ZuZu, does poor Mai know she’s already been replaced?” Azula called out in a mocking voice. “If not, I’d be happy to let her know. That’s what friends are for, after all!”

“Shut up, Azula!” Zuko shouted furiously, raising his arms to attack again.

“Zuko! She’s just baiting you!” Katara warned as she stepped up beside him, scowling at Azula with a defiant gleam in her eyes.

“Katara, no! Get back!” Zuko knew Azula would strike where it would hurt him the most, and he’d already revealed Katara as a target simply by protecting her.

Suddenly, the gondola shuddered violently, throwing everyone off balance as it rocked back and forth. Zuko glanced towards the gondola station to see that the guards had managed to wedge a piece of metal into the cable reel, forcing the gondola to a stop. He turned back just in time to see Azula fling another fireball at Katara, who sprang away unsteadily as the gondola rocked again.

Zuko saw it in slow-motion as Katara lost her footing and went down hard, tumbling towards the edge of the roof. Heat surged through his limbs, and he threw himself at her, catching one of her arms and hauling her back onto her feet.

For one short second, Katara met his gaze with a grateful blink, her cobalt eyes glowing. Her heart-shaped face was inches away, and the sudden impulse to touch his lips to hers was both terrifying and exhilarating. 

_Get it together!_  He berated himself. _You’re in the middle of a fight!_

“They’re about to cut the line!” Ty Lee screamed at Azula, pointing back towards the station. They all turned to look with varying degrees of horror.

“Then it’s time to leave. Goodbye, Zuko.” Azula gave Zuko and Katara one last look of grim amusement before she blasted herself into the air, landing atop a gondola moving in the opposite direction. Ty Lee jumped after her, and the four of them watched as Azula and Ty Lee sailed away. Zuko couldn’t even find it in himself to be shocked as his own sister left him to his fate, but he could see on the other’s faces that they were. _They don’t know Azula like I do._

“They’re cutting the line!” Zuko told Hakoda as he swung through the window. “The gondola’s about to go!”

“I hope this thing floats.” Hakoda said, peering down at the steam rising from the boiling lake.

“Don’t worry, Dad,” Katara said, breathing heavily. “I’m sure I can keep us from sinking.”

“Guys, look!” Suki was staring out the window, looking confused. They all ran to look. At the gondola station, a slim figure in red was making quick work of the guards. Half of them were already pinned down, and as they watched, the figure whirled around and kicked the bar of metal out of the cable reel. The gondola began to move again.

“Who’s that?!” Sokka exclaimed.

Zuko felt shock rip through him as he caught sight of her gleaming black hair, her knives glinting in the sunlight as she wove through the remaining guards. _What is she doing?!_

“It’s Mai,” he said in disbelief, and wonder. Did she really care about him this much? Enough to betray her nation? He’d never expected this. Azula was going to be in a towering rage.

_She must really love me._  He thought guiltily, uncomfortable with such a gift from Mai when his own thoughts had been straying towards a certain water-bender a little too often lately.

The water-bender in question was tugging at his arm, and he realized the gondola had finally reached its destination. Everyone filed out, Sokka giving the Warden a jaunty salute as they left him tied up on the floor.

“Sorry, Warden! I guess your record is officially broken!”

They hustled over the edge of the ring of rock surrounding the lake, Zuko falling behind as his thoughts twisted themselves into knots around Mai’s name.

“Well,” Suki panted, “We made it out. Now what?”

“Zuko, what are you doing?!” Sokka called, noticing his sluggishness.

“Uh, my sister was on that island.” Zuko recalled, fighting through the shock.

“Yeah, and she’s probably right behind us, so let’s go!” Sokka said in exasperation.

“What I mean is she must have come here somehow.” He ran to look over the edge. “There! That’s our way out of here!”

A huge airship hovered above the water, and the others whooped and cheered as they ran for it. Zuko kept pace with them, but his mind was back at the gondola station with Mai, trying to imagine what had happened to her when Azula caught up with her. At best, she would be imprisoned. Zuko only prayed that Azula had enough affection for one of her oldest friends to spare Mai’s life.

While the others celebrated, Zuko hid himself away. He didn’t think he could handle the added guilt of enjoying Katara’s company while Mai was most likely in chains right now.

_Why did she do it? I purposely left her behind so she wouldn’t have to become a traitor, and she comes after me anyway. This is all my fault. If I’d known the path I was going to end up taking, I would never have gotten her involved in the first place._

His thoughts followed the same torturous, circular pattern the whole way back. When they finally reached the Western Air temple, Aang, Toph, and Momo were waiting for them. Sokka and Katara bounded off the ship to greet them, Zuko trailing behind while Suki and Hakoda waited inside to surprise the others.

“What are you doing in this thing?” Aang asked excitedly, bouncing from foot to foot as he threw his arms around Katara. Zuko tried not to feel envious as she hugged him back. “What happened to the war balloon?”

“It kind of got destroyed.” Zuko told him nonchalantly.

“Sounds like a crazy trip,” Toph rolled her eyes. “Did you at least find any meat?”

“I did!” Sokka grinned widely. “The best meat of all – of friendship, and fatherhood.”

Hakoda and Suki came strolling down the gangplank, smiling as everyone erupted into chatter.

“What! Who is it?” Toph yelled over the noise.

“It’s Katara’s dad and Suki!” Aang hugged them both. “What is going on? Where did you guys go?”

“We kind of went to a Fire Nation prison.” Sokka waved his hand casually. Hakoda laughed and pulled Katara and Sokka into a hug. Katara had tears brimming in her eyes.

“You are so brave. And I’m so grateful. To all of you.” Hakoda beckoned the rest of them in, but Zuko held back, uncomfortable.

“Come on, Zuko, you too!” Aang beamed at him, and Katara wrapped her hand around his wrist to draw him in, his heart skipping a beat at her touch.

Engulfed in a mess of warm bodies and squeezing arms, deafened by the happy chatter… Zuko could almost forget about his poor ex-girlfriend, rotting away somewhere.

Almost.  


	8. Chapter 8

Everyone was in a great mood the next day. Toph was louder than ever as she rough-housed with Haru and the Duke, Teo talking smack from the sidelines. Her father, Sokka, and Suki were deep in conversation, and Zuko and Aang had gone off to train before anyone else was awake. After a rowdy breakfast, Katara decided to go see how things were going. Now that Zuko could fire-bend at full strength, he and Aang were bound to put on an impressive display.

Katara wondered if Aang had overcome his fear of fire-bending since his meeting with the masters. He’d been so distraught when he’d burned her all those months ago, but Katara remembered it almost fondly as the day she’d first discovered her latent healing abilities. She was eternally grateful to be able to help people with her gift – grateful she could save her loved ones when no one else could. Without her, Hakoda’s arm might have been permanently injured during the invasion, and Toph’s feet would probably still be healing from Zuko’s accidental burning.

Without her, and a tiny vial of spirit water, the Avatar himself, the last hope for the world, would be dead right now.

Katara shuddered at the thought, her steps losing purpose as the unwelcome memories came flooding back. She knew the image of Aang’s lifeless body falling from the air would stay with her the rest of her life. But Iroh had saved her, and she’d saved Aang, with the very spirit water she’d almost used on Zuko…

It was that thought that terrified her the most. In a moment of kindness for a boy who didn’t hesitate to attack them mere minutes later… she’d almost destroyed the world. She’d always hated Zuko for betraying her, but most of her rage was directed at herself. If Aang and Iroh had been delayed by even a few moments… she would have done it. Zuko would be scar-less, Aang would be dead, and there would be no hope.  

_All because of the way Zuko looked at me…_ Imprisoned together, bonding over their lost childhoods, his hopeless voice, the agony in his eyes… her heart had softened against her will.

And now, here they were. Zuko had apparently joined their side for good. She’d felt the connection growing between them during their time at the Boiling Rock, but the fear and distrust that had formed in the aftermath of Ba Sing Se still sat heavy in her stomach. _Why couldn’t he have picked us, picked me, back then? It would be so much easier to forgive him if he hadn’t turned on us once already._

_Well, he did have to make a choice between his life-long enemy and his own family,_ a reasonable voice whispered in the back of her mind.

_Don’t defend him!_  She argued. _He betrayed us, and his uncle, out of his own selfish desire to “reclaim his honor” from his father, as if that wasn’t ridiculous to begin with…_

_Or he just wanted to go home._

“Doesn’t make it okay,” Katara grumbled at the voice. It didn’t reply. She knew it was just her stubborn side warring with her kind-hearted side, but it didn’t help. When it came to Zuko, she was never at peace.

She finally made her way to the training area, no longer sure if she wanted to see either Aang or Zuko. She’d thoroughly depressed herself. And it looked like she wasn’t the only one – when she rounded the corner, she saw Aang sprawled out on the ground, his voice rising in a whine. Zuko stood over him with his back to Katara, fists resting on his hips. With his sculpted muscles and flawless ivory skin, he looked like a perfect marble statue – except for the way his sweaty hair clung to his skin. Katara found herself transfixed on the spot where it curled at the base of his neck. 

“Katara!” Aang was suddenly bouncing up and down in her line of sight, beaming. “I didn’t know you were coming!”

“I just thought I’d see how you guys were doing,” Katara said a little breathlessly, blinking as she turned her focus to him. He cocked his head and eyed her with an all too familiar look of concern.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine!” Katara knew she was blushing. She tried to play it cool, though it was difficult when she could practically feel Zuko’s stare. She avoided looking at him, worried about what Aang might see on her face if she did.  

Aang’s eyebrows quirked up at her harried tone, and Katara cringed internally. Naïve he might be, but Aang was no fool. Katara cleared her throat.

“So, how’s training going?” She reluctantly flicked her eyes towards Zuko. He was standing where Aang had left him, arms crossed, his face devoid of the warmth Katara had seen at the Boiling Rock. He looked like the old Zuko, with his furrowed brows and thundercloud expression. _What’s his problem?_

“It’s going fine. The Av – Aang is a quick learner. But he lacks discipline.”

“Uh, hello? I’m right here!” Aang pouted, waving his hand in Zuko’s face.

“Yeah. I know.” Zuko stalked off without another word or a backwards glance.

“What’s with him?” Aang stared after him with wide eyes. “He’s been in a bad mood all morning. Even for Zuko!”

“I have no idea,” Katara muttered, her own mood darkening. “Maybe I should go talk to him.”

“ _You?!”_ Aang hooted. “Since when do you want to make Zuko feel better?”

“I don’t!” Katara snapped, “I’m just going to ask him what his problem is!”

“Um, okay…” Aang’s voice trailed off uncertainly as she stomped away.

Katara found Zuko leaning against a pillar at the far edge of the temple, staring out into the canyon. His head turned slightly at the sound of her footsteps, but he didn’t speak or otherwise acknowledge her presence.

Which irritated her.

“Why did you walk off like that?” She demanded, stopping a few feet away from him and glaring at the back of his head.

“Seemed like you two needed some alone time.” Zuko replied snidely, still refusing to face her.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Katara felt the blood rush into her face, making her cheeks burn. _Me and Aang? Why would he think that? There’s no way he could know that Aang kissed me…_

“I think you know.”

“No, I don’t!” Katara marched forward and grabbed his arm, forcing him to look at her. His face could have been carved from stone; immobile except for the anger simmering in his molten eyes. “Why are you being such a jerk, Zuko? I thought we were getting along now!”

“Yeah, I thought that too – right up until we were in the presence of the precious Avatar, and then you couldn’t even bear to look me in the eye!” Zuko retorted, suddenly furious as he flushed a deep, crimson red. “What, did being around all that goodness remind you how much you hate me?”

“ _What?!”_ Katara gaped at him, mystified. _He sounds… jealous?_  “Of course not! Don’t be ridiculous!”

“I _saw_ the look on your face, water-bender!” Zuko shouted, jabbing his finger at her. A crackling tongue of flame shot out, singeing the side of her face, and she recoiled instinctively.

Katara clapped a hand to her cheek as Zuko took a step backwards, horrified, but the damage was done. Rage boiled up inside her, chasing away the pain of the burn and the remnants of her self-control.

“Oh, it’s _water-bender,_ now, is it?” She hissed venomously. “I’m glad you remember what I’m capable of!”

Zuko’s eyes widened as Katara flowed into a bending stance, drawing water from the air and plants around them. Before Zuko could do more than raise his arms defensively, Katara sent a wave of water roaring towards him, ramming him against the pillar and pinning him there.

“Katara, stop!” Zuko roared over the sound of rushing water, steam billowing out from his body as he tried to use his fire-bending.

“KATARA!” A different voice echoed from above them, and a moment later Aang had alighted between her and Zuko. He met her gaze with a look of deep disappointment, and Katara hastily straightened, dropping her arms. The water splashed to the ground. Zuko sagged against the pillar, soaking wet and spluttering. A circle of brown, brittle grass stretched out from where she stood.

“What’s going on?” Aang asked, staring at her. Katara crossed her arms. She felt slightly ashamed of herself, even though Zuko had started it. But that made her sound like a child.

“Nothing. Just some bending practice,” She lied.

“That didn’t look like practice,” Aang said doubtfully. He turned to Zuko, who had wisely kept his mouth shut so far. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” Zuko muttered unconvincingly as Katara glared at him from behind Aang’s back. “It was a show of skill. Obviously, I lost.” He scowled at the ground as water trickled down his face, and Aang stared between the two of them for a long moment. Katara avoided his eyes determinedly. Aang was the last person who should know the reason behind their fight. Not to mention he’d probably go into the Avatar state if he knew Zuko had so much as blown smoke in her general direction.  

“Ookay…” Aang trailed off uneasily. “But if you ask me, you two are acting really- LOOK OUT!”

Katara flinched as Aang suddenly launched himself off the edge of the temple with a burst of air. She and Zuko looked up to see a smoking ball of fire bearing down on the temple, and while they were still processing that, an enormous ruby airship with a Fire-Nation emblem on the side appeared, blocking out the sky.

Aang met the fiery bomb with an air-powered strike of his glider, slicing it in half as Katara and Zuko watched in horror. The pieces shot off in different directions, and Aang did a back flip in midair, hurtling back towards them. Just in time. Two more bombs came flying from the ship in quick succession, and the three of them took off the moment Aang landed. The ground lurched beneath them as each bomb exploded against the roof, so Katara was keeping her eyes on her feet as she ran.

As a result, Katara wasn’t paying attention when someone slammed into her at full speed, and they went flying. She twisted her head around and saw it was Zuko, draped over her in a way that had her heart spluttering unevenly.  

“What are you doing?!” She yelled at him, trying to ignore her body’s reaction to his arm wrapped firmly around her waist.  

“Keeping rocks from crushing you,” he answered tightly, nodding at the crumbling mass of roof that had crashed to the ground a few feet away from them. Katara hadn’t even noticed.

“Okay, I’m not crushed. You can get off me now!” Katara shrugged him off and ran after Aang, fuming.

“I’ll take that as a thank you.” She heard him say sarcastically as he got up to follow her.

_Saving my life right now doesn’t make up for being a jerk two minutes ago!_  Katara thought indignantly.

Back at camp, Aang was already trying to entice Appa into an escape tunnel that Toph and Haru had created in the side of the cliff, but the sky bison wasn’t budging. Katara bit her lip as fire-bombs continued to assail the temple. Appa had never liked going underground, but his fear seemed to have magnified ever since he’d been kidnapped. Everyone else waited at the mouth of the tunnel, poised to flee. Katara suddenly noticed that Zuko wasn’t among them. Looking around, she caught sight of him at the edge of their destroyed campsite, staring out at the airship – except now there were three of them. She gasped in horror.

“Zuko, come on! What are you doing?” Katara yelled at him, feeling panicked by the look on his face. He was contemplating at the middle air-ship, the biggest one, with a strange light in his amber eyes.

“Go ahead! I’ll hold them off.” He turned to meet her gaze steadily. “I think this is a family visit.”

“Zuko, no!” Katara took a step forward, but there was nothing she could do as he sprinted out of sight. _Idiot! He’s going to get himself killed!_

Behind her, Sokka had joined Aang in tugging on Appa’s reins. Toph was doing her best to keep any of them from getting hit by falling rocks, and Hakoda was calling her name. She doubted Zuko would want her help anyway. She was needed here.

Or maybe not. Appa refused to go into the tunnel. Aang met her panicked look with one of his own.

“I can’t get him to go in there! Appa hates tunnels!”

“Aang, there’s no way we can fly out of here!” Katara gestured at the air-ships, the sky still blazing with fire-bombs, the crumbling ceiling.

“We’ll have to find a way!” Aang shouted determinedly.

“We need to split up,” Sokka said with a pained expression. He turned to the rest of the group. “You guys take the tunnel and get to the stolen airship.”

“No!” Katara protested, horrified at the thought. “The Fire Nation can’t separate our family again!” _We just got him back!_

“It’ll be okay,” Hakoda said, wrapping her in a hug. “It’s not forever.”

Katara shuddered as she hugged him back, hoping he was right. Sokka quickly hugged their father as well before grabbing Suki by the hand and dragging her with him. _I guess she’s coming with us. So why are we leaving Dad behind?_ She took one last look towards her father as she walked away, but Toph had already sealed up the tunnel.

At least they would be safe. She couldn’t say the same for rest of them.

“I can clear this away and we can fly out through here!” Toph shouted, her hand pressed flat against the wall.

“Um, there’s an awful lot of fire in that general direction…” Suki pointed out.

“We’ll get through.” There was no question in Aang’s voice. His eyes were hard and unwavering. “Let’s go.”

They quickly climbed onto Appa, and as he took off Toph and Aang created a giant shield of rock in front of them. They blasted through the outside wall of the temple. Almost immediately, the shield took multiple hits, vibrating as shards of rock pelted them. Katara quickly formed her water whips, ready for the moment their shield disintegrated. Appa was soaring up and over one of the airships when they took a big hit and their protective wall fell away completely. Toph and Sokka held on for dear life as Appa zig-zagged through the sky, while she and Aang did their best to deflect the fire blasts coming at them from all directions.

As Appa rose high above the airships, out of range, they peered over the edge of the saddle to see what was going on. Just as Katara locked eyes on the biggest airships, a huge explosion rent the air – fire blossomed outwards as two tiny figures were thrown violently into open space. _Zuko!_

Aang instantly took Appa into a steep dive, and everyone screamed as they lifted off the saddle. Zuko’s spread-eagled figure grew closer and closer as they plummeted downwards, and time suddenly slowed down to a crawl. They were right above him, then even with him, and then Katara was reaching out a hand as he seemed to tumble helplessly in the wind just above them.

His burning-hot hand grasped at hers, and she yanked with all her might, not even caring when he crashed into her for the second time that day. _Spirits, that was close._ Katara raked her eyes over his face, too worried in the moment to remember to be mad at him, but he was focused on the open air beneath them, searching.

“Azula,” he gasped, eyes wide. Katara couldn’t quite read the emotion in his voice as they watched her plunge further into the canyon. “She’s… not gonna make it…”

Even as he said it, they saw Azula blast fire from her feet to propel herself towards the cliff-side. She dug something into the rock and brought herself to a jolting halt, and they could see her malicious smirk from miles away.

“Of course she did.” Zuko said bitterly, turning his back on her. Katara watched Azula disappear into the distance as they soared away, her mind whirling. So much had happened, so quickly… which was a shame, because she would really like to go back and finish that fight with Zuko. Before he’d shot fire at her, she’d been nonplussed by his jealous reaction – and curious – but now she was more angry than anything else. How did he expect anyone to trust him if he couldn’t control himself?

When they finally landed, after hours of flying, everyone except Katara and Zuko was obnoxiously cheerful, exhilarated by their narrow escape.

“Wow, real camping!” Aang beamed at them across the campfire as they sat down to eat. “It really seems like old times again, doesn’t it?”

“If you really want it to feel like old times, I could chase you around and try to capture you.” Zuko said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Everyone cracked up.

Some joke.

“Ha, ha.” Katara muttered, glaring down at her food. If only they knew he’d almost burnt her to a crisp earlier.

“To Zuko!” Sokka held up his drink. “Who knew after all those times he tried to snuff us out, today he’d be our hero!” Toph punched Zuko on the shoulder, smiling, and Aang nudged him good-naturedly. Some of the thunderclouds on Zuko’s face cleared, and he almost smiled.

“I’m touched,” he said softly. “I don’t deserve this.”

Katara stood up, unable to listen any longer.

“Yeah, no kidding,” she snarled at him, feeling vindictive pleasure at the shock on his face before stalking off.

“What’s with her?” She heard Sokka ask as she walked away.

“I don’t know.” Zuko said quietly, and she heard him get up to follow her.

Katara’s face burned as she picked up the pace. How dare he?! He knew exactly what her problem was! Just because they’d been attacked didn’t mean she’d lost her memory!

She reached the edge of a rocky cliff overlooking the ocean and waited for him with her arms crossed. She didn’t hear him approach, but suddenly he was speaking, in an anxious voice.

“I’m sorry about earlier. I lost my temper, and it was inexcusable.” He hesitated. “It just feels unfair – everyone seems to trust me now, and I thought you did too. Instead it seems like you hate me more than ever.”

Katara whirled around, shocked into responding.

“Oh, everyone trusts you now? I was the first person to trust you!” Katara cried, frustrated by the unjustness of it all. “Remember, back in Ba Sing Se? And you turned around and betrayed me, betrayed all of us! So don’t act like this is my fault! You’re the one who hurt me, once again. I guess I should stop being shocked by it.”

Zuko closed his eyes, like he was in pain. “What can I do to make it up to you?”

“You really want to know?” Katara shoved her face close to his, forcing him to look at her. “Hmm, maybe you could reconquer Ba Sing Se in the name of the Earth King! Or, I know! _You could bring my mother back_!”

Zuko winced, but Katara was already storming away, determined to escape to her tent. She didn’t want to see his face anymore, didn’t want to feel the mix of anger and excitement that he stirred in her.

It was hard to remember the boy at the Boiling Rock who had made her think she might be able to give him another chance.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost caught up to the chapter I'm working on - Chapter 11. After that it takes me about a week to finish a chapter, so these daily updates will cease. I know, I'm sad too. Hope you all enjoy nonetheless!

_-Zuko-_

Zuko sank to the ground where Katara had left him, burying his face in his hands. His emotions were a jumbled mess. He couldn’t believe he’d been so stupid.

Actually, he could. Hadn’t he proven before that all he ever did was make mistake after mistake? This was just one more. In a fit of jealous rage, he’d lost control and alienated Katara _again._ What if she never forgave him? Even worse, what if she figured out where his anger had come from? He hadn’t exactly been subtle. He just couldn’t help his visceral reaction to her. She’d tripped him up by turning up at training – his heart had started banging in his chest, desire and guilt warring with each other as they had been since he’d left Mai to her fate.

 All thoughts of guilt had vanished the moment Katara had smiled at Aang with a tell-tale blush of color spreading across her cheeks – to Zuko, it had felt like the ground had dropped out from beneath his feet. He’d never even considered it, never wondered for a second if Katara had a thing for the Avatar.

In hindsight, it made a lot of sense. Aang pretty obviously had a huge crush on her. What girl wouldn’t be flattered by that? _There’s no better catch than the Avatar, master of all four elements._ Zuko groaned. Aang might as well be ruler of the world, with that kind of power. _Of course she likes him. He’s an icon of goodness. He’s probably never done anything wrong in his life. Exactly the kind of person Katara would be attracted to. Unlike me._

Of course, in the moment, Zuko hadn’t been thinking any of that. He’d just gotten angry, unable to bear the way she was avoiding his eyes, looking uncomfortable. _Was she ashamed of him?_  He’d literally seen red. And he _knew_ that Katara didn’t have feelings for him, but seeing her smiling at someone else had stung in ways he hadn’t prepared for. Honestly, he was surprised he hadn’t turned Aang into a human torch right then and there, but hanging around with their group of goody-two shoes must have rubbed off on him.

One thing that had struck him as strange was Katara’s reference to her mother. Zuko could understand her anger towards him for a multitude of reasons, but that was the one tragedy in her life that he couldn’t possibly be responsible for. He’d been a child just like her when her mother had been killed. So why specifically mention it to him? Had she found a way to blame him for that too?

Zuko stared into the ocean as he mulled it over. Her mother’s death was obviously a painfully unresolved issue, just as his mother’s disappearance was for him. If only he knew more about what had happened… maybe he could help her find closure. He knew it wouldn’t make up for everything, but it might be a step in the right direction.

Zuko pushed himself back to his feet, resolving to ask Sokka for the full story. It wasn’t like Katara was in any mood to discuss it with him. On the way, he bumped into Suki, who jumped about a foot in the air.

“Oops, wrong tent!” Suki giggled nervously. Zuko eyed her in amusement.

“Sorry, do you need to talk to Sokka, too?” He asked slyly.

“Nope, not me!” Suki strode off, her movements a little too jerky to be considered casual, and Zuko shook his head, smiling. _At least some of us are having a good time. Must be nice._

Zuko entered Sokka’s tent and immediately froze, unprepared for the sight that greeted him. Sokka lay surrounded by the glow of multiple lit candles, teeth gripping a long-stemmed rose in what he probably thought was a seductive manner. When he saw Zuko, he jerked upright, ears glowing red.

“Uh, Zuko! Yes, why would I be expecting anything different? What’s on your mind?”

Choosing to ignore the spectacle taking place in front of him, Zuko choked back his embarrassment and sat down. At least Sokka wasn’t naked. Zuko didn’t think he could have kept his composure after that.

“It’s your sister,” Zuko admitted. “She hates me! I know it shouldn’t matter that much, but I care what she thinks of me.”

“Nah, she doesn’t hate you. Katara doesn’t _hate_ anyone. Except maybe some people in the Fire Nation.” Zuko raised his eyebrows and Sokka instantly tried to correct his mistake, looking panicked. “No! I mean, uh, not people who are good, but used to be bad. I mean bad people, Fire Nation people who are still bad, who’ve never been good and probably won’t be, ever!”

“Stop.” Zuko rolled his eyes, wondering if he should just jump off the cliff and end this torture now. “Listen, I know this may seem out of nowhere, but I want you to tell me what happened to your mother.”

“What?” Sokka’s face grew serious for the first time. “Why would you wanna know that?”

“Katara mentioned it before when we were imprisoned together in Ba Sing Se, and again just now when she was yelling at me. I think somehow she’s connected her anger at that to her anger at me.” _Even though she already has plenty of things to be angry at me for. Girls!_

“It’s not a day I like to remember.” Sokka’s pale blue eyes were already far away, staring at something Zuko could never see. “We were really young. It was just a normal day – we were actually in the middle of a snowball fight when the black snow began to fall. Many of the warriors had seen it before and they knew what it meant – A Fire Nation raid. We were badly outnumbered, but somehow, we managed to drive them off. As quickly as they came… they just left. I was so relieved when it was over, but I didn’t know yet what had happened. I didn’t know that we’d lost our mother.” Sokka fell silent, his constantly exuberant nature subdued for the moment. Zuko watched him pensively.

“Wait,” He said slowly. “Can you remember any details about the soldiers who raided your village? Like what the lead ship looked like?”

“Yeah…” Sokka screwed his face up, remembering. “Sea ravens. The main ship had flags with sea ravens on them.”

“The symbol of the Southern Raiders!” Zuko said triumphantly. “Thanks, Sokka.”

Abruptly, Sokka was on his feet and practically shoving Zuko out of the tent.

“No problem! Thanks for stopping by!” Zuko had only taken a few steps, torn between irritation and amusement, when Sokka stuck his head out of the tent and called Suki’s name in a loud whisper. Zuko stopped and looked back at him, exasperated.

“I’m still here!”

Sokka gulped and pulled his head back inside while Zuko headed towards Katara’s tent, grumbling. He plunked himself down on a rock outside her tent, resigned to waiting.

It was going to be a long night.

 

Zuko was sitting with his head in his hands when dawn finally arrived, bleeding color back into the world. He stretched and turned his face towards the sun, enjoying its warmth. A rustle alerted him to someone else’s presence, and he looked around to see Katara emerging from her tent, her usually clear eyes clouded with annoyance at the sight of him.

“You look terrible,” she said, glaring. Zuko took a deep breath to quell the tremors of nervousness in his chest.

“I waited out here all night.”

Katara shook out her locks of chocolate brown hair and began brushing it, making the color shine in the red glow of the rising sun. “What do you want?”

Zuko hoped his cheeks weren’t as warm as they felt. There was something strangely sensual about the way she rolled her neck back, working methodically through each tangle. But he had to focus. He had no idea how she would react to what he had to tell her.

“I know who killed your mother.” Katara froze, knuckles white around the hairbrush. “And I’m going to help you find him.”

He anxiously searched her face – initially, nothing but shock, but an instant later her eyes hardened into ice, cold fury outlining every line of her tense body. Zuko felt a strange shiver down his spine at the sound of her baleful voice.

“Let’s go.”

Without waiting for his reply, Katara strode towards the fire, hair still flowing loose down her back, to where most of the group was gathered. Zuko followed wordlessly. He’d never seen Katara this way – usually her anger was red-hot, not icy cold. That was more Mai’s style.

Zuko shrugged off the thought of Mai uncomfortably. She kept popping into his brain when he least expected it, as if to say _Remember me? The one who betrayed her Nation for you? The one who’s rotting in prison or already dead? But you don’t care, do you? All you care about is that water-bender…_

“I need to borrow Appa.”

Katara’s steely declaration broke into his guilt-ridden thoughts, her voice ringing out so that everyone stopped to look at them.

“Why? Is it your turn to take a field trip with Zuko?” Aang asked jokingly, elbowing Sokka.

“Yes, it is.” Katara said firmly. Zuko avoided eye contact with everyone except Toph.

“Oh,” Aang’s eyebrows flew up as he looked between the two of them. “What’s going on?” Zuko thought he heard suspicion hidden among the surprise in the Avatar’s voice as the boy leveled a glance his way. _Don’t worry, Avatar. There’s nothing going on to be suspicious about._ Zuko thought glumly. If only.

“We’re going to find the man who took my mother from me.” Katara stared Aang down as if daring him to argue.

“Sokka told me the story of what happened,” Zuko explained. “I know who did it and I know how to find him.”

“Um…” Aang’s face was etched with disapproval, eyebrows furrowed. “And what exactly do you think this will accomplish?”

“I knew you wouldn’t understand.” Katara turned away angrily, but Aang called her back.

“Wait, stop! I do understand. You’re feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the sand-benders when they stole Appa? How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people?” Aang held his hands out pleadingly, but now Zuko stepped forward, impatient with his peace-loving ideals.

“She needs this, Aang. This is about getting closure, and justice.”

“I don’t think so.” Aang said in disappointment. “I think it’s about getting revenge.”

“Fine, maybe it is!” Katara yelled, clenching her fists. “Maybe that’s what I need! Maybe that’s what he _deserves.”_

“Katara, you sound like Jet!” Aang cried. _Jet?_ Zuko remembered the angry Freedom Fighter he’d met in Ba Sing Se, noticing Katara’s strong reaction to the name. Her expression shifted rapidly, from shock, to pain, to anger. _Was he someone important to her?_  Zuko felt jealousy stirring is his heart again, but he beat it down. This wasn’t the time.

“It’s not the same!” Katara insisted. “Jet attacked the innocent. This man, he’s a monster.”

“Katara, she was my mother, too. But I think Aang might be right.” Sokka joined in the argument, looking conflicted.

“Then you didn’t love her the way I did!” Katara snapped at him, blue eyes flaring furiously.

“Katara!” Sokka exclaimed with a deeply hurt look.

“The monks used to say that revenge is like a two-headed rat viper.” Aang spoke up again, adopting his wise, calm monk tone of voice. “While you watch your enemy go down, you’re being poisoned yourself.”

“That’s cute,” Zuko snorted in derision, “But this isn’t an air temple preschool. It’s the real world.”

“Now that I know he’s out there… now that I know we can find him… I feel like I have no choice.” Katara said grimly.

“Katara, you do have a choice. Forgiveness.” Aang looked at her with wide, shining eyes, so innocent, so hopeful.

“That’s the same as doing nothing!” Zuko shot back at him, disgusted.

“No, it’s not. It’s easy to do nothing, but it’s hard to forgive.”

“It’s not just hard.” Katara’s voice was low and unyielding as she turned away. “It’s impossible.” She left the rest of them standing there, and Zuko gave her space as he followed her. He doubted any of the others would see it the way he did. He alone could understand this dark side of Katara, a side he hadn’t even known she had. But now that it was out, he had to admit…

She took his breath away even more.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay folks, after this update it'll be a few more days until the next chapter... and things are gonna be heating up! Enjoy!

The babbling stream whispered playfully to her, but for once Katara couldn’t be soothed by the sound of rushing water, or the flow of its current. She stared into the distance unseeingly, her argument with Aang and Sokka replaying itself on a loop.

_You sound like Jet!_

_Katara!_

_You have a choice. Forgiveness._

_That’s the same as doing nothing!_

Who would have thought that she and Zuko would be on the same side in any fight? Did that make her a bad person? Because no matter how much she hated disappointing Aang, there was no denying it. She couldn’t forgive or forget. When Zuko had told her he knew who killed her mother, it had felt like some monster awakening in her, howling for blood. All the pain and fury she’d tamped down within herself had risen to the surface, filling her veins with ice. There had never been a possibility for revenge before. Now that it was so tantalizingly close, Katara could think of nothing else.

Lost in her brooding, Katara didn’t even flinch when Zuko was suddenly there, folding himself down onto the ground beside her.

“Everyone is worried about you,” Zuko informed her casually. “Except for Toph. She’s all for it.”

“It doesn’t matter. I have to do this.”

“Even if the Avatar doesn’t agree?”

Katara glanced over at him. He was watching her intently, as if the question was of utmost importance. She couldn’t detect any signs of judgement or disappointment in his eyes, but some other unidentifiable emotion burned there, something that made her heart beat faster in her chest.  

“Yes.”

Zuko nodded, accepting that, and let the subject drop. They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes. Zuko simply observed the scenery as he basked in the sun, seemingly unconcerned with the current state of affairs. _I guess if anyone could understand how I feel, it would be Zuko._ At least she knew what had happened to her mother. From the rumors, no one knew where Zuko’s mother was, or if she was even still alive. _It must be hell to live with that kind of uncertainty. And to know that it’s probably your own father’s fault._

_There I go again, feeling sorry for Zuko._ Katara grimaced. _If I could just stop thinking about what a horrible life he’s had, I could hate him in peace._

_Except I don’t hate him anymore._

She was angry at him, and unsure how to go about trusting someone who might light her on fire if he lost his temper – although she couldn’t exactly ignore the fact that he’d saved her life twice now. But he was still dangerous, moody, and unpredictable. A thorn in her side. A distraction. A dark cloud among their merry band of travelers. Despite all that, he apparently understood this part of her that screamed for revenge, which reveled in the idea of hurting the man who had taken her mother from her. And he didn’t judge her for it in the least. He’d said she needed this.

He was right.

“We’ll leave tonight,” Katara rested her chin on her knees and listened to the distant sound of her friends’ urgent voices. “As long as you don’t mind everyone being mad at you, too.”

Zuko snorted in reply. “When has that ever mattered to me?”

 

Much later, when even Sokka and Suki had fallen asleep, and the world was still, Katara emerged from her tent. Clad completely in black, she was only visible as a dark spot in the night. She crept towards Zuko’s tent and whistled quietly before pulling open the flap. Moonlight pooled inside, revealing Zuko sitting cross-legged on his cot, and Katara’s breath caught her in throat. His skin seemed to glow a brilliant white as his eyes met hers, their golden hue glittering with either excitement or nervousness - Katara wasn’t sure. Zuko rose and silently accompanied her as they snuck through camp, heading towards Appa’s sleeping form. As they drew near, Katara thought she detected a slight noise at the same moment Zuko snapped his head around to stare at a mossy rock that sat at the edge of the clearing. Before either of them could move, there was a rush of air, and Aang gracefully somersaulted into sight.

“So you were just gonna take Appa anyway?” Aang asked indignantly. Katara crossed her arms, refusing to give in to his guilt-trip.

“Yes.”

“It’s okay, because I forgive you.” Aang said sweetly. “That give you any ideas?”

“Don’t try to stop us.” Why couldn’t he understand that she had to do this?

“I wasn’t planning to.” Aang’s face had gone sober, brown eyes gazing steadily into hers. The concern and tenderness in his expression was unbearable, and Katara turned away, climbing onto Appa’s furry head as Aang continued speaking. “This is a journey you need to take. You need to face this man. But when you do, please don’t choose revenge. Let your anger out, and then let it go. Forgive him.”

“Okay,” Zuko said sarcastically as he scrambled up to join Katara. “We’ll be sure to do that, guru goody-goody.”

“Thanks for understanding, Aang.” Katara averted her eyes. She couldn’t take another second of his peace and love spiel. “Yip yip.”

Appa took off with a huff of air, leaving Aang alone to watch them soar away.

Katara let out a deep sigh of relief as the starry sky surrounded them, soothing and quiet. It had been hard to resist blowing up on Aang. Fury had been pulsing through her all day and night, making her agitated and impatient, and if she’d had to hear one more speech about forgiveness… Well, it wouldn’t have been the first time she’d made Aang cry.

_Aang and I are on the same page on a lot of issues, but there’s a part of me that isn’t… good. I never thought I could have this kind of reaction inside me… but I also never thought I’d find out who my mother’s murderer was. Things change._

Zuko hadn’t spoken since his parting comment to Aang, and Katara was immensely grateful. There were too many conflicting emotions running through her as it was. If she added her complicated feelings towards Zuko in the mix, she might really lose it. _Just focus on the mission and worry about the rest later,_ she told herself, trying to get a grip.

“So, do you have some sort of plan?” Katara asked Zuko over the noise of the wind, without turning around. There was a moment of silence, and then his husky voice was speaking directly into her ear. Katara froze as his breath tickled her neck, raising goosebumps on her skin.

“We need to find the Fire Navy communication tower. All the navy’s movements are coordinated by messenger hawk. And every tower has to be up to date on where everyone is deployed.”

“Do you know where it is?” Katara was afraid to turn and meet his eyes. He was too close, and she was in too much turmoil to conceal the way he was affecting her.

“Yes. Keep heading west.”

“And once we find the communication tower, we bust in and take the information we need?” She hoped the eagerness in her voice wasn’t too obvious.

“Not exactly. We need to be stealthy and make sure no one spots us – otherwise they’ll warn the Southern Raiders long before we reach them.”

“Oh.” Katara fell silent. There were a few blessed minutes of quiet before Zuko spoke again.

“Did you sleep at all?”

“No.”

“Why don’t you let me take over for a while? We’re hours away, even on Appa.”

“I can’t sleep, Zuko.” Katara stated bleakly.

“Then at least lay down and rest. It’s better than nothing.” His voice was pleading, like he was actually worried about her. Katara had paced around her tent all night, too twisted up inside to make any attempt at sleep, but her anticipation had eased slightly once they were on their way. Maybe she could rest for just a little while.

“Okay,” she sighed, turning to face Zuko for the first time. He was only inches away, leaning over the edge of the saddle – maybe to hear her better, or maybe not. Katara hadn’t forgotten what Toph had told her about Zuko, even though that day seemed like months ago. She hadn’t believed it, not really, but ever since Zuko had made those comments about her and Aang… she’d wondered. _Maybe Aang has some competition!_ Toph had laughed. _Seems like you two needed some alone time,_ Zuko had said with an ugly look on his face. And even though Katara was trying, it was hard to keep ignoring her body’s reaction to him.

Like right now. When she turned, and he was right there, studying her with a concerned expression that he quickly hid, she felt like she’d been walloped over the head. The moonlight leached the color from their surroundings, making him look like some ethereal creature of the night, with his snowy-white skin and silky, raven-black hair. _He really is beautiful._

Katara felt heat flood her cheeks at the thought and abruptly clambered over the saddle to hide her face from him. Zuko took her place at the reins without a word, leaving Katara hoping the soft moonlight and russet tone of her skin had disguised her blush. She stretched out with a sigh, watching the breeze ruffle Zuko’s hair as her eyelids grew heavier…

_I must be losing my mind._

Katara opened her eyes a few hours later, feeling groggy and unrested. The inky night sky was still alight with stars, a brilliant tapestry of light, making her feel almost peaceful as the cool breeze tugged at her hair and whispered across her skin.  

For about three seconds. Then Katara remembered where she was going, and why.

And who was with her.

Katara rolled over, stretching, to check on Zuko. He was reclining against Appa, moonlight gleaming off his dark hair, but when he heard her moving he sent an inquisitive glance over his shoulder.

“I was about to wake you. We’re almost there.” Zuko pointed into the distance, where Katara could just barely make out the shadowy outline of a tower, rising up out of the sea.

All the painful impatience and desire Katara had been holding back rushed to the forefront of her mind. Just this one last step, and she would know where the murderer was.

“Excellent. How do we get in? And where are we going to hide Appa?”

“The tower is built on an island – we’ll just have to hope there’s some kind of landmark big enough to conceal him. And don’t worry, I’ve got a couple different ideas that can get us inside. I’ve had a lot of practice,” he said dryly.

They drifted back up above the clouds, waiting until they were directly over land to leave their wet, freezing cover. There was a conveniently large hill a few hundred feet away from the tower, and Appa hunkered down there with a long groan. As Zuko gave Appa a grateful goodbye pat, Katara wondered if maybe this was all a little too easy. They crept towards the tower, using the rocky landscape to escape detection, and her suspicion seemed confirmed – two soldiers exited the building just a few moments after they paused to breathe.

Fleet-footed as usual, Zuko quietly sprinted forward to catch the door as the soldiers disappeared around the corner. Katara ran after him with trepidation in her heart. If they were caught at this stage, she might never be able to track down her mother’s killer. Hopefully they weren’t walking straight into a trap.

They traversed the corridors on silent feet, heading to the top of the tower, where Zuko had said all incoming and outgoing messages were kept. Ears pricked for footsteps, Katara and Zuko immediately heard the _creeeak_ of a door opening. Katara had taken one step backward by the time Zuko whipped around and dragged her into a nearby room that turned out to be a broom closet.

Face to face in the semi-darkness, Katara could feel his hot breath mingling with her own, his hand still gripping hers with unnatural heat. _I wonder what he’s thinking? Does being this close affect him, too?_ If the light from under the door were a little brighter, she might be able to tell.

_It’s a good thing it’s not,_ Katara thought wryly, aware of her frantically thumping heart, racing not because of the danger outside, but the danger in front of her. _This is Zuko._ Zuko. _The banished Fire Prince, who can’t seem to pick a side, who’s nice to me one day and furious the next? Why does my pulse leap and my skin burn when he’s around? It’s like my body doesn’t listen to a thing my brain is telling it. I’d always assumed my path would lead me towards Aang, someday… but he’s never made me feel like_ this _._

“I think they’re gone,” Zuko breathed, and Katara tried to pay attention – it was hard when the sound of his throaty voice made it clear his lips were only inches from hers. She didn’t reply, her heart still thumping painfully. What would it feel like, to kiss him? Were his lips as warm as the rest of his skin? He was such an intense person - she couldn’t imagine him kissing her in the sweet, soft way that Aang had.

Katara felt a sharp stab of guilt. She and Aang hadn’t promised each other anything, but… _I shouldn’t be thinking like this. It would kill Aang, or make him kill Zuko, and then we’d_ never _put an end to this war. We can’t afford to have the master of the elements in emotional turmoil when we’re only weeks away from the comet._

Besides, it wasn’t like she was in _love_ with Zuko… nor he with her. It didn’t matter if he made her shivery inside, if it was hard to look away from him sometimes, if she ached to bridge the remaining distance between them and brush her lips against his…

“Katara?”

She drew a deep, shuddering breath as his voice broke into her thoughts and shattered them like a pane of glass.

“Yes, sorry. I guess I froze up a little. From the shock.”

“Really?” Zuko asked doubtfully. “That’s not like you.”

Katara laughed – a quiet, strained chuckle. “I don’t feel like me today.”

There was a short pause.

“Are you sure you want to go through with this?” Zuko squeezed the hand that he was still holding, and Katara swallowed painfully. Was she sure she wanted to go after her mother’s killer? Absolutely. The real question was - was she sure she wanted to follow the path that had been laid out in front of her? That hazy, post-war vision where she continued to travel the world with the Avatar, being with him as everyone surely expected?

She couldn’t answer that question yet. But for what he was asking, she could. It wasn’t even a hard decision.

“Yes.”

Zuko pulled the door open without another word, and they continued their journey to the top of the tower.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm SO sorry this is one is short. I have a ton planned for the next couple chapters, and I wanted some parts to be from Katara's point of view and others from Zuko, so that's why I had to cut this one off early. Hope you all still enjoy! By the way, the next chapter will feature a certain eye-opening conversation about Ba Sing Se!

_-Zuko-_

It was a miracle they hadn’t run into anyone yet, even at this late hour. Zuko was on tenterhooks, wondering how long their luck would hold, constantly aware of Katara’s presence at his shoulder.

_What happened in there?_

The instant that door had closed behind them, Zuko had felt a change in the air. Katara was right _there,_ her hand still encased in his and making no attempt to withdraw it. Her cool skin was a soothing balm, but the way her breathing had quickened, the long delay in her reply, and her tempting proximity – it all caused the fire in his veins to awaken with the force of a raging inferno. If she’d given him even the slightest sign of encouragement, he would have acted. He wanted to bury his hands in her thick, silky waves of hair and press her against the wall, eliminating the space between their bodies… Zuko ached to taste her lips, to show her how he felt without having to say the words.

But the silence had dragged on too long, and she’d done nothing, said nothing.

Zuko couldn’t bring himself to take the leap. Because if he did, and she didn’t want it, or felt pressured, it would kill him. He wanted her to want him with the same breath-taking intensity that he felt for her. He didn’t want Ba Sing Se to be lurking in the back of her mind… the way it always seemed to be.

_What if she never truly forgives me?_

“Zuko!” Katara hissed irritably in his ear, startling him.

“What?!” He whispered, listening for sounds of approaching soldiers. He’d gotten a bit lost in his own head for a moment – not the safest thing to do during a break-in.

“That was the third time I said your name. Look.” Zuko followed her pointed finger to a vent situated high up on the metal wall of the corridor. “Can we climb through the air ducts?”

“Good idea,” Zuko said, although the idea of being in another dark, cramped space with her made him nervous. “We’ll have to be extremely quiet. Here, boost me and then I’ll pull you up.”

“Are you sure?” Katara gave him an assessing look. Zuko frowned at her, insulted.

“Of course I’m sure! Why would you ask that?”

Katara shushed him as his voice rose above a whisper, holding her hands up apologetically.

“Never mind! Come on, let’s just do it.” She laced her fingers together and crouched down, planting her feet in a firm stance. _Excellent form,_ Zuko thought sourly as he placed his foot in her hold and reached up, easing open the metal grate. Katara heaved him upwards with all her might, giving him the last few inches he needed to haul himself inside. The duct was only a few inches wider than Zuko was, and he had to army-crawl forward until there was a crossroads of sorts where he could turn around.

When he stuck his head back into the hallway, Katara was gone.

Someone else waiting for him, arms crossed as she tapped her foot impatiently.

“Azula!” Zuko shouted viciously, tense with sheer, blind panic. “Where is she?!”

Azula scowled, golden eyes glinting with pure hatred. “By ‘she’, I hope you mean Mai. Before I threw her in prison, she made it quite clear where her loyalties lie. Very touching stuff. I suppose she and your little Water Tribe peasant will have plenty to talk about.”

Zuko clenched his jaw, enraged by Azula’s haughty, sneering voice. It spoke to a lifetime of memories involving her inherent need to terrify and manipulate anyone she met. She knew she had the upper hand. He was cramped in the duct with little way to defend himself if she chose to make her move. She could have killed him twice already, but no. Azula wanted to make him suffer.

“Where… is… Katara.” He ground out, inching backwards until he could brace his feet against the curve of the air duct.

“You’re so pathetic, Zuzu. Don’t you even care that I’m here to kill you?” Azula smirked, somehow managing to appear even more insane than usual.

“So _DO IT!”_ Zuko bellowed, catapulting himself out of the vent with an accompanying surge of fury. He didn’t have much space to maneuver, but it was enough to send him flying towards Azula, her defensive fire-blast missing him by a hair.

Even taken by surprise, Azula had an astonishingly quick reaction time.

Zuko crashed into her, and they slammed into the opposite wall with a sickening crunch. Azula instantly crumpled onto him, and Zuko threw her dead weight off, scrambling to his feet. He stared at her unconscious body. She had taken the brunt of the impact, but his nose had received a blow from her elbow, and it bled freely. Zuko pinched it shut and bent down to drag Azula away, maybe lock her in a closet somewhere… but the sight of the ruby-red pool of blood growing beneath her head was enough to stop him in his tracks.

It was strange. In the heat of battle, he’d actively tried to kill her, just as she’d done to him. Now she lay bleeding out on the ground, giving him the perfect opportunity… but he didn’t know if he could bring himself to let her die. She was still his sister.

Zuko heard the sound of someone approaching at a run and turned to see Katara come skidding around the corner.

Intense, overwhelming relief enveloped him like a warm blanket. Katara had a gash across her forehead, and her clothes looked charred in places, but she was otherwise unharmed.

“Zuko! You’re okay?” Katara looked from him to Azula and back again, blue eyes wide.

“Yes, I’m fine. What happened to you!?” Zuko couldn’t stop staring at her, shame coursing through him as he thanked his lucky stars that she was all right, that Azula hadn’t hurt her. _Why did I leave her alone?_

“Azula took me by surprise,” Katara growled irritably, wiping a trickle of blood from her eyebrow. “Two of her goons tried to interrogate me, to figure out what we were doing here. I was able to knock them out and sneak upstairs - I don’t think the soldiers here knew Azula was coming. Anyway, the point is I found the place we’re looking for.”

“All by yourself?” Zuko raised his eyebrows, impressed. _I guess she’s not the kind of girl who needs rescuing._

Katara smiled cunningly. “People don’t realize that water is all around them.” Her eyes shifted back to Azula. “Should we… do something?”

“That’s what I was trying to decide. She’s my sister, but… she’s crazy. I don’t know what to do.” Zuko looked away, feeling conflicted. Was he a monster for wanting her to die or selfish for wanting to save her?

“It’s your decision. Like you said, she’s your sister.” Katara’s voice was grim with empathy. “You didn’t judge me for wanting to hunt down my mother’s murderer – how could I judge you for stopping Azula from hurting anyone else? And how could I judge you for not wanting to hurt your own sister? Whatever you decide… I understand.”

Zuko stared down at Azula’s motionless body, paralyzed by the agony of indecision. Emotions and memories battered his mind, vying for attention. A thousand images of anger and pain and jealousy. But once upon a time, Azula had been Zuko’s little sister instead of her father’s daughter… and they had loved each other.

Zuko groaned in frustration, kneading his head with a fist. _Major headache coming on. I wish Uncle were here._

“Tie her up,” he said hoarsely. He could feel Katara looking at him. “Heal her. Then let’s get out of here.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF. I loved writing this so damn much - I hope you all like it! I had a busy Easter weekend so I'm sorry it's a little late. I'm super nervous to see the response! Enjoy!

_-Katara-_

The rising sun lit up the blanket of clouds around them, painting the sky a bloody orange. Katara let the light wash over her as Appa soared through it, hoping it’s brilliance would stoke the fires of her rage, cooled to a mere smolder since they’d saved Azula.

Saved. Azula.

_I can’t believe we did that._

Sure, Katara had told Zuko she understood his indecision, and she _did,_ but… honestly, she’d expected him to leave Azula to rot. After everything the Fire Princess had done, with unfeeling arrogance, to Aang, to her, and especially to Zuko… her own brother…

It was unfathomable to Katara that Zuko, of all people, would choose mercy. She would’ve thought that getting revenge on Azula would be second-best only to getting revenge on his father, the true culprit behind his tortured upbringing. Instead, Zuko had kept a look-out while she healed Azula’s more serious injuries, his spine tense and ramrod straight the entire time.

He hadn’t spoken a word since the tower, and neither had Katara. His eyes were so distant – it seemed wrong to break into his reverie. She knew he was right behind her, but as she sat clutching Appa’s reins in the chilly morning air, Katara felt alone. She’d been riding on the certainty that Zuko, at least, agreed with her. Even if the only member of the group that was on board with her revenge mission was an exiled Fire Prince who used to be their enemy… that had felt like enough. Who else could understand the never-ending fire that burned within her?

But he’d been handed his would-be murderer on a silver platter, and he’d let her go.

_She’s his sister,_ Katara reminded herself. _It’s a completely different situation._

_Is it? Or is that just what you’re going to tell yourself so you can sleep at night?_  A voice that sounded suspiciously like Toph whispered in the back of her mind.

Katara clenched her jaw stubbornly. She couldn’t back out now. At the very least, she was going to look her mother’s killer in the eyes. After that…

Fury sparked in her veins, subduing the murmurs of doubt.

_After that, he’s going to pay._  

 

Hours later, Zuko finally spoke.

“You should get some rest. We’ll be there in a few hours. You’ll need all your strength.”

Katara’s eyes were dragging with tiredness, but she doubted her thoughts would quiet enough for her to actually fall asleep.

“Don’t worry about my strength. I have plenty. I’m not the helpless little girl I was when I first faced him.”

She heard Zuko shift behind her, and his voice was much closer.

“Sokka told me what he remembered, but I don’t understand why your mother was targeted. She wasn’t a water-bender, was she?”

“No.” Katara bowed her head, his words echoing through a lifetime of wondering the same thing. “I don’t know. He wanted some information from her. She said she would tell him if he let me go. I ran as fast as I could to find Dad, but we were too late. When we got there, the man was gone. And so was she.”

“Your mother was a brave woman,” Zuko said solemnly.

“I know.” Katara grasped the necklace at her throat, eyes stinging with unshed tears.

They fell silent. Katara fought the urge to turn around and look at him. It occurred to her, and not for the first time, that the two of them were truly alone. A week ago, Katara could never have imagined herself on a revenge mission with Zuko, and she _definitely_ couldn’t have imagined herself trusting him. At least, enough to not throw her off Appa in the middle of the night.

_Don’t kid yourself,_ the Toph of her subconscious chided. _You trust him more than that._  

_Attraction and trust are not the same thing,_ Katara reminded herself. She contemplated bringing up all the things that had been festering between them, while no one was around to interrupt. She felt guilty about how she’d treated him. Everything Zuko had done since he’d joined them practically screamed reform – aside from his bizarre outburst about Aang – and yet there was a part of her that couldn’t let go of the past.

It was just so hard to forget the memory of Ba Sing Se. That sickening, anguished feeling of betrayal burned in her stomach every time she thought about it - the image of Zuko’s angry face, the look of jubilation on Azula’s when she struck Aang down. If not for the spirit water, Zuko would have been an accomplice in the Avatar’s murder that night. How was she supposed to get over that? Why did it seem so easy for everyone else?

Katara sighed deeply, longing for a solution to the twisted ache in her heart.

“You okay?” Zuko asked quietly. Katara shook her head.

“Not really.”

There was a short pause.

“Can I… do anything?” Zuko’s voice was painfully hesitant.

Katara twisted around to look at him, searching his face. He sat with his arms folded over the edge of Appa’s saddle, and his eyes were liquid gold in the sunlight, meeting her stare with an apprehensive look.

“What?”

“In Ba Sing Se…” Katara trailed off, searching for words. Zuko immediately stiffened, his face hardening into an inscrutable mask. “I wanted to give you a chance. You made me believe there was good inside you.”

Zuko looked away, his jaw clenched. He didn’t respond.

“You’re angry,” Katara realized, surprised.

“Yeah. I am.”

“Why?”

Zuko was silent for so long that Katara was sure he wasn’t going to answer, and she felt ashamed. She’d wanted to talk about it, not drive him away. She was tired of the same old bitterness that plagued her when she looked at him.

“I’m frustrated because you’re never going to forgive me for that day,” Zuko finally said, and her eyes instantly snapped back to his face. He was gazing out into the horizon with a grim expression.

“And you think I should, after what you did?” Katara asked with a trace of incredulity.

“What about what you did?” Zuko countered.

“Me?!” Katara spluttered, thrown off. “What did I do?”

“Come on, Katara. You blamed me for everything. I was the ‘face of the enemy’, remember?” He met her gaze with a bitter expression.

“I told you I was sorry about that!”

“Yeah, but did you mean it? It seems obvious you still see me that way – otherwise, you would have forgiven me like everyone else.”

“So you think you’re entitled to my forgiveness?” Katara asked heatedly, starting to get angry as well.

“No! But I don’t know what you want me to _do!”_  Zuko admitted roughly, balling his hands into fists. “I know I made the wrong choice. It’s haunted me ever since. I betrayed you, and the Avatar, and my uncle, who did everything he could to help me, who treated me like his own son. I thought by going home, and assuming my rightful place in the world, I would finally be happy. But even though my father accepted me, and my people thought I was a hero… I was miserable! It made me realize how blinded I’d been, how much I’d been lying to myself about what was right and wrong. All I’ve done since then is try to make up for it. I left my home, my girlfriend, my family, betrayed my nation, and saved all of your lives… I turned my back on everything I’ve ever known. But that’s still not enough for you.”

Katara couldn’t look away from him as he ended his tirade with a deep, unsteady sigh. Her anger had evaporated. She’d never heard him say so much at once, never noticed that thread of pain woven into his voice. Was it always there? Had she been too busy pushing him away to notice?

Slowly, with her heart pumping furiously, she stood and climbed onto the saddle with him. He avoided looking at her, his eyes concealed behind strands of raven-black hair. Katara kneeled beside him.

There was a swooping, shivery feeling in her stomach, as always when she was close to him. A feeling that she’d tried so hard to ignore. She’d clung to her righteous anger, convinced herself that she could never forgive him for what he’d done.

The truth was… he hadn’t done a single thing to prove her distrust in him. And she knew it. He’d shown her over and over again that he’d changed – teaching Aang fire-bending, going with Sokka and her to rescue their father, comforting her, protecting her, and supporting her.

Maybe she’d just been too scared to let it go, to let him in. It had hurt her more than she’d ever admit when he’d betrayed them. She was afraid of feeling like that again. But she was so tired of fighting – tired of fighting him, tired of fighting herself.

“Zuko?” He still hadn’t looked up. “…I’m sorry.”

His head jerked up, golden eyes locking on hers with startling speed. He didn’t speak. Katara stared back, drinking him in. His face had become so familiar to her – the angry slant of his one good eyebrow, the angle of his jaw, the curve of his lips… the swath of scarred skin that she’d once offered to heal. She was glad she hadn’t. He wouldn’t be Zuko without it.

The silence between them seemed to change, to solidify. Katara found herself leaning closer to him, somehow sure that if she didn’t do something, the moment would end, and she would never know what could have happened.

So, acting on pure instinct, she reached out a trembling hand, heart banging in her chest, and cupped his cheek. She felt him go rigid with shock as she gently slid her thumb along the edge of his scar, mimicking the way she’d touched him all those months ago in the crystal cave.

Katara wasn’t prepared for his response.

Zuko’s eyes suddenly blazed with emotion, and before she could even take a breath, he wrapped a hand around her wrist and yanked her to him. His lips crashed against hers, hot and insistent, and she surrendered to him with a kind of furious pleasure. _This_ was what she’d been waiting for. Every inch of his strong, hard body was pressed against hers, his burning skin causing tendrils of warmth to coil in her belly.

Intertwined, Zuko eased her onto her back, and a ragged breath tore from his lips when she buried her fingers in his silky hair. She had no real idea what she was doing, but she knew she wanted him closer. Zuko deepened the kiss, one scorching hand sliding along her hip as the other gripped her by the back of the neck. Katara shivered, amazed at how good it felt when he touched her. She could feel her pulse hammering in her throat, and Zuko’s lips left hers for the first time to press a soft kiss to her neck. She felt him smile against her skin, and a little bubble of happiness swelled and burst in her chest. Every nerve in her body felt alive, thrumming with excitement.

_Why was I fighting so hard against this?_

A wide-eyed, innocent face popped into her head, and she immediately stilled. Zuko felt the difference, and he pulled back to look at her with an anxious expression.

“What is it?” He murmured huskily. She didn’t reply, feeling guilt twist in her stomach, ruining the absolute bliss of the moment. Zuko’s face fell at the look on hers, and in a heartbeat he had released her, rolling over to sit beside her instead. Katara pushed herself upright, feeling achingly bereft without his warmth.

“I’m sorry,” he said with a catch in his voice, avoiding her eyes again.

“I’m not.” Katara stared at him, wishing Aang could have stayed out of sight, out of mind for just a few more minutes.

“Then, why…?” Zuko glanced at her sideways, a blush staining his white skin.

_What a lovely sight._

“Well…” Katara hesitated. “It’s Aang.”

“Of course it is,” Zuko said bitterly, his mouth twisting into a pained grimace.

“No! I mean… look, I never promised him anything. I don’t feel… that way about him.” Katara mumbled, intensely embarrassed. This was not a conversation she’d ever envisioned having. Especially with Zuko.

Zuko, who’d only a minute ago been trailing his lips across her neck…

_Focus._

“Okay…” Zuko said slowly, his expression revealing nothing. “What way do you feel about him, then?”

“He’s my best friend. We have a really strong bond. I mean, I was the first person to find him after a hundred years. I saved him, and he’s saved us all a million times over. We would die for each other,” Katara explained in a rush, struggling to define what Aang was to her. “But…”

“But?”

“It’s not like… I’m not in _love_ with him, or anything. Not like that.”

“Like what?” Zuko asked with a trace of a smile. Katara glared at him.

“Are you making fun of me?”

“No.” Zuko chuckled, and Katara almost choked in surprise. She didn’t think she’d ever heard him laugh before. “I’m… happy, I think.”

“Why’s that?” Katara asked innocently, but inside her heart was racing again.

“Guess.” Zuko held a hand out hesitantly, and after a moment, Katara took it, intertwining her fingers with his.

“You really were jealous of Aang, weren’t you?” she marveled, watching him grimace in response to her question.

“Yes,” he admitted. “Not anymore, though,” he added smugly. Katara rolled her eyes. “I mean, you two never… did that… right?”

“Um… he did kiss me… a couple times.” Zuko scowled. “But it didn’t come close to being like that.” Katara blushed. “He _never_ made me feel like that.”

Zuko gazed at her, eyes blazing again, and Katara felt her stomach flip-flop as he leaned in, brushing his lips along her jawline.

“Good,” he whispered hotly in her ear, and she shivered in pleasure.

Tomorrow, Katara would have to remember where she was going, and why… but for today, she was going to forget about death and revenge and infatuated air-benders.

_Today,_ she thought, idly tracing patterns on Zuko’s ivory skin, _I’m just going to live._


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY I'm sorry this took so long! I cut the inside of my left pinky finger the end of last week and had to get six stitches! It sucks, cuz, like, I need my pinky to type bro. Luckily I get the stitches out in 8 days, so only one more chapter to slog through with this nonsense. Hope you all enjoy!

_-Zuko-_

Zuko sat holding Appa’s reins in a state of complete shock. Night had fallen not long ago. Katara had finally succumbed to sleep, but he would have to wake her soon.

A nervous tremor ran through his body. For the last hour, he’d been vacillating between intense feelings of pure joy and utter despair. The part of him that had longed for this kind of closeness with her was doing cartwheels inside him, over the moon. He would never in a million years have guessed that she would forgive him, let alone want him the same way he wanted her. That was truly a miracle.

On the other hand, now that it was a reality instead of a daydream… Zuko couldn’t help but be afraid of the consequences. If this was something real, something that would last… there were many obstacles in their path. Aang, for one. Zuko didn’t know how exactly strong the Avatar’s feelings for Katara were, but odds were he would be less than pleased. Not to mention what everyone else in their lives would think. Sokka, Toph, Uncle, Hakoda…and Mai.

_She’ll hate me,_ Zuko thought wretchedly. _She gave up everything for me._

Mai had always been there for him. She had a dark sense of humor to match his own, and was lethal in her own right, even without fire-bending. She was a Fire Nation noble who knew almost everything about him. More than that, she knew _him._ In many ways, she was his perfect match.

But she’d never once set his blood on fire the way Katara did. Was that important enough to choose a road paved with difficulties? Would it be selfish of him? If they somehow won this war, and Zuko was back in line for the throne, after Uncle…would he be allowed to be with her? He couldn’t recall even one instance of royalty marrying outside the Fire Nation.

_Marriage._ He needed to slow down. They’d only kissed one time.

_But what a kiss…_

Zuko glanced back at Katara’s sleeping form, his emotions swinging back towards happiness as he recalled the feeling of her hands in his hair, her all-too-willing body against his. It had been even better than he’d imagined – better than his fantasies, and much better than all those dispassionate kisses with Mai. He’d never felt such an intense desire for Mai’s touch, or felt that desire from her. But when Katara had touched him, it was like a raging inferno. Unstoppable, uncontrollable.

Zuko shook himself, feeling warmer than usual. He needed to focus on their mission – if he let Katara distract him too much, one of them could get hurt, and that was the last thing he wanted. He would put away his excited, nervous feelings until the two of them had the luxury of talking things through. Which, hopefully, would be soon.

Zuko pulled his telescope out and slowly scanned the horizon, checking for ships for what felt like the hundredth time. A flash of red finally caught his eye, illuminated by the full moon.

“Katara!” Zuko shot up and scaled the saddle to shake her arm. Her eyes opened almost at once, clear blue irises reflecting the brilliant moonlight. Their glow made Zuko catch his breath – like she was really some spirit, come to take him away to the Spirit World. She blinked once, focusing.

“We’re here. See those sea raven flags?” He handed her the telescope. “It’s the Southern Raiders.”     

Katara searched the dark ocean that stretched endlessly in front of them, her knuckles white on the telescope. Zuko watched her worriedly.

Despite all his snarky comments to Aang when they’d departed, he wondered if the boy was right about Katara. The desire for revenge burned strongly in her, but that could change when she came face to face with this man. Katara was fiercely loyal, unwaveringly brave, and eternally generous. She was also quick to anger, and slow to forgive. He really didn’t know _what_ she would do when she faced her mother’s murderer, and he didn’t think she knew either. But Zuko would have bet good money that Katara wasn’t going to turn out to be a killer - any more than he had, faced with a similar decision. When it came right down to it, Zuko couldn’t kill his sister in cold blood. It was hard to imagine Katara holding more anger in her heart than him.

He wasn’t going to assume anything, though. Katara had been surprising – and frustrating – him from the very beginning.

“I see it.” Katara interrupted his musings, her voice low and steady. “Let’s go.”

Her face was set in determination, shoulders stiff as she tied her hair back. It was hard to believe this same girl had looked at him with eyes full of emotion only hours ago. But he understood. She needed to let the anger fuel her. He was no stranger to that strategy.

Zuko grabbed Appa’s reins and gradually brought them down. Appa sank into the freezing ocean with a low grumble, and just as they submerged, Katara raised her arms. She held the water back by sheer force of will, forming a roiling pocket of air around them. Zuko pretended indifference, but it was slightly unnerving to see fish of all shapes and sizes swimming silently, mere feet away from him.

As Appa dove underneath the ship, Katara drew one of her arms back and made a series of quick, twisting motions – a moment later, Zuko saw a Fire-Nation soldier being dragged into the icy depths, presumably from the ship above them. They broke the surface on the other side, and Zuko could only wait and watch in admiration as Katara threw her arms up, brow furrowed over determined azure eyes. Two huge, frothy waves rose on either side of them, and Appa rode the crest of water as they crashed into the ship from the opposite direction. The unsuspecting soldiers were mostly swept overboard, and Katara catapulted from Appa’s back, landing with a vengeance on the deck.

One man still remained, and he moved into a fire-bending stance with a grim expression. Zuko had leapt down from Appa only a moment after Katara, but she’d already shot a jet of water at the soldier, knocking him overboard to join his comrades.

Zuko ran after her as she lightly sprinted up the stairs, amazed by the furious energy she exuded. Of course, he had his own experience battling her under the light of the moon in the Northern Water Tribe, and it hadn’t been pleasant. Back then, it had been a serious blow to his ego, but now… he could have watched her fight all night. Water-bending was nothing like fire-bending – it was like the water itself, all sinuous and smooth. And Katara was a perfect example of its might.

It was strange, because people didn’t usually treat Katara as if she were powerful, when she clearly was. She’d removed the threat of the soldiers with precision and ferocity – Zuko hadn’t needed lift a finger.

In the back of his mind, the part that wasn’t keeping a close eye on the situation, his emotions boiled. Respect, and awe, that his family’s regime of terror couldn’t crush the last Southern water-bender, who grew up to be a master of her element. Also, guilt for that same reason. That she _had_ to grow up the way she did because of his family as well, without a mother, without a teacher, and without peace. The end result was this passionate girl, an unshakable pillar of strength and determination. But the means…  couldn’t be justified. _If only I’d known what my family legacy truly was, all along… nothing but war and suffering._   

The two of them went skidding around a corner, and a man dressed in uniform came flying out of an open doorway, just missing Katara before crashing into Zuko, who hurriedly shoved the soldier back inside and slammed the door shut behind him. They ran on, barely breaking stride.

When they reached the top level, they slowed to a halt, breathing heavily. Zuko caught her eye and locked his gaze on hers. Her ocean-blue eyes, ironically, held nothing but fire as she stared back at him, sweat beading on her temples. Locks of her damp hair clung to her neck, and her tense stance hovered constantly on the edge of shifting.

Her wild, exhilarated beauty was so distracting. Zuko cleared his throat roughly.

“This is it, Katara. Are you ready to face him?”

Her determined expression wavered for a split second - but before he could be sure of what he’d seen, Katara had whirled around to aim at the steel door with a blast of roaring water, knocking it right off its hinges. Zuko bolted in front of her, expecting the bursts of fire that greeted them as they entered the room. He sliced through the blasts easily, dispersing them before quickly releasing his own crackling jet of fire towards the commander’s feet. The goateed man leapt back just in time.

“Who are you?” He snarled, glaring at Zuko.

“You don’t remember her?” Zuko asked menacingly, tilting his head towards Katara. “You will soon, trust me.”

Immediately following his words, Zuko punched fire towards the man, who jumped sideways to avoid the blast. Just as the man raised a fist engulfed in fire, poised to throw, the flames went out. The commander stared at his own arm, which had suddenly halted, mid-air.

“What’s…” The man grunted as his arm went through a series of uncomfortable contortions, and then he seemed to be driven into a kneeling position.

Zuko looked around at Katara, expecting her to be as bewildered as he was. Instead, he saw her in an unmistakable bending stance, bent at the waist and almost touching the floor with her hand as she stared down at the commander… the man she’d forced to bow before her.

A strange chill tightened Zuko’s skin from the tips of his toes to the top of his head. She was terrifying. Awe and envy twisted together in his heart.

Zuko turned back to the commander, narrowing his eyes to cover his reaction to Katara’s display of power.

“Think back,” Zuko said threateningly. “Think back to your last raid on the Southern Water Tribe.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” The man gasped into the floor, his whole body quivering against its invisible shackles. “Please, I don’t know!”

“Don’t lie!” Zuko growled, dropping to one knee, making it apparent how close he was – and how quickly he could finish the man off. “You look her in the eye and you _tell_ me you don’t remember what you did.”

Katara raised her arm and pushed her hand out from herself, bringing the man up on his knees. She met his eyes with a furious glare, mouth twisted into an angry snarl.

For an endless moment, Zuko watched as Katara stared into the man’s eyes, waiting for a sign that she was about to strike. It never came.

Unexpectedly, all the fury drained from her face, and her eyes opened wide and round, eyebrows lifted in dismay.

“It’s not him,” she said softly, relaxing her stance and releasing the man, who collapsed in a heap on the floor. “He’s not the man.” Her voice trembled slightly.

“What? What do you mean he’s not?” Zuko gestured towards the man, who hadn’t moved. “He’s the leader of the Southern Raiders! He has to be the guy!”

Katara lowered her eyes. All her fighting spirit had vanished in an instant, and it was with an intensely disheartened expression that she slowly turned and started to leave.

Guilt burned in Zuko’s stomach. It was his idea that had led them here. He grabbed the groggy commander and slammed him against the wall, determined to help Katara see this through.

“If you’re not the man we’re looking for, who is?” Zuko demanded.

“You must be looking for Yon Rha! He retired four years ago.”

Zuko heard Katara’s footsteps pause – then resume.

The mission was still on.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys so the chapter after this one will be the end of the revenge mission, and then it's back to the Gaang! Should be fun. *devil horns*

 

_-Katara-_

Dawn found them, once again flying on Appa. Neither of them had spoken since Zuko had told her where they could find Yon Rha. Katara didn’t know how Zuko had gotten the leader of the Southern Raiders to divulge that information – but she was sure it couldn’t have been any worse than what she’d done.

_Why hasn’t he said anything?_

As far as Katara was aware, Zuko had known nothing about her ability to blood-bend. She wanted him to address it, if only to let her explain, but she hesitated to bring it up herself. Her skin was still crawling with distaste. She’d forced that man to do her will, and a part of her had undeniably reveled in the power. The rest of her wanted to wail aloud in anguish, disgusted by the sensation of intimately knowing each and every crevice of a fellow human’s body – and controlling them. The first and only time she’d used it was to overpower Hama. She’d sworn to herself that she would never do it again. It was wrong. Immoral.

_I gave in to darkness today._

Katara felt dirty – on the inside, where it mattered. The desire for revenge had led her to abuse an ability she’d never wanted in the first place.

And Zuko still hadn’t said anything.

 

A couple hours later, Katara’s stomach was aching with hunger. She couldn’t remember the last time they’d eaten, and Appa was reaching the limits of his endurance. Even though it was the last thing she wanted to do, Katara knew they had no choice. They would have to land and let Appa rest.

Katara’s nerves were strung tight. She’d been too self-conscious to break the silence, or even turn around to look at him, but at this rate it might be days before Zuko spoke again. And she really couldn’t take it anymore.

She gave Appa’s head a gentle pat, her usual method of letting him know it was time to land, before finally twisting around and poking her head over the edge of the saddle. Zuko was laying with his hands behind his head, eyes closed. Katara let her eyes travel down his body, cheeks warming as she recalled the feeling of him pressed up against her. She hadn’t had much time to think about what had happened between them, but now that there was a moment of calm, her mind started dredging up the memories.

She’d never felt such a _rush_ of sensations like that, except during a fight. The spark of pure adrenaline that had made her skin hyper-sensitive. The touch of his lips against her pulse. His hands, red-hot even through her clothes, holding her tightly. That ever-present, yet subtle, taste of spice on his lips, and his tongue when it caressed hers, sending shivers down her spine.

Katara shivered in the present, her face burning hot. Dangerous thoughts to have after showing off her terrifying ability to control someone against their will. She’d probably scared him off.

_This is_ Zuko. _He doesn’t get scared away._ Toph scoffed in Katara’s head. She wished Toph were actually there… she could use some no-nonsense advice. Not Aang’s sugarcoated morality speeches.

She felt the familiar spike of guilt at the thought of Aang, and quickly pushed it away. She’d already decided not to deal with the reality of the fact that she and Zuko would soon have to return to their friends, and their little bubble of solitude would end. There wasn’t enough time… she felt like there was so much she needed to figure out before she could actually pursue… whatever this was… with Zuko. Exiled Prince of the Fire Nation. She was still having a hard time wrapping her head around the whole thing.

Appa landed then, interrupting Katara’s train of thought – and jostling the prince. He pushed himself up from where he’d rolled when Appa had touched down, kneading his right eye with the heel of his hand.

“Why are we stopping?” Zuko asked in a voice rough with sleep, blinking blearily. “And why are you looking at me like that?”

“What?” Katara cleared her throat, embarrassed. “I was just about to wake you.”

“Okay,” Zuko said, glancing at her with the barest hint of a smile.

“I figured we should stop and let Appa rest…” Katara had no idea what he could be smiling about.

“Good idea,” he agreed, standing to gather his belongings. “I’ve almost forgotten what standing on solid ground feels like.” He handed Katara her bag before jumping gracefully off Appa’s back.

_Show-off,_ Katara thought as she slid slightly less gracefully down Appa’s side. She gave the sky-bison an affectionate hug around the neck as the he sank gratefully to the ground. Katara unbuckled the saddle and watched in amusement as Appa rolled onto his back and wriggled happily.

“Thanks, Appa. Get some sleep.” Appa let out a contented grumble and curled up against a grassy hill. Katara and Zuko went about setting up camp in silence, and Katara didn’t know what to do about the awkwardness in the air. Not that Zuko looked uncomfortable, of course – he appeared perfectly relaxed as he set up the tent. Maybe she was just being paranoid.

When he was finished, Zuko came to sprawl on the ground beside her, watching her stir the stew she was in the process of making. He sat quite close to her, and she felt her cheeks heat up, heart suddenly pounding. She’d thought her reactions to him were bad before, but that was nothing now that she knew exactly what she was missing.

Their hands grazed each other as she handed him a steaming bowl, and Katara, who had been avoiding eye contact, heard him sigh.

“Katara, are you okay?”

She met his gilded gaze briefly before focusing on the crackling fire. She didn’t know what to say. _I was just wondering - what did you think of my handy little power? Not freaky at all, right? Right?_

“We’ll find the man who killed your mother, Katara. I promise.” Zuko said steadfastly, leaning forward to make her meet his eyes. Katara took one look at the worried expression on his face and could hardly take it. Didn’t he realize what she’d done? Did it not seem like a big deal to him?

Katara was shocked to realize that hot tears had begun to streak down her cheeks, and she quickly dabbed at them in embarrassment.

“What is it?” Zuko asked anxiously, his hand hovering inches from her arm, as if unsure whether his touch was desired.

“I’m afraid that I’m a bad person,” Katara admitted in a trembling voice, burying her face in her hands. She felt Zuko scoot closer, pressing his shoulder against hers comfortingly.

“You’re the most loyal, genuine person I’ve ever met. Why would you think that?”

“Because of what I did back there,” Katara confessed, wiping her tears away and attempting to get ahold of herself. “I promised myself I would never use that particular power.”

“Why?” Zuko sounded surprised, and she glanced at his face to confirm it, stunned.

“What do you mean, why? Because it’s awful!” Katara stared at him. Zuko shrugged.

“I won’t say it didn’t freak me out at first…” Zuko gave her a small, sheepish smile. “I’ve never seen something so amazingly terrifying. You could do almost anything with power like that.”

“I know,” Katara shuddered. That was exactly the reason she didn’t want to use it. It would be all too easy to become corrupted by that kind of control. Who was she to force anyone to do anything?

“How is it done?” Zuko had his head cocked, a gleam in his eyes.

“I bend the water in your body – your blood,” she said harshly, disliking his tone of fascinated interest. Blood-bending was nothing to be admired.

“Oh. Sounds painful.”

“It’s no picnic.” Katara said absentmindedly, rubbing her arms. She could still feel the imprisoning puppet strings that Hama had put on her body months ago. And now she’d turned around and done that same thing to someone else.

_Am I any better than Hama?_

“Katara.”

She sighed and looked up reluctantly.

“You want to hurt the man who killed your mother, and make him feel a shred of the pain you went through. That doesn’t make you a bad person. That makes you human.” Zuko reached out and threaded his fingers through hers, holding her gaze.

Katara turned her face away, tears welling up again, hoping he was right but not really believing it. Even so, she gave in and leaned into him, part of her still astounded that she was seeking comfort from Zuko, of all people. His warm arm surrounded her snugly as she tucked her head into the crook of his neck.

They were quiet, watching the fire burn down low as night fell around them. In time, Katara began to feel calmer. The sounds of the crackling fire and chirping crickets, the black sky glittering with a million stars, Zuko’s warm hand tracing a design on the soft skin of her arm… it all soothed her troubled heart, whispered a lullaby just for her.

“Should we go to bed?” Katara murmured drowsily at some point, her eyes struggling to stay open.

“Let’s sleep out here. Under the stars,” Zuko suggested contentedly.

“Wow,” Katara giggled softly. _I didn’t think he had it in him._

“What?” Zuko asked with a smile in his voice. Katara tilted her head back to look at him, a smirk tugging at her lips.

“Just trying to picture the old Zuko saying something like that. You know, ponytail, sour expression, all that,” Katara explained breathlessly, holding back laughter at the thought.

Zuko rolled his eyes, grinning. Katara had never seen him smile as much as she had these past few days. It made him look like a completely different person. A happy person.

_Maybe who he was before his mom disappeared, before his dad disfigured and disowned him._

Zuko got up to grab their bedrolls, and they curled up together beside the fire. Katara rested her head on his shoulder, feeling dizzy with the intimacy of their position – the two of them, completely alone, sleeping together under one blanket. She wondered if he’d wanted to sleep outside to make her feel more comfortable about the situation, or if he was just a romantic at heart. She was almost fifteen years old, one year away from marriageable age. She wasn’t oblivious to the kind of thoughts that were probably running around in Zuko’s seventeen year old head.  

“Is this okay?” Zuko asked sleepily, his breath gently stirring her hair. Katara shivered at the sensation.

“Yes,” she said, blushing.

“Good,” he murmured huskily, and she felt the difference as the tension drained out his body, relaxing against her. Katara relaxed too, instinctively, stretching her arm out more comfortably across his chest and sighing. She really was worn out. And Zuko was incredibly warm. She felt like she’d sunk into a steaming hot bath.

It continued to surprise her how _right_ it felt to be close to him.

Within seconds, Katara felt herself drifting into sleep.        


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to actually sleep this week so I could baby-sit my niece, so sorry it's a bit late! I realized I wanted the amazing scene with Yon Rha to be from Katara's point of view, so that'll be the next chapter! Hope you all enjoy this one. Thank you to everyone who comments!!!

_-Zuko-_

Zuko awoke as the first touch of sunlight warmed his face, as he had every morning for as long as he could remember.

The difference between all those other mornings and this one was what greeted him when he opened his eyes. Katara slept on, her breathing slow and steady. Her leg and arm were thrown over him, head still tucked into his shoulder. Zuko couldn’t take his eyes off her. The sun gleamed against her copper skin, brought out the shine in her dark, chocolate brown hair, and he couldn’t resist brushing the back of his hand against her cool cheek in reverence.

Her eyelashes trembled at his touch, and fluttered open seconds later, revealing her deep sapphire eyes. Zuko froze as Katara jumped slightly, obviously startled to wake up to him staring. He cleared his throat sheepishly.

“Now you know how I felt yesterday,” he murmured, smirking. Katara started to say something, but was interrupted by a jaw-cracking yawn that immediately caused him to yawn as well.

“Good morning,” Katara laughed gently, propping herself up on one elbow. Zuko rolled onto his side, his face inches from hers, desiring nothing more than to stay close to her. Her hair tumbled over one shoulder, tangled and wild, cheeks flushed. _How can someone so strong look so soft and gentle?_

A sudden pang went through him. He might never be alone like this with her again. Where they went from here was up to them, but as soon as they returned to the others, it wouldn’t be the same as _this moment_ \- right here, right now.

So he reached up and trailed his fingers along her jawline, watching the levity drain from her face as the air between them became charged with intensity. Her lips parted, she inhaled as if about to speak – but said nothing. Zuko curled his fingers under her chin and leaned up to brush a soft kiss against her mouth, reveling in the sensation. He wanted to cement every second of this into his mind.

Something wet dripped onto his cheek, and Zuko pulled back to see tears brimming in her eyes, making them look even bluer than before.

“What’s wrong?” Zuko sat up, instantly concerned. Katara kept her face downturned, clasping and unclasping her hands anxiously.

“I have a favor to ask you.” She peeked up at him with a pained expression. “And I know you’re not going to like it.”

Zuko had no idea what she could want from him, but he suddenly felt afraid. There were so many ways she could hurt him now.

“What?” He asked guardedly, and she flinched at the change in his voice.

‘I…” Katara faltered, and Zuko prepared himself. This was it. She was going to say this was a mistake, and it had to stop. It could never work. Too many obstacles. All his doubts came rushing back, all the reasons this was crazy. He’d expected this.

So why did it hurt just as much as if he hadn’t?

“This thing between us…” Zuko’s jaw clenched as she finally formed words. “I need you to keep it a secret.”

_Huh?_

“You… what?” He stared at her, bemused.

“You seem surprised,” Katara observed, knuckling the remnants of her tears away.

“Yeah…” he relaxed a bit. “I thought you were going to end… you know, us.”

“Um, no...” she blushed. “I don’t want to do that.”

“But you don’t want anyone to know about this, either.” Zuko began feeling something other than relief.

“…No. There are a few reasons, but what it really comes down to is Aang.” She eyed him warily, and he didn’t even try to hide his ire.

“The Avatar! What’s he got to do with this?” Zuko jumped to his feet, glaring down at her. Katara rose more calmly and crossed her arms.

“He has everything to do with this. He has everything to do with everything! Without him, we’re all dead.”

“So WHAT?” He roared, blood pulsing in his ears. Surely there was only one reason not to tell Aang. _Does she have feelings for him after all?_ Fear expanded in the pit of his stomach. “What does that have to do with you and me?”

“Zuko, Aang loves me. Or at least he says he does. How exactly do you think he’s going to react to this!?” Katara exclaimed in angry embarrassment, her cheeks truly flaming now.

“I haven’t really thought about it!” He retorted. “It’s none of his business.”

“Oh, yeah? Have you thought about how Mai is going to react?” Katara shot back, raising her eyebrows. Zuko stopped short of the emphatic “no” he’d been about to give.

“Maybe,” he muttered sullenly. Mai had popped into his head at random, feeding his feelings of guilt. At times he almost wished they wouldn’t win the war, so he would never have to face her.

But that was a coward’s wish.

 “As scary as I’m sure Mai can be, she’s not the Avatar. She can’t destroy the world with one tantrum. If I… we… put Aang through this during the most stressful time of his life… well, for one thing, he might kill you. For another, we’d _never_ be able to win the war. Aang can’t be distracted right now. The fate of the world literally depends on him.” Katara took a deep, unsteady breath, looking tearful again. “Please, Zuko. I know it’s a lot to ask, but… I can’t see another way.”

“I don’t like it.” Zuko turned away, glaring into the still rising sun. What she was saying made sense, but part of him wondered if she was simply ashamed of him.

He couldn’t really blame her.

“I know. I don’t either. It’s not like I _want_ to have to pretend I don’t feel anything for you. It won’t be easy.” Katara sighed.

“No, it won’t. And if Aang finds us out, don’t you think he’ll be angrier than if we had just been straight with him?” Zuko’s stomach was wriggling in discomfort at the thought. He might be jealous of Aang’s hold on Katara and hers on him, but he still considered the Avatar a friend.

“Probably,” Katara shrugged, her face troubled. “But it doesn’t matter. He’s supposed to defeat your father and save the world in a few weeks. How can I add any more weight to his shoulders?”

“You’re making it hard for me to argue with you, Katara. But this just feels wrong.”

Katara stepped closer to him with a faintly pleading look, and Zuko wrapped his arms around her with a defeated sigh.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her breath fanning against his neck. Zuko held her tighter, resting his cheek against her hair. Soon enough, moments like this one would be limited, if not non-existent.

“I guess understand why you feel it has to be this way. I just wish we had another option.” Zuko hesitated, then took the plunge. “I don’t want to lose any time with you.”

Katara lifted her head from his shoulder and stared at him with emotion swimming in her ocean eyes. A heartbeat later, she tilted her face up and caught his lips with hers, a touch of desperation in her movements as she threw her arms around his neck and tangled her fingers in his hair. Zuko’s skin instantly went up in flames, and his hands found a grip on the swell of her hips as he pulled her tight against his body. He slanted his mouth against hers and kissed her in a way that had them both gasping for air.

And all he could think was _I’m going to lose this._

When they finally broke apart, Zuko wasn’t sure if it was his tears or hers gleaming on her skin. He cradled her face, smoothing away the dampness on her cheeks with his thumbs. She sighed, long and deep, closing her eyes wearily.

When she opened them, he saw that her steely resolve had resurfaced. The tender moment slipped away, and Zuko tried to hide the overwhelming sense of loss he felt as she gently pulled herself from his embrace and began collecting their belongings.

_Why did that feel like goodbye?_

They packed up camp in silence, and Katara took her place at the reins. Before she signaled Appa to take off, Zuko climbed over to join her, ignoring the questioning look she gave him. He reclined against the rise of Appa’s back and surprised her by yanking her backwards to sit with him, holding her close as he grabbed the reins.

“Hey!” Katara yelped, wriggling in his arms. “What are you doing?”

“I’m not wasting a second,” Zuko said stubbornly. “After today, we’ll have to pretend there’s nothing between us. I’m not going to do that while we still have time.”

Katara stilled, and Zuko felt a painful sort of joy when she gave in and leaned against him. More so than ever, he paid attention to every touch, every breath that passed through her lips. He didn’t want to forget how it felt to be with her like this.

For a long time, they were both quiet as Appa ate up the distance between them and Yon Rha. It was a beautiful day, all blue sky and blinding sunlight and puffy white clouds. Zuko did his best to simply enjoy the moment.

After a while, Katara started talking. She told him of long winter days with little sunlight, of seemingly endless chores, and about her family. Endlessly, she described for him the ties that held their tribe together, of the traditions, their beliefs. He listened, heart full, as she talked about her brother, her father, and her grandmother… he squeezed her tighter when she tried to talk about her mother and failed completely. It seemed like she wanted to tell him everything about her past – Zuko was honored to listen, but he already knew the most important things about her – about who she was at heart, independent of anyone else.

When the sky around them had become blanketed with gray, tumultuous clouds, and the wind almost drowned out her words, Katara fell silent. Then she twisted around to look at him with a serious expression.

“Tell me about your mother.”

Zuko looked away, staring out into the clouds. It wasn’t any easier for him to talk about his mother than it was for Katara to talk about hers.

“Sorry. You don’t have to.”

“It’s okay.” Zuko paused. “It’s a painful subject. But if anyone can really understand, it’s you.”

“What was she like?” Katara took his hand. Zuko stared at their intertwined fingers as he spoke.

“She was kind. Protective. Clever. I loved her more than anything. My father was cruel, and my sister… well, you’ve met her. She was pretty much always like that. My mom and Uncle were the only good people I knew.” He sighed. “She would be so ashamed of me.”

“What are you talking about?” Katara asked incredulously. “You’ve come a long way.”

“Too far. The things I’ve done in the past… she raised me to know the difference between right and wrong. I’m glad she didn’t see what I became.”

“How can you say that? Look at where you are now. You gave up everything to join the Avatar! Don’t you think she’d be proud of that?”

“It’s what happened in between I worry about. It took me longer than it should have to see the truth… everything is so clear to me now, I wonder how I ever managed to fool myself.”

“You’ve had a hard life, Zuko.” Katara used the hand he wasn’t holding to push his hair back, tracing her fingers along his scar. “I’m sure I don’t even know the worst parts. And I know it took me a long time to see that you’ve changed. But give yourself some credit. You overcame every horrible thing that life threw at you, and became stronger and wiser because of it.”

He clenched his jaw reflexively, eyes stinging. His emotions were a messy knot of joy and anguish. He hoped what she said was true, hoped she believed it. Was it really possible that he could shed the weight of his past? Be happy? Do good things?

The idea seemed so foreign to him.

“I wonder if she’d agree with you,” Zuko murmured wistfully,

“Maybe you’ll find out some day.”

“I doubt it,” he sighed.

“Oh. I thought…” Katara trailed off, looking uncomfortable.

“I don’t know if she’s dead.” He answered her unspoken question.

“It sounds like you think she is.”

“She might not be. She was exiled, just like me. But I didn’t vanish off the face of the planet. I haven’t heard from her in all this time… if she isn’t dead, where is she?”

“I don’t know. Maybe when all this is finally over, we can look for her.” Katara squeezed his hand, and Zuko tried to swallow around the large lump that had formed in his throat.

_We._

“I’d like that,” he said roughly, unable to accurately convey what her words meant to him. But her eyes were soft when they met his, and he thought she understood.

Appa let out a long, low growl then, and they both peered through the misty air.

“Land,” Katara breathed, staring at the rapidly approaching coastline. Zuko couldn’t read her expression. Fear? Anger? Her eyes were strangely blank, as if her mind was suddenly miles away.

“Are you ready?”

Katara nodded, still distant as she tied her hair back. They landed beside a huge, rocky cliff that yawned above them.

“Wait here, Appa,” Zuko gave him a quick head-rub before sprinting to catch up with Katara, who was slipping stealthily up the pathway. When they came to the top of the ridge, the town lay sprawled out before them. A few farms littered the bottom of the valley, while the majority of the houses and shops were located higher up in the hills.

The two of them made their way around the edge of town, cowls pulled up over their faces as they scouted for a good area to sneak in and search for Yon Rha. Zuko wasn’t sure how easily Katara would be able to recognize a man she hadn’t seen in ten years, but one glimpse of the bloodlust now burning in her eyes and he decided it was best not to bring that up.

It was frightening how quickly she could go from sweetness and light to darkness and rage. The more he saw this side of her, the more he wondered how Aang could possibly think Katara was his girl. She had far too much fire for him. The Avatar would seek to subdue her flames… Zuko wanted to throw himself in as kindling, lose himself in her brilliance.

Maybe that wasn’t the perfect monk-like thing to do, but he wasn’t a perfect monk. He was Fire Nation, with all the baggage.

And she’d chosen _him_.  


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the three day weekend, I finished this chapter super early! Mature content ahead! Muahaha.

_-Katara-_

She didn’t turn her head to look, and Zuko didn’t say a word, but she knew he was there. Watching her back, letting her lead the way. It was as if he sensed that she could only concentrate on one thing. She’d been distracted by the growing bond between them, but there was no room for that now.

Every fiber of her being thrummed with tense anticipation as they slunk through alleys and around the backs of the buildings, heading towards the center of town. She hoped to get lucky and spot Yon Rha where the most people would be, and follow him home.

To her disappointment, the main street was largely deserted. A sleepy-looking clerk was manning the apparently only open shop. After about an hour of skulking around, they’d observed just two customers, neither of whom could be Yon Rha. She was ready to move on. Her nerves felt stretched thin, ready to snap, and every passing second made it worse. She still hadn’t decided what to do when she finally faced him.

The two of them crouched down behind a crumbling wall. Katara wasn’t sure what to do. Would they have to somehow check every house?

“Should we talk to the clerk?” She asked him, but Zuko was focused on something behind her, golden eyes narrowed.

“Could that be him?” He whispered, and Katara whipped around. A slight, unkempt looking man stood at the counter, facing away from them. She stared at the back of the man’s grizzled, gray head, willing him to show his face. She needed to see his eyes.

As if the man could somehow sense her gaze on him, he suddenly glanced over his shoulder, and Katara and Zuko quickly ducked down.

“Hello?” The man called suspiciously. “Did you see someone?” They heard him ask the clerk in a hushed voice. They held perfectly still until they finally heard his footsteps recede. Zuko looked at her questioningly, and Katara nodded.

“That might be him. I need a better look,” she whispered, and they slipped away to follow the man from a safe distance.

The man led them out of town and down a set of ancient stairs hewn straight out of the rocky hills. The further away they traveled, the jumpier the man became, his head on a constant swivel. Katara held her breath from behind a bush as the man appeared to stare straight at her, his black eyes boring into her without a glimmer of light in their depths.

Her surroundings faded away as she zeroed in on his wrinkly, sagging face, visualizing the way it might have looked ten years ago, framing those soulless eyes.

A chill tightened the skin around her skull just as rain began to pour down from the steel gray sky, icy cold and stinging.

“That’s him,” she muttered to Zuko grimly, ignoring the water rolling down her face. “That’s the monster.”

Yon Rha eyes his surroundings for a few moments longer before turning to continue trudging down the stairs. They shadowed him the whole way, to the bottom of the valley. Katara felt a vicious surge of satisfaction every time Yon Rha glanced around in agitated wariness.

_He should be afraid._

Abruptly, Yon Rha stopped once more and whirled around, dark eyes raking the landscape.

“Nobody sneaks up on me without getting burned!” He snarled, dropping his groceries and blasting a nearby bush with fire from his palm. He remained in a fire-bending position, waiting, but Katara and Zuko were well out of easy range. Yon Rha was shooting in the dark.

Yon Rha let his arms drop after a long moment, bending down in frustration to pick up his fallen groceries. Just as he turned to set off again, Katara made a swift motion with her hand and bent the mud beneath his feet to trip him.

He yelped and fell on his face.

When the monster raised his head, Katara and Zuko were standing before him, Zuko casually holding a handful of flames. 

Katara stared down at the man they’d come all this way to find, and felt frozen by the magnitude of the moment. She wanted to kill him. The desire sprang fiercely to the front of her mind.

“We weren’t behind the bush.” Zuko informed him. Katara saw Zuko step forward threateningly from the corner of her eye. “And I wouldn’t try fire-bending again!”

Yon Rha raised an arm defensively, beseechingly, his face a mask of fear. Katara felt a stab of revulsion. This was who had taken her mother from her? A weak, old man?

“Whoever you are, take my money. Take whatever you want! I’ll cooperate!” He begged.

Katara stepped closer, ripping away the cowl covering the lower half of her face.

“Do you know who I am?”

“No,” the man’s eyes widened, searching her face. “I’m not sure…”

“Oh, you better remember me like your life depends on it!” She snarled, hands curling into fists. “Why don’t you take a closer look?”

They stared into each other’s eyes, and Katara didn’t bother hiding the rage she felt thundering through her veins. She hoped he could see how much she wanted to make him pay. Hoped he realized how thinly on the fence she was on the issue.

“Yes,” Yon Rha whispered in dread. “Yes, I remember you now… the little water tribe girl.”

Thunder cracked the darkening sky above them as rain continued to pour, soaking all three of them. Katara didn’t flinch when lightning rent the darkness, focused only on the confession spilling from the monster’s mouth.

“I… I had orders! I was just following orders! The Fire Lord wanted all the southern water-benders wiped out. We had a source that said there was one left, and I was told to go and find them. I had my orders. I didn’t hurt anyone else.” Yon Rha gulped, perhaps seeing the lack of effect his words were having on her.

“She lied to you,” Katara realized, feeling a kind of bittersweet pain. “She was protecting the last water-bender.” She looked away for the first time, overcome by what her mother had done for her.

“What?” Yon Rha asked, sounding astounded. “Who?”

“ME!” Katara threw up her arms, forcing every raindrop in the air to freeze in place. She arched her stance, brow furrowed in concentration, and formed a dome of water around the three of them. Zuko pulled down his cowl and stared up in amazement, water dripping from his hair.

Katara glanced at him for a split-second, distracted, and felt the haze of fury recede just a little. She was already in motion as she did so, pulling the water back to herself in the form of many spiked ice shards with the intent of sending them straight through her mother’s killer.

A rush of chaotic images and feelings roared through her head, and so quickly that she wasn’t even sure why she’d done it, Katara halted the ice spears.

She held her position for a moment, disappointment soaking into her bones as she allowed the mass of ice to melt and splash down onto Yon Rha.

“I did a bad thing! I know I did!” The man gasped, on his hands and knees. “And you deserve revenge.”

“I always wondered what kind of person could do such a thing. But now that I see you, I think I understand.” Katara walked up to him, pinning him down with her gaze. “There’s just _nothing_ inside you. Nothing at all. You’re pathetic and sad, and empty.”

“Please, spare me!” Yon Rha blubbered pathetically, bowing his head.

“But as much as I hate you…” She felt her lips tremble, and tears threatened to spill over onto her cheeks. She held them back by sheer force of will. “I just can’t do it.”

Katara turned away, bitterness and shame simmering under her skin. She had to get out of there.

She walked off without another word.

 

Katara didn’t look back once as she ran for the beach, but every so often she heard the huff of Zuko’s breath as he kept up with her, light-footed as always.

She burst onto the scene and threw herself at Appa, burying her face in his soft, thick fur. He let out a surprised groan that rumbled comfortingly through her body, reminding her of happier, less confusing times. Early days with Aang and Sokka, when the date of the comet hadn’t been looming over their heads, and she hadn’t known who her mother’s killer was… when she hadn’t been falling for an exiled Fire Nation prince.

She felt emotionally and physically wrung dry, exhausted from all the ups and downs she’d gone through in the last couple weeks.

So when Zuko touched her arm, murmuring “let’s get out of here” in his low, husky voice, Katara let him help her up onto Appa and hold her as they left the town far behind. She gazed broodingly out into the sky, vaguely grateful for his warm embrace but mired down by frustration. After everything they’d done, the distance they’d traveled… nothing was resolved. She still hated that man. She wanted him to die. But she didn’t want to kill him.

How was she supposed to reconcile those two parts of herself?

 

After only having had a couple hours rest, Appa was soon flagging again, and Katara couldn’t deny the rush of relief she felt at the thought of delaying their return by one more night.

“How do you feel?” Zuko asked her, a second before she was about to mention it.

“Do – what?” Katara said, side-tracked.

“Huh?”

“I was just about to ask if you wanted stop for the night. Appa should be able to fly us straight back in the morning if he gets some sleep.” Katara suggested, avoiding his question. She really didn’t want to talk about her feelings just then.

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.” Zuko responded casually, but his eyes were shrewd when she chanced a peek at him. He hadn’t missed her side-step.

They landed in a small clearing with a stream babbling nearby and soft, grassy ground underfoot.  

The peaceful scene was at odds with the storm inside her. Though a cool breeze wafted through the air, her skin felt hot and itchy, and the first thing Katara did was head for the stream. She needed something to soothe her aching heart.

Stripping down to her underclothes, Katara eased into the flowing water and lay on her back, allowing the current to tug and slip past her. The stream wasn’t very deep, maybe a foot at most. But it was enough. The babbling water deadened the sound of her tangled thoughts, cooled the fire in her heart.

Deep down, Katara knew she’d done the right thing. She wasn’t a killer. She didn’t want blood on her hands. It wasn’t up to her to decide who lived and who died. All the reasons Aang didn’t want her to take revenge were valid, and the logical, good side of her accepted that. Who knows what she would have become if she’d crossed the line?

That reasonable voice inside her kept saying the same thing, over and over again, trying to convince the part of her that burned in dissatisfaction, the part that still wanted payback. She didn’t forgive him, but she couldn’t kill him in cold blood. That would make her the same as him – a monster.

_I will not become a monster._

Her mother wouldn’t have wanted her to take revenge. She’d given up her own life for her daughter. She would want Katara to be happy. To move on.

Zuko caught her attention as he moved around the clearing, setting up camp. She watched him, comforted by his presence. He hadn’t tried to influence her one way or another. He’d just been there, backing her up. And she couldn’t deny that the mercy he’d shown towards his homicidal sister had affected her decision. It had niggled in the back of her mind ever since, reminding her that even the son of the most evil man on the planet had hesitated to kill. That meant something.

It wouldn’t be easy, walking around with the knowledge that her mother’s killer walked free. But she could live with it. She could accept it. Even if she didn’t like it…even though she’d probably never stop being angry… it was better than the alternative. Her conscience was clear.

A measure of calm restored to her heart, Katara rose from the stream with a weary sigh. She felt Zuko’s eyes on her as she bent the water from her body, combing through her hair with her fingers, and became suddenly aware of how much of her skin was bared to him.

The look of hunger on his face when she met his gaze knocked the air right out of her lungs. Heat immediately flooded her cheeks. For the first time, there was nothing between them, no where they had to go, no mission they had to complete. No questions. The tension in the air thickened as she saw the same realization dawn on him as well, and she found herself stepping towards him, heart leaping wildly in her chest. He stood as she drew closer, golden eyes burning into her.

Katara stopped in front of him and slid her hands up over his chest, warmth shooting through her at the shaky way he exhaled when she touched him. His arms came up around her as she wrapped hers around his neck, pulling him close enough to touch her lips to his.

Something in Zuko seemed to snap at the contact, and Katara found herself pressed against the nearest tree, the bark rough against her back as he kissed her, his hands leaving burning imprints on her skin as they roamed. She felt a strange, frantic energy building in her veins, and her breath came in ragged gasps. Something about this boy set her on fire in a way she didn’t fully understand, and when they touched… every other thought flew straight out of her head. There was only Zuko, only the hard, strong feeling of his body as he rocked against her. She arched instinctively and felt him let out a shocked breath, hissed through his teeth as if in pain.

“Was that okay?” Katara whispered breathlessly, curious. Her hands were knotted in his hair, and a restless shiver ran through her.  

“Yes,” Zuko gasped, with a hint of a smirk as he ducked his head down to trail kisses down her neck. She let her head roll back as he hiked one of her legs up and somehow managed to bring their bodies even closer together. She could feel the hot, branding hardness of him pressed into her hip. A sharp thrill zapped through her at the sensation, and warm desire flooded her veins. Her face flushed a burning, vivid red. She knew enough to know what that meant, and what the two of them were headed towards.

Vaguely, she wondered if she should stop him, before things got out of control.

Zuko’s lips were on her shoulder now, and every inch of her skin seemed unbearably sensitive.

_I don’t want to stop,_ Katara realized, as her hands moved without her permission, bunching themselves in the fabric of his shirt. She had hunger of her own.

_I want him._

When they left this place, they wouldn’t be alone again for who knew how long. But they could have this moment, bonding them together. After the day she’d had, the restraint she’d already shown… she didn’t want to hold back from this, too.

Besides, it felt _so good._

Zuko nipped her shoulder, and she almost shrieked, shocked by the rush of pleasure from something that should have been painful.

“Oh!” Her hands clenched his shirt tighter, and she felt a strong, instinctive urge to tear it off him. “Wow.”

“Did you like that?” Zuko pulled back for a moment, gazing down at her with a pleased look.

“Uh… yeah,” Katara breathed, mesmerized by the hint of red staining his cheeks, the excited sparkle in his eyes. A rush of affection for him swelled in her chest, and she couldn’t resist tracing her fingers over the angle of his jaw before leaning in for a slow, deep kiss.

Katara caught the edge of his shirt and slid her hands underneath, flattening her palms against his hard belly. Zuko groaned into her mouth, his fingers digging into her hips, and she wanted more.

She got it.

Zuko’s lips left hers for a moment as he ripped his shirt off, and Katara ran her hands over him appreciatively, feeling his muscles jump underneath her touch. He shuddered, then gripped the back of her legs, lifting her up and carrying her that way towards the tent.

Katara let herself slide down his body as they entered, balancing on her tip-toes as the friction of their bare skin caused her to shiver in pleasure.

Zuko hesitated for a moment, looking conflicted, but she didn’t want to give him time to think too hard. She wanted him. She trusted him. She wanted to lose herself in him.

So she pulled him in for another searing kiss, flicking her tongue against his lips the way he’d teased her before. He responded enthusiastically, and they half-fell to the ground, Zuko’s weight a comforting sensation as he tugged at her underclothing.

She felt her breast band loosening, and then the cool night air brushed against her skin.

For all her desire, it was still a shocking experience to be bared like this to another person. Katara met Zuko’s gaze shyly, feeling heat roll through her at the heavy, intense look in his eyes. She watched his face grow nearer and expected him to kiss her again – but instead his head swooped down, and his scorching lips latched onto one of her rapidly hardening nipples.

Katara threw her head back with a wordless shriek, arching closer to his suckling mouth. His hot, wet tongue swiped over the sensitive little bud, and her brain completely disconnected from her body.

_I had no idea._

Her hands flew up to tangle in his hair, clutching him closer as she writhed beneath him, and she felt him shake with laughter. She glanced down to see him watching her as his tongue flicked at her nipple once more.

“Oh, spirits, Zuko,” Katara gasped for air, transfixed by the erotic image of his eyes sparkling over her bare breast. Heat pooled in her belly, making her ache with need in a completely new way.

She never, _ever_ could have imagined him like this.

Zuko settled onto her more firmly, his thigh pressing in between her legs as he slid his hands up her arms and pinned them down over her head. She stared up at him, breath coming in quick, shaky pants. All the feelings that had built up inside her were begging for release.

“Are you sure you want this?” Zuko rasped in her ear, tracing his tongue along her earlobe and down her neck.

“Yes,” Katara exhaled shakily, shifting her hips underneath his. Once again, she felt the hard line of his desire, and the ache inside her intensified.

Zuko groaned, his fingers clenching spasmodically around her wrists. His mouth crashed against hers in that same desperate way as the very first time they’d kissed. One of his hands trailed down her body before slipping beneath her underwear, and Katara bucked in pure ecstasy as he undulated one finger against the most sensitive part of her.

And then he did it again.

Katara ripped her lips from his and threw her head back again as she helplessly thrust against his hand. Ripples of pleasure rocked her senses and white light seemed to fill her vision as Zuko used his fingers to drive her towards some unidentifiable destination.

“Zuko,” she moaned, clutching at his shoulders, his arms, searching for something to anchor her to reality. She could hear his heavy breathing, felt his heart pumping furiously against her bare skin. “Please.”

He withdrew his fingers and Katara opened her eyes, ready to protest – but almost immediately, he’d torn his pants off and was back on top of her, slipping her last bit of clothing off as he eased himself in between her legs.

The searing heat of his cock teased at her entrance, and Katara felt her whole body flush red at the sheer intimacy of the moment. Zuko stroked her cheek with the pad of his thumb, staring into her eyes for a long moment as they both trembled with need.

“Have you done this before?” He murmured huskily, and Katara almost melted at the tenderness in his voice. She shook her head slightly, and his face softened.

“I’ll be gentle,” he promised, and Katara shook her head again.

“Don’t,” she whispered raggedly. “Don’t be gentle.”

His gorgeous, molten gold eyes blazed with unbridled passion, and his lips locked on hers as he sank into her with one swift thrust.

Katara cried out against his mouth, tears springing to her eyes at the feeling of him inside her. She felt whole. Complete.

The sting of being stretched that way for the first time quickly faded as he rolled his hips against hers, and she found herself gasping, begging for more. She dug her nails into his back, tilting her hips upwards to meet him as he kept up a steady, maddening rhythm. He sucked at the skin of her neck, whispering her name hotly as she moaned, and underneath the mind-shattering pleasure Katara felt her heart swell with emotion.

She’d had no idea how happy she would feel, being this close to him.

Zuko raised himself onto his elbows, cradling her head with his hands and locking eyes with her as he began slamming his hips into her from a whole different angle. Katara grasped at his wrists, nearly crying at the new sensation, feeling so close to something amazing, something only he could give her.

“Katara,” Zuko groaned pleadingly, his thrusts becoming more frantic and sporadic. He sucked at her bottom lip, worried it between his teeth as he used one hand to reach under her and press her more firmly against him. He rocked harder against her, once, twice, three times…

She shattered.

All the built-up tension snapped, and she rode out shockwave after shockwave of blinding ecstasy as Zuko continued pounding into her, prolonging the feeling. She whimpered incoherently, stars dancing in front of her eyes as she felt him sink into her one last time, crying out his own release. Coming down from her high, Katara felt another wave of bliss at the feeling of him pulsing inside her.

Zuko withdrew from her body and collapsed on top of her, burying his head in the crook of her neck as they both caught their breath. Katara raised one lazy hand and traced designs on his slick skin, more satisfied than she ever remembered being in her life.

Zuko sighed contentedly, curling one arm around her waist. She ran her fingers affectionately through his sweaty hair and laid a light kiss on his forehead, hoping to reassure him without words. Yes, she’d wanted it. No, she didn’t regret it.

They lay together, tangled in a warm mess of limbs, pretending the dawn would never come. Zuko slipped into sleep first, his slow, deep breathing tickling her collarbone. Katara wrapped her arms around him, both happy and unbearably sad.

_If only this night could last forever._  


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So glad everyone liked the last chapter, I was nervous to write it! Thank you all. Enjoy (:

_-Zuko-_

Unbelievably, impossibly, the second time he woke up to Katara was even better than the first. She’d rolled away from him in the night, naked except for the blanket pooled at her waist, and the sight of her smooth, bronzed skin had his heart pounding.

Something about the graceful slope of her back… the way her dark hair spilled over the pillow… it was intoxicating. He wanted to slide a hand along the curve of her hip, kiss the soft skin on the nape of her neck. He imagined whispering her name and seeing her smile, her blush as she remembered what they’d done last night.

He didn’t, though. When she woke up, they’d have to leave. Time was ticking away, and they had to get back to Aang.

Zuko grimaced at the thought of training with Aang for long hours, pretending he and Katara hadn’t been as close as two people could possibly be.

Would they see it in his eyes? What if he stared too much? Should he avoid Katara entirely?  Their friends weren’t stupid, after all. They might notice if he couldn’t keep his emotions off his face.  

This was going to be impossible.

Zuko watched her sleep, attempting to ignore the anxiety fluttering in his rib cage. He wanted to soak up every second of this view, preserve the moment in his mind forever. The hot summer air wafting in through the open tent flap, the sound of her steady breathing… this might be the last peaceful moment he had with her.

He didn’t know how much time had passed when Katara eventually woke, but it wasn’t long enough. She rolled over into the cradle of his arms half-asleep, tucking her head into his shoulder.

He splayed his hands across her bare skin, his dark mood instantly lightening. Her first instinct had been to reach for him. That, even more than what they’d done the night before, showed him just how much everything had changed. He’d been worried that her eagerness in their lovemaking was fueled by more of a desire to release pent-up emotions than for him.

Katara skimmed her hand up over his chest and tilted her head back to look at him, seeming unbothered by the way her naked body was wrapped around his.

“I wish we didn’t have to go back,” she murmured regretfully.

“Tell me about it.” Zuko agreed, hoping his racing heart wasn’t too obvious. He’d worried for nothing, as usual. The warm glow of affection in her eyes was enough to convince him of that.

“We can still be around each other, right?”

“We can try. You won’t be able to look at me like that, though,” he said slyly, and she blushed.

“Well, what about you? You look like you want to eat me up!”

A startled laugh slipped out of him at the double meaning in her words. She had no idea.

“I will, someday,” he promised her, grinning at the confusion on her face.

Katara rolled her eyes. “Do I want to know?”

“Yeah, you do.” Zuko chuckled, rubbing her back. “Just not yet.”

“Uh huh.” Her eyelids slid half-closed in contentment, groaning when he targeted a particularly tense knot of muscle. “Ohh! That feels amazing.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Thanks, Your Majesty,” she laughed, then sighed heavily.

“What?”

“I was just wishing I could enjoy a moment together without immediately feeling guilty for it,” she grimaced.

“I know what you mean,” he muttered, thinking of Mai. There was no way to avoid the pain he was going to cause her, and it killed him.

“Oh, right.” Understanding colored her tone. “I’m sorry. I’ve been so focused on how we’d be hurting Aang, I didn’t even think of Mai.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to. She’s my problem,” Zuko said grimly.

“No,” Katara shook her head against his chest. “Our problem. She helped all of us when she helped you.”

“I didn’t deserve it. She gave up everything for me.” His voice cracked slightly. “I didn’t know she cared that much.”

“It doesn’t surprise me,” Katara replied quietly, meeting his gaze with a soft look in her eyes.  Zuko felt his face grow warm with embarrassed delight. She grinned and stretched up to place a sweet kiss on his cheek.

He tightened his hold on her, unable to speak through the lump in his throat. When she said things like that, he didn’t know how to handle it. Despite how far he’d come, he couldn’t quite shake the lingering shame, his self-doubt mixed with a stubborn streak of pride. Whenever she inadvertently reminded him that she accepted him, cared about him, and had really forgiven him… it made him feel like he’d finally done something right. No matter what his father did, no matter what Azula said… He’d found his own path.

_I wish Uncle could see me now._ Zuko thought with a pang of regret.

“Okay, come on.” Katara broke into his reverie as she pushed herself up and looked around, searching for her clothing. “We have to go back sometime. They’re going to start worrying about us soon, if they’re not already.”

“Especially Aang, right?” Zuko said grumpily as he sat up, already feeling empty without her in his arms. Katara wrapped the blanket around herself, avoiding his eyes as they stood.

“Yes, Zuko,” she sighed, locating her underclothing and letting the blanket slide from her body. Zuko didn’t even pretend not to look as he pulled his pants on. “You might want to work on the jealousy, you know. It’s going to give us away.”

“Can you blame me? We have to pretend there’s nothing between us because of him. I know it’s for a good reason,” Zuko said hastily, seeing that she was about to interrupt him. “It’s just…” He hesitated. He wasn’t good at this. “This is a war, and we’re right in the middle of it. If you got hurt… or didn’t make it - “ Katara blanched at the suggestion, but he plowed through. “I would regret wasting our time together for the rest of my life.”

“But if we don’t do it, there might not be a ‘rest of your life’!” Katara cried anxiously. “What if he loses it? If you’d been there when Appa was kidnapped, you’d understand why I’m worried.”

“Why, what happened?” Zuko asked with interest. If it scared Katara, it had to be something serious.

“He went onto the Avatar state,” Katara shivered. “I calmed him down before he did anything, but he could easily have killed all of us. It was like he wasn’t even himself anymore.”

“You really think he’d be angry enough to lose control like that?” Zuko asked skeptically as he found his shirt and put it on. Katara pulled out her usual Water Tribe clothing and finished getting dressed, her face dark as she considered his question.

“I don’t know,” she finally answered. “That’s what worries me.”

“But isn’t this the same kid that preached to us about forgiveness right before we left?” He was struggling not to show his frustration, but it leaked into his voice anyway. Katara paused in her packing and glanced at him.

“Yes,” She said slowly. “But the whole point of not telling him is to not add any more stress to his life right now. The world needs him.” She paused. “And I need you. If Aang can’t handle it and lets the Avatar state take over, he might hurt you. Maybe even me. Is that what you want?”

“No,” Zuko sighed, slinging his bag over his shoulder and walking over to her. He waited until she looked up before he pulled her into his arms. “Look, Katara, I care about Aang too. I turned my back on my father because I truly believe he’s a force of good. We’re friends. I don’t want to hide this from him. And I know if it was me, it would hurt a hell of a lot more to be naively hoping for a future with you and then find out you’d been sneaking around behind my back. ”

To his chagrin, tears immediately sprang up in her eyes.

“I don’t want to be the cause of his pain,” she said in a choked voice. “I don’t want him to hate me.”

“No one could hate you,” Zuko told her firmly. “And Aang would never hurt us.”

“What you’re saying makes sense.” Katara sighed shakily, pulling away from him and wiping her eyes. “And if things were different, I’d be saying ‘you’re right, let’s go for it’. But in the end, winning this war is more important than you and I, more important than Aang’s feelings. I can’t just throw caution to the wind and _hope_ that Aang can get over it and still be ready to take on the Fire Lord!”

“So we’re right back where we started,” Zuko said in disgust, crossing his arms.

“Don’t be mad,” Katara pleaded. “It won’t be forever.”

“It better not be,” he locked eyes with her as he stalked closer, determined to make sure she knew what she’d be missing. Her eyes widened in shock when he yanked her into his arms and kissed her deeply, pouring all his impatience and frustrated yearning into the action.

When he reluctantly pulled away, she stared back at him dazedly, her cheeks stained red and her lips swollen.

“Definitely not forever,” she said breathlessly, rolling her hips against him with a faintly teasing smile. He groaned, his body abruptly throbbing with desire.

“I’ll get you back for that,” he murmured, brushing his lips against hers once more.

“You started it,” Katara reminded him. “But I don’t mind if you finish it, too.”

“Right now?” Zuko raised his eyebrows. She flushed a deeper shade of red.

“We don’t really have time,” she said with a hint of longing. “I just don’t want you to think we’re going to lose this.”

“Then we won’t,” he promised. “Although I had no idea we would get to this point so quickly. Especially what happened last night.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what came over me,” Katara muttered, shaking her head. Zuko chuckled at her tone of disbelief. “But it was worth it. I don’t regret a thing.”

“Not even that it was with me?” He tried to say it playfully, but the question burned as it left his lips.

“Of course not,” she looked at him from under lowered eyelashes, her blue eyes as dark as the ocean on a stormy day. “It was because it was you that I wanted it.”

“Oh.” Zuko couldn’t think of a single thing to say, but his heart was soaring with happiness.      

 

The two of them stayed close together the whole flight home. He couldn’t stop touching her, and the only time she stopped talking was to lean in and kiss him. He felt very aware of the time passing. The hours slipped away as they soaked each other in, and before they knew it, the coast had come into sight.

The sun was beginning to set as Zuko released her and climbed without comment back into the saddle, his heart plummeting. He knew there were more important things at stake here, but at the moment he couldn’t seem to find his objectivity. He just wanted to be with her. Consequences be damned.

The sight of Katara’s stiff, uncomfortable posture as they descended made him seethe with the unfairness of it all. This wasn’t making either of them happy.

_But she’s right. It isn’t about us right now._ Zuko thought glumly.

Katara brought Appa down at the coast, a fair distance away from camp.

“Why are we stopping here?” He asked her, confused.

“I just need a minute,” she said in a thick voice, without turning. Zuko ached to offer her more than just comforting words, but it was all he had to work with.

“Everything will be okay, Katara. Don’t punish yourself.”

“Right!” She laughed humorlessly, glancing back at him with guilt written all over her face. “Because this isn’t a mess of my own making.”

“It isn’t. It’s just life. Messy, painful, and confusing. I’d know,” He smiled half-heartedly.

“Yeah, I guess you would.” Katara sighed and stared into the distance. “They probably saw us land.”

“Probably.”

“I don’t know how to lie to Aang,” she admitted worriedly.

“It’s not like he’s going to ask about us. He’ll most likely just be panicking, wondering if you got your revenge.”

Katara scowled. “Well, I’m sure he’ll be happy to hear that I couldn’t do it.”

“I’m glad, too,” Zuko told her quietly. “I know how hard it is to turn your back on all that pain, and anger. You’ll be stronger because of it.”

She met his gaze with a mixed expression of hope and despair, but before she could say anything, a raucous shout echoed above them.

“Katara!”

Aang soared out of the dying sun on his glider, landing weightlessly in front of Appa, who grumbled happily as Aang attacked him with a hug. Katara and Zuko slid down, and Zuko hoped his discomfort wasn’t as obvious as it felt.

It was harder to look into Aang’s innocent, concerned eyes than he’d thought it would be. Zuko let the two of them have a moment to talk, walking around to Appa’s head and busied himself giving the sky-bison some much-deserved love.

“You’re back!” Aang stared at Katara, as if trying to spot the blood on her hands. “Are you okay?”

“I’m doing fine.”

“Did you… I mean… did you find him?” Aang asked nervously.

“Yes,” Katara answered. “But I couldn’t do it.”

“Really?” Aang sounded delighted, and a little smug. Zuko felt his clenched jaw twitch with irritation.

“I wanted to do it,” she told Aang grimly. “I wanted to take out all my anger at him. I just couldn’t. I can’t decide if it’s because I’m too weak to do it or because I’m strong enough not to.”

Zuko saw Katara turn away from the corner of his eye.

“You did the right thing,” Aang assured her earnestly, stepping closer. “Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing.”

Katara turned back, and Zuko couldn’t help fixing his gaze on her as she looked at Aang solemnly.

“But I didn’t forgive him. I’ll never forgive him.” Her eyes moved over Aang’s shoulder to lock with Zuko’s, and her face softened slightly.

“But all this has made it easy to forgive you,” she walked past Aang, who stepped back and watched as she threw her arms around Zuko’s neck for a short, sweet hug. Zuko’s heart stuttered in shock as he automatically embraced her, trying not to look too guilty.

_What is she doing?!_

She pulled away with a subtle gleam in her eye, then walked off, leaving Zuko and Aang alone.

Aang gazed after her with a peaceful expression, while Zuko tried to calm his racing heart.

“I guess you were right about what Katara needed. Violence wasn’t the answer,” He said to Aang as a distraction.

“It never is,” Aang said happily.

_Never?_

Zuko felt a sinking sensation in his stomach.

Surely he hadn’t meant _never._

“Then I have a question for you.” Aang looked at him curiously. “What are you going to do when you face my father?”

The Avatar’s face instantly darkened with worry.

He didn’t answer, and after a moment, Zuko slowly walked away, leaving the boy to mull it over.

_This gentle kid is supposed to take down the Fire Lord._

Zuko sighed heavily; he couldn’t even picture it. His father would take any mercy shown him and make them regret it for a hundred more years.

_We are so screwed._


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly fluff. There's so much seriousness coming up, I wanted them to be able to have a little fun at least! Enjoy!

_-Katara-_

Her anxiety was at an all-time high.

Every time Katara glanced up from her food, she saw Zuko across the fire. He’d probably sat far away from her on purpose, thinking it would be easier, but it had the opposite effect. His ocher colored eyes seemed to glow in the light of the flames, making him all the more distracting.

Aang sat right next to him, looking more subdued than usual as he picked at his food. His eyebrows were furrowed like he was thinking hard about something.

_I wonder what Zuko said to him. Surely nothing about us…_ A tremor of fear ran through her, but she refused to give in to it. She’d already decided to trust him. Besides that, she really doubted Aang would be so calm if he knew.

“We should probably move on in the morning, you guys,” Sokka said to the group at large, breaking into her thoughts.

“To where?” Toph asked lazily, picking at her teeth. “It seems like nowhere is safe anymore. We might as well stay here.”

“We’re too exposed here. We need somewhere to lay low so Aang can learn fire-bending,” Sokka explained. “Somewhere no one would look for us.”

“I think I know a place.”

Everyone looked at Zuko in surprise. Katara was just glad to have an excuse.

“In the Fire Nation?” Suki questioned.

“Yes. Ember Island. My family used to stay there in the summer. It’s only a few days journey, and no one would think to look for us there.”

“Not even your father or Azula?” Katara couldn’t help asking, curious.

“No.” Zuko met her eyes briefly, and for a moment she thought she saw grief in them. He looked away too soon for her to be sure, and his voice was as steady as ever when he continued. “They’ll be staying close to home with the comet so close. Waiting. And even if they weren’t, they wouldn’t expect me to go there.”

“Bad memories?” Suki’s tone was sympathetic.

“Worse. Good ones.” Zuko said dryly. Katara exhaled in a huff of air, amused, and saw Toph’s head turn slightly in her direction.

_Oh, great._

“Okay, does anyone else have a better idea?” Sokka looked around at them hopefully. “Somewhere that isn’t the Fire Lord’s old vacation spot?”

They all stared at each other for a long moment, thinking.

“I got nothing,” Toph declared.

“Aang, what do you think?” Katara asked him pointedly. Aang was the only one who hadn’t said anything. It was unlike him.

“Is there a beach?” Aang said hopefully, perking up a bit.

“Of course. It’s an island.” Zuko rolled his eyes.

“Then I vote yes!”

“Don’t forget, we still have a lot of training to do. You can’t just spend all day at the beach,” Zuko warned, but his words did little to dampen Aang’s enthusiasm.

“Fine,” Sokka sighed. “Fire Nation here we come. Let’s get some sleep.”

 

Later that night, Katara lay awake in her sleeping bag, fuming. She’d unknowingly pitched her tent a little too close to Sokka’s, and the soft noises that made their way to her ears left her with a pretty good idea of what he and Suki were up to.

_While I’m sleeping alone. So unfair._

No matter how much she tossed and turned, she couldn’t get comfortable. After these last few days spent in Zuko’s constant presence, it felt wrong that he wasn’t with her now.

_I miss him,_ she realized, half-smiling. _More than I thought I would._

She also realized that the camp was finally quiet.

Katara rolled out of bed and crept out of her tent, heart racing. Nothing stirred in their little clearing. She had no way of knowing if Zuko would be out there, waiting for her... but she hoped.

Not even a hundred feet into the dusky forest, Zuko materialized out of the shadows and yanked her into his arms. His lips burned a trail down her neck as he gripped her hair, bending her head back for better access. Katara gasped, shocked by the hot thrill that ran through her. If anyone else had grabbed her like this, she would have had them flat on the ground in a heartbeat – but right now, with him, it was setting her on fire.

Zuko pulled back slightly and Katara tipped her face up, aching to feel those lips on hers again. She couldn’t ignore the anxiety threaded through the moment - the need to be quiet, the urge to hurry.

“Wait,” Zuko murmured, his eyes pale and colorless in the moonlit forest. “I should have at least said hello first.”

“ _I_ don’t mind,” Katara said breathlessly, with a sheepish smile.

“I just wanted to make sure.” He tightened his arms around her, and she could feel his heart pumping in his chest.

“I liked it,” she admitted, embarrassed, but pleased that he seemed to be just as affected by her. Emboldened, she leaned in to press kisses against his jawline, taking her cues from him. Zuko shuddered, his pulse hammering beneath her lips.

“I’m glad,” he replied huskily. “I forget to be gentle sometimes.”

“That’s… fine.” Katara murmured against his skin, trying to keep the smile out of her voice. _How much wilder could it get?_  She couldn’t imagine anything more scandalous than his lips on her naked skin, or him literally being inside of her, a part of her.

Her heart took off at a gallop as she flushed a deep, burning red at the memory.

_I want to do that again._

Katara angled her head and kissed him hungrily, winding her arms around his neck. Zuko responded with all the force of a dam breaking – one moment, her feet were solidly on the ground, and the next she was pinned to a tree with her legs cradled around his hips, his burning hands digging into her thighs. He began slowly rocking against her, and she automatically responded, tightening her legs around him. The feel of his hard erection was making her ache in the best way.

_How can that feel so good through our clothes?_

Katara tore her lips from his and threw her head back in abandon as he kept going, his breathing at the cusp of becoming a moan. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and bit down – not too hard, but not gently either.  

“Ohh!” she cried out, bucking against him. A haze of passion overrode any coherent thoughts. As the sound of her voice echoed and faded into the surrounding trees, she realized that Zuko had frozen.

_Oops._

They stared into each other’s eyes as they listened for signs that someone had heard them. They were a fair distance from camp, but if anyone happened to be awake…

Zuko slowly relaxed his hold on her legs, letting her slide sensually down his body. She was literally aching with the desire to finish what they’d started, and she opened her mouth to speak, maybe suggest they move even further away – but he kissed her instead, hard and fast.

“Shhh,” he breathed in her ear, making her shiver. “I have an idea, if you’re interested.”

“Let’s hear it,” Katara whispered back, impatiently wriggling her hips. Zuko inhaled sharply and narrowed his eyes at her with a wicked smirk. He grasped her chin and turned her head, ducking down to suck hard at the spot he’d just sunk his teeth into. Her legs instantly turned to jelly, and she melted into him.

“Remember when you said I wanted to eat you up?” He murmured, nipping at her earlobe.

“Um…yes?” _Where is he going with this?_

“I do. Just not the way you meant.” His voice was warm with amusement.

“What other way…?” An extremely sinful idea sprang to mind, and Katara’s mouth fell open. “Oh.” Her face flooded with heat all over again.

“What?” Zuko asked, tilting her chin up to lay a hot, wet kiss on her lips. “Did you figure it out?”

“I’ve got a pretty good guess…” Katara said faintly, her emotions reeling at the thought, as she tried to picture it… Zuko’s head between her legs. _No, that’s too much. He can’t mean that._ “…but I’m not sure.”

“I can show you. I promise, you’ll like it,” Zuko smirked.

“Have you done this with other girls?” She asked suspiciously, disliking his cocky tone.

“Just one,” He replied with a slight grimace.

“Oh. Good,” she sunk her fingers into his hair possessively. “If you think I’ll like it, I believe you. Everything we’ve done so far has been-”

Zuko’s face glowed with excitement as she spoke, and his lips came down on hers before she could finish. She tightened her grip in his hair as he eased her back against the tree, holding her immobile. He moved to suck hard at her neck and she couldn’t control the needy way her hips jerked beneath his. She barely contained another moan.

“One thing,” Zuko’s hot breath tickled her ear. “If you can’t be quiet, I’ll have to stop.” He slowly ground into her.

“Don’t _stop,_ ” she begged in a whisper.

“Do you trust me?”

“ _Yes,_ ” Katara assured him, pressing her cheek against his.   

Zuko abruptly released her and dropped to one knee before yanking her pants down to her ankles. Katara gasped as the chilly night air hit her legs, but Zuko was already busy with her underclothing.

And suddenly, she was naked from the waist down.

Katara braced herself against the tree as he slid his scorching hot hands down her legs, pausing to lay a sweet kiss on the inside of each knee. She shuddered when he grabbed her ankle and threw her leg over his shoulder. She could feel his hot breath on her thigh, and she looked down just in time to see him nuzzle between her legs.

His hot, slick tongue dipped into her slit, and her body immediately turned to jelly. Zuko’s hands wrapped around her hips, holding her upright. She thought she felt him shake with laughter, but couldn’t bring herself to care as he delved deeper, sliding his tongue higher –

Katara’s hips jerked spasmodically as he found her clit, pure pleasure crackling through her body. She gasped for air, struggling not to moan again, and fisted her hands in Zuko’s hair. His breathing became heavy as he swirled his tongue around the hard little nub, undulating against it in a maddeningly consistent rhythm. Katara panted and arched against his mouth for what seemed like an endless moment; her skin was on fire, covered in a thin layer of sweat, and every muscle was coiled tight.

“ _Zuko,_ ” she begged quietly.

One hand slipped from her hip, and a heartbeat later his fingers caressed at her entrance teasingly. Katara sucked in a deep breath as he slid one, then _two,_ inside her, massaging some secret spot that had tears of ecstasy leaking from her eyes.

Zuko abruptly picked up the pace, flicking her clit urgently, and she went rigid with a pleasure so intense it was almost pain. Her mouth opened in a silent scream as she convulsed over and over again, practically wrenching his hair from its roots. The edges of her vision faded, blood roared in her ears, and all the while his tongue, lips, and fingers continued their delicious torment.

Katara floated back down to earth, her limbs warm and tingly.

“Oh, wow,” she sighed dizzily, sagging against the tree. Zuko pulled back with a soft kiss to the inside of her thigh and stood, his lips gleaming with wetness. Katara stared at them, transfixed. He deliberately licked his lips with a wicked expression.

“Did I keep my promise?”

“I’ll say,” Katara laughed weakly, leaning into him for support as she clumsily yanked her pants up. “I definitely liked it.”

Zuko grinned, more widely than she’d ever seen before, and she couldn’t resist reaching up to kiss him. The taste of herself on his lips gave her a sinful thrill.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” he murmured, resting his forehead on hers.

“Just one thing…” Katara blushed. “What about you?”

“It’s late,” Zuko chuckled. “Don’t worry, I plan on giving you plenty of opportunities to make it up to me.”

“Oh, I’m sure you do!” Katara smacked his chest playfully, smiling.

“Come on,” He released all of her except for one of her hands. “We should probably get to bed. They might notice if we’re both sleep-deprived tomorrow.”

“You go on,” she sighed reluctantly. “I need to clean up a little bit.”

“I can imagine.” Zuko squeezed her hand, grinning, and leaned in for one last kiss. “See you in my dreams.”

Katara watched him gracefully disappear into the trees, her heart full.

Then she went to find a stream.

 

Back at camp, Katara slipped back into her tent with a wistful glance at Zuko’s. It just wasn’t the same, crawling into bed alone. Part of her craving had been satisfied, but she also ached for the warmth of his body next to hers, the sound of his breathing. They hadn’t had enough time together.

Even so, she was far too sated and worn-out to ruminate for long. She sank into a deep, dreamless sleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow.      


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know I've been gone a long time, and I'm so sorry to everyone who loves this story. I went through a super rough break-up and it kind of killed my happy little Zutara spirit for a while. But I'm back! I found the love again guys! Hope you enjoy. Credit to Zutarawasrobbed for the nickname Spice King. GENIUS.

_-Zuko-_

“Helllloooo, Spice King?!”

Zuko turned to Toph and stared at her, hard. He knew she couldn’t see it, but it made him feel better. She’d been prattling on and on at his elbow for the last ten minutes, and to be honest, he hadn’t even been listening. It was taking all his concentration just to resist looking in Katara’s direction as they packed up camp.

_This is even harder than I thought it would be._

Toph had the barest hint of a smirk on her face, which did nothing for his mood.

“ _What_ did you call me?” He asked crossly, apprehension curling in the pit of his stomach. Now that he thought about it, Toph wasn’t usually the type to fill silences with meaningless chatter. Something was off.

“Well, we already have a _Sugar Queen,_ ” Toph snickered, lowering her voice. “And I’d say after what I heard last night, you’d _have_ to be her King.”

“What are you talking about?” Zuko blustered, his heart racing.

Toph hooted with laughter, throwing her head back dramatically.

“Toph!” He hissed, glancing over his shoulder. Katara met his eyes for a split second before quickly refocusing on her packing while Aang bounced around her, talking animatedly. Sokka and Suki were nowhere to be seen.

“Oh, relax.” Toph waved a hand. “He isn’t paying attention to us.”

“Why would I care?” Zuko crossed his arms, pretending indifference. The truth was, the Avatar was already getting on his nerves. Aang hadn’t left Katara’s side all morning.

“Stop it, Zuko. I _heard_ you two. There’s no point denying it,” Toph insisted.

“What exactly is it that you think you heard?” Zuko worked to keep his voice even.

 “Do I have to spell it out for you?” She rolled her eyes impatiently. “Listen, coal for brains, I may be blind, but I hear everything. I feel everything. I can hear how fast your heart is beating. I know where Sokka and Suki are, _and_ what they’re doing. So trust me when I say I know exactly what you did last night, and with who!”

Zuko’s flight-or-fight response kicked into overdrive, his noisy traitor heart thudding in his chest.

“That’s impossible,” he spluttered.

“Not for me. So cut the crap and spill!”

“What do you want me to say? You’ve already heard way more than I would ever tell you!” He retorted accusingly.

“It’s not like I was spying on you! You have no _idea_ how loud it was to me. Not exactly the way I wanted to find out,” Toph snorted, and Zuko burned with embarrassment. So much for keeping things a secret. _Why_ hadn’t Katara thought of this? Didn’t she know about Toph’s supernatural hearing? How could she not?

“Geez, Zuko, relax! You look like your head’s gonna explode.”

“I wonder why,” he snapped. “What did you expect?”

“Honestly, no idea. I just knew there was _something_ going on between you two.”

“Really.” Zuko eyed her doubtfully. “Was that ‘something’ her intense hatred for me?”

“Yeah,” Toph laughed again, and Zuko reflexively checked to make sure Aang was still occupied. “She was so hostile towards you. It made me think.”

“Reach any brilliant conclusions?” Zuko asked sardonically.

“Well,” Toph paused, pondering. “I just figure, why waste all that energy if you don’t care? None of us trusted you, but even Aang - who almost died - wasn’t as mad as she was. She _really_ hated you.”

“Thanks for reminding me,” he grumbled, shouldering his bag. He caught sight of Sokka and Suki strolling nonchalantly out of the trees. “But what that’s supposed to prove?”

“It proves that it was _personal,”_ Toph said in a satisfied voice. He stared at her, puzzled by the significance.

“You guys ready to go?” Aang appeared beside them, and Zuko nearly jumped out of his skin. “Ha! Got you, Zuko!”

“Guilty conscience?” Toph remarked quietly, causing Aang to eye her quizzically.

“We’re ready,” Zuko said firmly, resolving to tear Toph limb from limb as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

“Great! Last one on Appa is a rotten sea prune!” Aang shot into the air and left the two of them squinting through the dust he kicked up.

“Sea prune?” Zuko queried, coughing.

“Yeah, he hates them,” Toph explained with a grin, then unexpectedly whacked him on the back. “Come on, Spice King. Let’s get this show on the road.”

“ _Don’t_ call me that,” he snapped, watching Aang soar across the sky to alight on Appa’s fluffy head. After Aang’s brooding behavior the night before, Zuko thought he might have managed to drive the reality of their situation into the Avatar’s stubborn pacifist brain.

_Or not. He’s as lively as ever._ Zuko scowled. _Which is mostly a good thing, except when it gets on my nerves… but the real issue is that we’re only a couple weeks away from the comet. He needs to get more serious. And so do I. No more floating in the clouds thinking about Katara all the time._ Even as he thought it, images of her floated through his mind, and he started feeling all warm and fuzzy. _Well, I’ll try. The war comes first, as Katara insists. And part of me agrees with her._

“Listen, Toph, you can’t say _anything_ to Aang. Katara’s really paranoid about it.”

“What a surprise! I wonder why?” Toph said mischievously as she walked away. Zuko huffed and followed after her.

“She has her reasons,” he grumbled.

“Oh, I’m sure she does!” Toph snorted. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”

“Thanks,” Zuko murmured, relieved. “So, no more clever remarks?”

“I never said _that.”_

“Toph!”

“Hey! Will you two _please_ hurry up?” Sokka whined loudly from his perch on Appa, who rumbled in agreement.  

“We’re coming, keep your ponytail on!” Toph yelled back. “Look, Zuko, I do get it,” she continued in a lower voice. “It’s a bad time to be dumping this kind of information on Aang.”

“That’s the gist of it.” He hoped his simmering frustration wasn’t too apparent.

“Right,” she said dryly. “We can talk about how you’re totally fine with that later.”

Zuko’s stomach clenched nervously as they climbed up to join the others. Sokka and Suki were curled on one side, furthest away from Aang, who was cross-legged on Appa’s head as usual. Toph casually sprawled out closest to Aang, leaving Zuko with the spot across from Katara.

_Limb. From. Limb._ Zuko promised Toph silently as he sat down, completely failing to stop himself from glancing at Katara. He thought she looked a little forlorn, all curled up against the saddle with a distant expression, and was surprised by the force of the concern that surged through him in response.

Toph snickered, and his eyes jumped to her. _I see Katara, and my heartbeat gives me away. For crying out loud. I should just throw myself overboard now._

Zuko slumped against his pack, disheartened. Sokka was already snoring, Suki tucked under his arm with a drowsy expression. He glanced at Katara again. She wasn’t looking at him. Hard to believe she was the same girl who’d been moaning in his arms the night before. _While Toph was listening to everything._

He swallowed hard, feeling queasy at the thought.

“So, how far is this island?” Aang called brightly, yanking Zuko from his brooding.

“Less than a day. Not sure. I’ve never gone there by flying bison before.” Zuko sat up reluctantly and peered into the horizon. “Just keep heading southwest.”

“You’re sure we’ll be safe there?” Katara piped up, and both he and Aang immediately turned to look at her. She flicked her eyes between the two of them, one corner of her lips pulling up with the hint of a smirk.

“Uh, yes.” Zuko struggled for words, his face growing warm, tearing his gaze away from her mouth. _I have to get ahold of myself. I’m not a twelve year old with his first crush._ He cleared his throat. “My family has a vacation home there – you know, private property.”

“We’re gonna be staying in the Fire Lord’s house?” Toph exclaimed, “Cool!”

“Yeah, cool…” Aang sent Zuko a worried look.

“I promise you, he won’t look for us there,” Zuko assured him, hating how hard it was to meet those innocent eyes.

“Thanks, Zuko.” Aang stretched and let himself sink into Appa’s thick fur.

“Yeah, no problem.” Zuko replied half-heartedly. This was not how things should be. Aang trusted him, despite everything he’d done. And at some point in the future, Zuko would have to tell him that he’d betrayed him. Again. He didn’t want to face that reality.  

He sighed heavily and caught Katara’s gaze. Her ocean eyes were dark and stormy, tight with the same guilt that weighed upon him. Maybe they were doing the wrong thing. Maybe it was selfish. Maybe it wasn’t worth causing so much pain.

_I can’t lie to myself._  Zuko looked away. He felt nothing but creeping dread and horror at the notion of ending this thing between them – the closer they’d become, the harder it was to imagine not being with her. But if that meant lying to Aang… breaking Mai’s heart after all she’d sacrificed for him… how could that be right? How could he still be good?

But could he stand to never touch her again? To watch her become the Avatar’s girl for real, then go back to the Fire Nation with Mai and forget it ever happened?

_No._ Zuko’s heart stuttered painfully at just the thought. _She could already be with him, if she wanted. But she’s not. She picked_ me _. It’s no one’s fault._

If only they didn’t have to lie to him. That was the real betrayal.

He spent the remainder of the trip wracking his brain for a solution, a way to keep the peace when the truth came out. He came to the same conclusions he had before. Sokka definitely wouldn’t be happy. Suki wasn’t his biggest fan. But Toph was on his side. For some reason. _I’m not even going to touch that one._ All in all, he doubted anyone else would react with any degree of acceptance or understanding. He hardly understood how this had happened himself.

_I wish Uncle was here._

When the blood-red sun began sinking into the horizon - long after his head had started to throb - he finally spotted the familiar outline of Ember Island in the distance.

“We’re almost there,” Zuko called out, pointing. Aang perked up immediately, swiveling his head back and forth to follow Zuko’s finger.

“Got it!” He crowed excitedly before sending Appa into a steep climb above the clouds. The saddle was suddenly filled with annoyed cries and the _thunks_ of people crashing into one another. Zuko grimly held onto Toph’s ankle after she went flying and kicked him in the head during the hubbub. Sokka was half yelling-half yawning, flailing in confusion while Suki and Katara kept a tight grip on his belt.

“What was that all about?!” Toph demanded when Appa leveled out a moment later, her fingers digging into Zuko’s arm painfully. He raised his eyebrow at her before remembering she couldn’t see it, and immediately wanted to kick himself.

“Oops. Sorry, guys. I was just trying to have a little fun.” Aang managed to look apologetic for about a second, then he was back to bouncing up and down in place. Everyone fell silent as they sailed closer, the sky around them growing dimmer with every passing minute. There was a certain unease in the air, as if no one could bring themselves to get excited about a new place just yet. Except Aang, of course.

Zuko suddenly wondered if Aang hadn’t been a little _too_ cheerful the whole day. Not that Aang wasn’t consistently, infuriatingly optimistic and upbeat, but still… something seemed off. He was trying too hard. Somewhat lacking his usual effortless aura of goodwill.

_Maybe he listened to me after all,_ Zuko thought with relief and a touch of dread. He wanted to believe that Aang could save the world. He definitely had enough power, and talent. The question was… would he use it?

It had become hard to see each other’s faces in the darkness, and Zuko felt Appa begin to sink back down through the clouds. Ember Island lay spread out below them, lights twinkling in the houses dotting the beaches.

“Over there,” Zuko pointed at a dark patch, separated from the rest of the beach by the natural rocky walls of an inlet. Aang brought Appa down on the fine white sand, and for a moment they all just stared at the shadowy outline of the Royal Family’s vacation home.

“Come on.” He vaulted himself over the saddle, wasting no time. He went first as they lugged their belongings through the sand and up the familiar wooden stairs. The house was the same as he’d left it. Furniture half destroyed in the main room. Pictures all gone. The only thing that wasn’t the same was him.

“Wow. It’s big.” Suki peered down one of the two hallways.

“Yeah,” Sokka shivered, eyeing the cobwebs and the thick layer of dust coating every surface. “Kinda spooky.”

Zuko snorted. “Don’t worry, Sokka. I’ll be the only one seeing ghosts.”

“None of that.” Katara spoke firmly from behind him. “I’m sure we’ll all feel better after a good night’s rest.”

He shouldn’t have done it, but too late. He looked at her. It was unimaginably surreal, her standing in the doorway of the last place his family was together and happy. His past and present, intertwined.

Also surreal was the herd of kids tearing through the house – throwing the windows open, Toph shoving the broken furniture into a corner and salvaging what was left. Aang took care of the dust (for the most part) with a few well-aimed blasts of air, looking like he was having the time of his life, while Sokka and Suki took a suspiciously long time to put clean sheets on all the beds. Katara disappeared to the kitchen with their food and returned with sandwiches that they all devoured in between unpacking. Zuko occupied himself lighting the lamps, strangely content with the hum of activity around him. He felt almost… at home.

“Okay,” Toph groaned as she plopped to the ground. “I’m beat.”

“Me too,” Aang agreed with a jaw-cracking yawn.

“Let’s call it for the night. Pick any room. Except the last one down the left hallway. That’s mine,” Zuko gestured, then bent the flames in the lamps down to a small glow as everyone headed to bed.

“Night, Zuko,” Toph said as she left, Aang right behind her.

“Goodnight. Oh, Aang?” Zuko called after the little air-bender. “I’ll see you when the sun rises.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Aang grumbled his way out of the room… his door clicked… and there was silence. Zuko sank into the nearest chair and heaved a deep, drawn-out sigh, as if he could expel all that was bothering him. He felt too worn out to move, and he dozed on and off in the semi-darkness for an undeterminable amount of time.

A creak in the floorboards brought him fully awake.

“You should go to bed, Zuko,” he heard Katara say softly, and he rolled his head around to see her leaning in the doorway in a red dressing gown, watching him. Her hair was damp. She must have gone for a swim.

“I will,” he tried to assure her, but even that felt like too much effort. His emotions had been such a whirlwind lately. Up and down and back up again… and down… and up… and down.

He was drained.

“Hey…” Katara hesitated for a split second before coming to sit on the arm of his chair, as close as she could be without sitting in his lap. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Zuko breathed in her scent, heady from her proximity after a day of careful distance. “I’m just…”

“Happy and also not?” Katara murmured, daring to trail her fingers down his arm. He sucked in a slight breath, and she stopped. “Me, too.”

“I miss you.” The words just slipped out, and he quickly looked away, feeling uncomfortably vulnerable.

“That is so sweet.” He chanced a glance, and her lips were pursed like she was trying to keep from smiling. Red-stained cheeks. Good signs.

“You make it easy. And you look good in red, by the way.”

“Oh, you mean this?” Katara smoothed her hand down the silky robe.

“No.” Zuko brushed her cheek with his knuckles. “Here.”

He made to pull away again, but her fingers slipped around his wrist in a firm grasp, stopping him. They stared at each other, inches apart, and he swore he felt it on his when her lips trembled.

“We can’t do this here,” she whispered, and he nodded slowly.

“Right.”

“We should…” her eyes were focused on his lips. Was she getting closer?

“Uh huh,” he breathed, and then there was no more space between them. Katara slipped into his lap with a delightful wriggle, straddling him. Damp strands of hair tickled his neck as her tongue tangled with his, and he couldn’t hold her tight enough. She moaned quietly into his mouth, slowly undulating her hips against the swell of his growing hardness.

“Katara,” Zuko panted, his blood burning with desire. “Really shouldn’t…”

“I know,” she murmured, lips lingering over his. “Sorry. Couldn’t help it.”

She eased off his lap, looking flushed, and was across the room before he even attempted to move. He raised an eyebrow at her.

“Why are you all the way over there?”

“I guess I can’t trust myself to keep a clear head when I’m close to you,” Katara eyed him wistfully, one perfect bronzed shoulder exposed from their activities. In that Fire Nation robe, the swell of her breasts just barely visible beneath it, she screamed temptation. But it was her words that had him short of breath, had his stomach in knots. He wanted her so badly it hurt.

He got up and crossed the room. Katara stared at him with a mix of excitement and panic, seemingly frozen in place.

Zuko grasped her face in his hands, bringing his lips to within an inch of hers – and instead turning her head to whisper in her ear.

“Sweet dreams, Katara.”

He kissed her on the cheek and left her standing in the doorway, unwilling to press his luck - or his willpower - any more tonight.

Alone in his room, Zuko stripped down and glumly climbed into bed, already missing her again.

Sleep was a long time coming, and even after he’d finally succumbed, he was woken later that night by a warm little body that crawled under the covers with him. Gentle hands glided over his skin, and the hot, damp lips that trailed their way across his body had him hard in seconds. A curtain of silky hair brushed against his face; his only hint before her lips melded to his softly, yet with a hungry edge. A buoyant feeling of pure joy unfolded inside his chest.

_Katara…_


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life's been busy lately - I've tried to be more social, and as I'm sure anyone with a full-time job who writes can attest, people take away a lot of your free time. I'm not giving up on this story, nor do I plan to, but I can't guarantee the weekly updates. I can't just leave it, though! The story must be completed! Enjoy!

_-Katara-_

It broke her heart to leave him, but she couldn’t risk falling asleep in his bed. Katara slipped from Zuko’s warm, drowsy embrace a few hours before sunrise, her bare feet skimming across the wooden floors as quietly as possible.

When she passed the front door, she thought she heard something. Katara whirled around, eyeballing the dark corners of the room.

No one there.

_“Katara!”_

“Toph?” Katara whispered, feeling like she was losing her mind. “Is that you?” She really, _really_ hoped there weren’t spirits here after all.

“ _Yes! Come outside!”_

“Geez…” Katara sighed and walked over to open the door. Toph was standing on the porch, tapping her foot. “You scared me. Why are you up?”

“Not the same reason you are, that’s for sure.”

_Uhhhh…_ “Huh?”

“Did you _really_ forget that I hear everything?” Toph asked impatiently, shaking her head. “Come on, Katara. At least Zuko had the excuse of not knowing.”

Katara quickly stepped out onto the porch and shut the door behind her, panic fluttering in her chest. _Oh, spirits. I’m such an idiot._

“What do you know?” Katara asked urgently, keeping her voice low.

“Let’s take a walk.” Toph turned and headed down the stairs with a satisfied smirk. Katara followed her, fuming. If Toph knew everything, it would only make it more difficult to keep anyone else from finding out. It’s not like she was known for her subtlety. _And you know what they say about secrets…_

“It’s not what you think, you know,” Toph told her casually as they came out onto the beach. “I’m on your side.”

Katara stopped in her tracks. “You are?”

“Yeah.” Toph plopped down in the sand. “Didn’t Zuko say anything?”

“No, he didn’t. But I… we…” Katara trailed off, feeling self-conscious. Was she even ready to admit to anyone else how she felt about him? It had all happened so fast, in retrospect, even though it hadn’t felt like it. All those singular moments, piled on top of one another, bringing the two of them closer together.

“…we didn’t have a lot of time to talk,” she mumbled.

“I don’t need the details!” Toph rolled her eyes, but she was beaming.

“Why doesn’t this bother you?” Katara asked suspiciously. “You know everyone else is going to be furious when they find out. It’s _Zuko._ ”  

“So?”

“Don’t give me that.”

“Everyone here knows Zuko is on the good side now.” Toph bit her lip.

“That won’t matter to Aang, Toph,” Katara whispered, afraid her voice would break if she spoke normally.

“I know,” Toph said quietly, dragging her fingers through the sand. “And I know it sucks, Katara, like _really_ sucks, but… you’re gonna have to hurt Aang. No getting around it. Unless you wanna hurt Zuko instead. That’s your choice.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Katara crossed her arms, glaring into the distance. “I’m going to tell Aang. After.”

“After what?”

“After the war. After Ozai is defeated.”

“Katara, how do you think Aang will feel when he realizes how long you were lying to him?” Toph asked reproachfully, sounding angry for the first time.

“How do you think he’ll feel if he gets killed by the Fire Lord, distracted by his broken heart? Oh wait - he won’t feel anything. He’ll be dead!”

“You really think a lot of yourself, huh?” Toph rolled her eyes. “What makes you so sure that’s what will happen?”

“Thought you said you were on my side?” Katara snorted. “I just know what I see, Toph. And I see a lovesick kid with this huge destiny almost upon him, who I trust with my life, and trusts me with his. He’s my best friend – he’s family. All I’ve ever wanted is to protect him, and I’m still trying to do that now! The truth won’t help him defeat the Fire Lord. At least my way, he has a better chance.”

“This isn’t better for Aang,” Toph objected with a scowl. “It’s better for you.”

“No. I hate lying to him. I hate knowing I’ll be the source of more pain.” Katara swallowed down the lump in her throat. “But if we lose the war, it won’t matter much, will it?”

“I _guess…_ I see your point,” Toph muttered grudgingly. “But I don’t like it.”

“You sound like Zuko,” Katara sighed. “I know. It feels wrong. But in this case… “ She shrugged, conflicted. “For me, it really came down to whether Aang’s feelings were more important than the fate of the world. And as much as I care about him, as much as it’s going to hurt later on… for both of us… I can’t lie to myself. Then or now.”

“You’ve really thought about this,” Toph mused. She didn’t sound pleased.

“Yeah.” Katara sighed again, deeper this time. The guilt would probably eat her alive before long.

“I thought you were just scared to tell Aang.”

“No, not scared… I know he won’t hurt me. And I don’t _think_ he’ll hurt Zuko. I’m more worried about what he’ll do to himself.”

“He _does_ have a tendency to run away from his problems,” Toph agreed, looking annoyed. “And get himself into trouble while he’s at it.”

“Exactly.”

They both heaved identical sighs, causing Katara to crack a smile as Toph rolled her eyes.

“Now I’m feeling as depressed as you’ve been looking the last couple days.”

Katara didn’t reply. What was she supposed to say? _Yeah, the guilt is kinda killing me. It’ll be worse when Aang actually finds out… and on top of that, I feel even_ more _guilty because of how much I think about Zuko,_ Zuko _of all people, and how impossibly right it feels to be with him. Do I deserve to have that? Will Aang hate me forever? Will he be okay?_

There was just no way to know, except to wait and see. That was the real torture of it all. She was keeping secrets, keeping Aang stable until after the war. It was a cold way to treat a friend, and it filled her with self-loathing. She’d argued her point to Zuko, and Toph, convinced each of them. For the greater good. _I could probably convince anyone of anything with that argument._

She had no idea what the future held. For her, for Zuko… for Aang. She wanted all of them, together, and Zuko’s hand burning in hers, and Aang’s buoyant energy, Sokka’s lovable noise and Suki’s steadfast loyalty, Toph’s unstoppable will and candor. Was that too much to ask for? Was choosing Zuko going to ruin everything?

_I have to stop obsessing._

“Katara?” Toph was on her feet now, sounding worried. “You okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” Katara assured her. “It’s just been… a wild few weeks.”

“More wild than the last few months?”

A small, startled laugh popped out of Katara’s mouth, without her permission. What an impossible life she’d already led. So much had happened, so fast, and she never thought she’d be where she was now, _who_ she was.   

“Somehow, yes. I guess that sounds pretty unbelievable.”

“Nah, I believe it. It _is_ Zuko. I suspected, sure, and then I heard the concrete proof, but _still…_ Water Tribe Princess and Fire Nation Prince? Falling in love during a war? It’s like something out of a fairytale! Or a prophecy…” Toph looked thoughtful.

“I’m not really a princess, but I see your point.” Katara smiled, imagining their story still told eons later, just like Oma and Shu.

“Or fate! Yeah, that’s my favorite. You guys were destined to be together.”  

“Okay, calm down,” Katara laughed, feeling her spirits rise. It was nice to have somebody on their side. “Honestly, we haven’t talked too much about the future. Kind of moot at this point, you know?”

“How is it moot? You wanna die without having that conversation? Without knowing?” Toph had turned serious in an instant, standing stock still with her head angled towards Katara. Listening. Hearing more than other people would.

Katara tried to calm her suddenly thumping heart. Toph had pounced on the one thing she’d been trying so hard _not_ to think about.

It was painfully clear to her, though, no matter how much she wanted to block it out. Her feelings weren’t some temporary madness, brought about by the potential end of the world. She wanted to be with Zuko at all times, look into his eyes and hear his husky voice and remind him how wanted he truly was - which was just the tip of the iceberg, really, judging by the strength of will it took to hold back everything she felt. The way she wanted always to touch him when he was near, and the way he absolutely stole her breath away. The burning desire she felt to protect him at all costs. Her faith in him. Her awe. Her pride. The fierce tenderness his pain now stirred in her.

What if she let herself love him, and she lost him?

“You’re scared, Katara, this time I can tell.”

“Completely different topic,” Katara mumbled, blinking tears back. Hard.

“None of us can count on a happy ending.” Toph gave her tiny, light punch on the shoulder. “But you gotta try anyway. Night, Sugar Queen. I’m here for you.”

“Thanks, Toph.” Katara rolled her eyes with a wet snort. “Sleep tight.”

 

Katara went through half a dozen water-bending forms before she felt calm enough to return to the house. Instinctively, she turned to head down Zuko’s hallway, but came to an abrupt halt, glaring at his door. Not that she was angry at him. There was just something so frustrating about him being _right there,_ warm and naked and alone, and not being able to go to him. But she’d pushed her luck already tonight.

In a few hours, she’d have to wake up and pretend she was well-rested, pretend she hadn’t moaned quietly into the crook of Zuko’s neck the night before, or that his hands hadn’t left slight imprints around her forearms as he held them above her head.

She’d have to pretend that his smile didn’t fill her to the brim with warmth, and light.

Katara tiptoed into her room, cheeks warm, head filled with daydreams about being alone with him, really alone, but not because they had to hide. Just to be together.

She slipped out of her clothes and under the sheets, letting her tired body relax into the mattress with a low groan of relief. She hadn’t slept in almost twenty-four hours.

Vaguely, in her last few seconds of consciousness, she wished for the feel of Zuko’s scorching skin against hers.  


End file.
